In Depth Verse Breakdown

[EtH]

I can't be bothered voting on your wack ass battles cause after I get through one verse I remember there's an even more boring one coming next, but I'm in the mood to break down some stuff to a lower level.

Drop me some bars or lines and I'll break it down into the technical aspects. I probably won't be fucked to say whether or not I like the actual punchline, more so the other aspects of the line.

[Charan]

I can't be bothered voting on your wack ass battles cause after I get through one verse I remember there's an even more boring one coming next, but I'm in the mood to break down some stuff to a lower level.

Drop me some bars or lines and I'll break it down into the technical aspects. I probably won't be fucked to say whether or not I like the actual punchline, more so the other aspects of the line.

Bro your signature has me weak af LMAO

[Aggo]

EtH

Audio GC. And take a look at the cast
First up gets the first punch and I'm hookin him fast
The rest a yall look like food. But this ones straight outta luck
Fish tale. Before I eat I gotta take out the guts!

Bitch. All you ever wanted was to moderate the site.
But you werent even good enough to moderate your life.
now LB is all you got. Its time to contemplate the knife
Cuz you were married to the beef and couldnt compensate your wife!

When she was wed to you, she said she was asexual.
Chastity belt was padlocked.
When she met me, wet peach
A couple shots she let the pants drop
She said she was too drunk to take it all.
But I think that she was only half cocked!

That's a hell of a life
Depressed cuz you got left
By a celibate wife

She never took it at all and now shes taking half?
That's tough, but then of course
You never got fucked in the marraige
At least you're gettin fucked in the divorce!

And you know what he did!
He said bye bye wife. I'll try the bi bi life
And gargled another man's testicals
A real jolly roger
Floating to any fairy that'll fuck
This guy is peter pansexual!

Uh oh, I'm gettin personal
Yeah when I get a chance its war
Now I bet you wanna bitch out?
Too bad, this isnt Rants discord!

See I'm an Aggro crag amongst an ocean of dust
This competition is childs play
You're Nickelodeon, Guts.

Did you guys know this guy plays instruments and he sings
I snatch his own guitar and start to implement a beating
*twang, twang* when the chords snap I'll start to whip him till hes bleeding
And remind him who he is when I split this pussys lips with the G string!

It's my time now to find out
What the fucks up with
is he guts or is he gutless
So I cut him with a cutlass
Stomach to sternum to see what this faggots about
But when I sliced him, just 3 smaller faggots fell out

[EtH]

I tried to give feed, but how the fuck do you give feed on audio lyrics if you're not talking about concepts or punches. Like I can't say "This word choice doesn't really flow" cause maybe it does, youre spitting it out loud you can say it whichever way you want.

Some dope punches in there but audio is entirely about punch power and rap skills. Shit like using assonance or whatever is irrelevant cause if you can flow it, using additional techniques to establish rhythm is irrelevant. No one other than you has to be able to flow it.

Hard to break down technically other than looking at rhyme patterns and shit which is unnecessary on LB at this stage.

[Aggo]

Dude, no one on this website wants to be critiqued. They want to be praised. Just tell em I'm awesome and be done with it.

[EtH]

Dude, no one on this website wants to be critiqued. They want to be praised. Just tell em I'm awesome and be done with it.

Haha I did breakdown the repetition of the word "moderate" and explain how in text you'd be criticized with that, but people need to understand that this itself is a little play on words and would be similar to a diss you'd give someone as a comeback on the street. The repetition works in that instance and is different from uncreatively reusing a rhyme word.

[Celsius]

Here break down this


You're on "life support" in the Tag tourney. Only RIGHT THAT A BULL'S YOUR CRUTCH! "I provide all of ya dope lines", 'n it's TIME THAT I "PULL YA PLUG"! You won't "push the right buttons" goin' up against ya FAVORITE RHYMER. If you're "makin moves that'll do some damage"? You're just busy bein' a GAME DESIGNER! He'll say he's my "father-figure", but I'm in an echelon that EtH'S REACHIN FOR. When I ended AC's? Ya said-I'm-a-faggot, Dave, 'til I "made it big, 'n ya mooched off my success-'n-my-accolades" - you're a "DEAD BEAT", FOR SURE! Invested in Turnbulls cause of RULE. You hate that he's someone LETSBEEF ADORES. Ironic: you used us to "put a price on his head" cause he lives "RENT FREE IN YOURS"! You're always tryna stick-it-to-the-man til they hit-you-w/-a-ban cause ya got yaself conVINCED YOU'VE EXPOSED THE TRUTH! You "readin' the tea leaves is makin me drop ya bag in the water" but this ain't LIPTON I'VE CHOSE TO BREW! You're on that "human centipede swag": nurses'll have STITCHES GET SEWN IN YOU cause "your mouth's been connected to all that SHIT YOU'VE BEEN GOIN' THROUGH"! EtH wishes he was YOU WISH, nothin' he RHYMES IS DECENT, THOUGH. I'll "bury this grunt at Arlington National" since he wanna "DIE TO BE UNKNOWN"! #DieSlow

[EtH]

You're on "life support" in the Tag tourney. Only RIGHT THAT A BULL'S YOUR CRUTCH! "I provide all of ya dope lines", 'n it's TIME THAT I "PULL YA PLUG"!

Dead the reference style. Mentioning life support in the first bar, completely out of the context of any punch, doesn't add to the second line. Putting quotations around it is like saying "Oh, include this too". It's not included.

The "provide all of your dope lines" reference seemed unrelated to anything. You didn't mention or set any precedent for either you ghostwriting, or you inspiring the best lines. I'm not entirely sure how a "DOPE line" would relate to life support, unless you're a huge fan of life support technology and think the lifeline visualization is dope as hell.

You won't "push the right buttons" goin' up against ya FAVORITE RHYMER. If you're "makin moves that'll do some damage"? You're just busy bein' a GAME DESIGNER!

Again, the push the buttons isn't included. It's miles away from the punch. You can't be like "Fir real, "Alaska" bitch what shes doing tonight and then we'll go on a date and then we might see what we do from there....LIKE AMERICAN STATES. Punches need to be quick and snappy and you're trying to write half the punch before the punchline even starts. Good metaphor usage as this is always a fresher way to deliver than a traditional simile.

He'll say he's my "father-figure", but I'm in an echelon that EtH'S REACHIN FOR. When I ended AC's? Ya said-I'm-a-faggot, Dave, 'til I "made it big, 'n ya mooched off my success-'n-my-accolades" - you're a "DEAD BEAT", FOR SURE! Invested in Turnbulls cause of RULE. You hate that he's someone LETSBEEF ADORES. Ironic: you used us to "put a price on his head" cause he lives "RENT FREE IN YOURS"!

It gets a little wordy in the centre. I think it's a syllable too long, probably the "off" word. Obviously this is needed, but it's probably slightly too long and chops the flow a slight amount. I'm not sure I understand what the play is supposed to be with DEAD BEAT. I can't see any wordplay in there but it's sign posted as if there should be

I can't say much about the scheme because if the dead beat line does have some original flip then it'd be well executed and tells a good story. However if not, there's too much added and it's too beefy to compliment the rhyming or story.

The punch was an original delivery which made it feel very fresh. Not your typical flippy delivery of a standard punch, it's delivered more organically to this specific line. Sometimes lines can be put together in ways that others won't be, so that allows for this unique way to use the wordplay but not rely on any flips or metaphors.

You're always tryna stick-it-to-the-man til they hit-you-w/-a-ban cause ya got yaself conVINCED YOU'VE EXPOSED THE TRUTH! You "readin' the tea leaves is makin me drop ya bag in the water" but this ain't LIPTON I'VE CHOSE TO BREW! You're on that "human centipede swag": nurses'll have STITCHES GET SEWN IN YOU cause "your mouth's been connected to all that SHIT YOU'VE BEEN GOIN' THROUGH"!

i wasn't going to talk about punches or concepts, but when writing a Liptons ice tea line, realize you're writing a Liptons ice tea line and stop it. Waaaay too wordy in the tea delivery too. Especially for a punch that is only used to create the storyline narrative, establish the multi and get a little dig in, you can't allow it to be as wordy or as overall forced as this. It really takes away from the main punch which follows.

The nurses part is weird. Wasnt human centipede just one doctor? I could be wrong but that seemed a bit off to me. Punch was delivered okay but badly hindered by over manufacturing beforehand and a very forced building up lone.

EtH wishes he was YOU WISH, nothin' he RHYMES IS DECENT, THOUGH. I'll "bury this grunt at Arlington National" since he wanna "DIE TO BE UNKNOWN"! #DieSlow[/QUOTE]

I think what's so good about this line is I have no idea what Arlington National is, and I completely don't need to. You've framed the line well enough that I completely get what you mean and the impact lands without me having to know it. In regards to the earlier line when I said punchlines are supposed to be snappy and the reference style of adding in a "phrase on the theme" in the previous line is pointless, this is an example of a straight up punchline. It rests on the merits of its delivery and concept. Sure, the writer could have said "No one would give YOU As (UAs)" or some shit to "quantify the punch" but it's completely pointless. Write a punch and deliver it, just like was the case here. You don't need to over engineer anything when the line has been designed clearly with good intent and impact.

[Rain Matrix 2021]

"i cant be bothered voting on your wack-ass lyrics"

Eth tryina be the bad guy now instead of the victim lol ... thats pretty cool man. Shows insecurity actually ... :high: ... In every possible way


Why can't u open up nigga? think its soft? lol .... Congrats your the 1 person above emotions. If anything , that doesn't make u smart ... Studies suggest lack of emotions come from low intelligence ... ie insects. It's a smart person thing ... S'why rainy got a bigger heart, and a higher IQ


Ur words are pretty tough looking tho atleast :D the old Rebel-with-a-tragic-past-so-he-has-trouble-opening-up gimmick looks nice on ya

[Locchart]

Here break down this


You're on "life support" in the Tag tourney. Only RIGHT THAT A BULL'S YOUR CRUTCH! "I provide all of ya dope lines", 'n it's TIME THAT I "PULL YA PLUG"! You won't "push the right buttons" goin' up against ya FAVORITE RHYMER. If you're "makin moves that'll do some damage"? You're just busy bein' a GAME DESIGNER! He'll say he's my "father-figure", but I'm in an echelon that EtH'S REACHIN FOR. When I ended AC's? Ya said-I'm-a-faggot, Dave, 'til I "made it big, 'n ya mooched off my success-'n-my-accolades" - you're a "DEAD BEAT", FOR SURE! Invested in Turnbulls cause of RULE. You hate that he's someone LETSBEEF ADORES. Ironic: you used us to "put a price on his head" cause he lives "RENT FREE IN YOURS"! You're always tryna stick-it-to-the-man til they hit-you-w/-a-ban cause ya got yaself conVINCED YOU'VE EXPOSED THE TRUTH! You "readin' the tea leaves is makin me drop ya bag in the water" but this ain't LIPTON I'VE CHOSE TO BREW! You're on that "human centipede swag": nurses'll have STITCHES GET SEWN IN YOU cause "your mouth's been connected to all that SHIT YOU'VE BEEN GOIN' THROUGH"! EtH wishes he was YOU WISH, nothin' he RHYMES IS DECENT, THOUGH. I'll "bury this grunt at Arlington National" since he wanna "DIE TO BE UNKNOWN"! #DieSlow

LOL you’re wrong for this

[Rain Matrix 2021]

Oh yea i forgot .. im blocked Lol


Still looking tough buddy. Not insecure At Alllll

---------- Post added at 09:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:18 PM ----------

Fuck Ill Block Myself If It'll Make u Feel Better Hahah


EtH Ignoring Me Is Ignoring The Laws of The Universe ... It's not really a spite thing


Am i trying to help u? Or am i continuing just so u dont listen, ruining your life

Who knows Who cares Ur Thick Headed . "Rainy climbed that mountain so im not going to" .. Childish :high:

[Shodan]

He'd ruin-his-whole-life by choosing-to-throw-dice, tossing CUBES AND CHANCING IT! He's currently "on top of the house" but the FUTURE'S CANCEROUS for that STUPID GAMBLING SHIT you wouldn't see "six-sided objects get 'em more turned around" unless I USED AN ALLEN WRENCH to SCREW A RAFTER IN!!! I'll beat you like a slave on some KUNTA'S MASTER SHIT, you can get "whipped around on the shoulder" without a CRUISING AMBULANCE! - and with this public curbstomp "I'll get more fame for stepping on that body" than the LUNAR LANDING DID!!! If someone didn't surrender on my terms my missiles probly BLEW THE MAN TO BITS! He knows "Negotiating conditions will lead to a strike being called" like a UNION PLANNED TO QUIT!!! This dumb-fucker begs gun-runners to give him RUGERS, GATS, & SMITHS because he thinks it puts him in the COOLEST CLASS TO SPIT! This white boy's got more "hand-outs to raise arms for sport" than a saLUTING CLASS OF KIDS in MUNICH AT THE GYM if the FUHRER'S BACK AGAIN!!! He begged me for a spot in Fire Nation, but the deLUSION THAT YOU'D GET into my CREW IS STAGERRING, which had this "kid getting left in a different group," it's like you MOVED FROM "MAGA, BITCH!" to a YOUTH-FOR-SANDERS GIG!!! / The Fire Nation.

[Rowdy]

Oh yea i forgot .. im blocked Lol


Still looking tough buddy. Not insecure At Alllll

---------- Post added at 09:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:18 PM ----------

Fuck Ill Block Myself If It'll Make u Feel Better Hahah


EtH Ignoring Me Is Ignoring The Laws of The Universe ... It's not really a spite thing


Am i trying to help u? Or am i continuing just so u dont listen, ruining your life

Who knows Who cares Ur Thick Headed . "Rainy climbed that mountain so im not going to" .. Childish :high:

He legit has you blocked yet you're still typing to him knowing he's not reading it.

let it go b.

[EtH]

LOL you’re wrong for this

What was that battle even in? I lost to you and Seul when tagging with Punk and I beat Cel and someone when tagging with you. I have no idea when this was. I actually thought it was the one we won before realising it was you in the battle

[Locchart]

What was that battle even in? I lost to you and Seul when tagging with Punk and I beat Cel and someone when tagging with you. I have no idea when this was. I actually thought it was the one we won before realising it was you in the battle

It was the 16 we had from RULE’s December THC.

[EtH]

It was the 16 we had from RULE’s December THC.

Oh, why the fuck you writing in such distinctively 2 styles? Was proper tag versey haha.

Just saying, my original 16 was better :)

Edit: Dunno how I took you to 22% though. I know non-compliments battle was an original idea but that shits fucking impossible to nail haha. The snarky sarcasm bars work with plenty of padding with different kinds of bars, but reading that verse back it just doesn't have any sizzle.

Edit 2: Wait why the fuck are you using the reference style? ACs lessons 1-98 was "Don't use the reference style", 99 was "Don't use Grizz wordplay" and 100 was back to the previous one.

[Locchart]

Oh, why the fuck you writing in such distinctively 2 styles? Was proper tag versey haha.

Just saying, my original 16 was better :)

Edit: Dunno how I took you to 22% though. I know non-compliments battle was an original idea but that shits fucking impossible to nail haha. The snarky sarcasm bars work with plenty of padding with different kinds of bars, but reading that verse back it just doesn't have any sizzle.

Edit 2: Wait why the fuck are you using the reference style? ACs lessons 1-98 was "Don't use the reference style", 99 was "Don't use Grizz wordplay" and 100 was back to the previous one.

I did it to really irritate you in our battle. Did it work? :D

Honestly the fact you did something so different from the norm is what people liked most about it. I can see why folks voted for it.

[EtH]

I did it to really irritate you in our battle. Did it work? :D

Honestly the fact you did something so different from the norm is what people liked most about it. I can see why folks voted for it.

I think it's really cool people got what I was doing. I LOVED feedback on that, but objectively as a verse it wasn't as hard hitting so I really couldn't win. It was really hard to write a fresh 16 since I put loads into the previous so I wanted to be a bit off the wall with it.

It worked, fuck the reference style! Nah I liked the verse even if i didn't remember it haha. It's good to see fresh shit being pulled out. The UA and RULE angles were new concepts on me and a good example of how to bring personals out of things people usually don't give credit to.

[Rain Matrix 2021]

punk idgaf i was learning about it as i wrote about it. Wasnt out of the way at all ... And everytime i post, EtH gets to feel like he's ignoring me lol Dudes confidence is high af right now. Not a bad thing is it?


+ You & Him Still Incorporating My Idea's Into Your Posts Lol .... That was just low-level shit you guys could maybe comprehend The last few weeks. Hope it makes you feel smart. Got a Journal Started , Putting some ideas down on paper. a Black-Hole Theory, Shit Like That


Gooood luck with the whole "Fix-LB" Project lol

[Kiwi Peewee]

EtH I can't ask for public feedback on my verse for a battle that's still open; BUT... surely since this battle is an 8-liner you could drop a quick vote, since the whole battle is no longer than the Rieper verse you just broke down... https://www.letsbeef.com/battle_details.php?section=tb&id=517828

[Barzooka]

https://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_battle_details.php?id=1923&section=lb

When I kick your ass B? Boom! Lights out mother fucker! I just hit the SWITCH ON YOU! Your titles ain't shit to me! And in this battle I'll have "no ties to defeat" like SLIP ON SHOES!

You never had a BITCH ON YOU so you tend to BITCH ON DUDE! But yo! I HEARD THAT BAD SEX TRAITS had been your thing, nerd, FOR THE PAST DECADE! 'Cuz whenever you're playing with chess (chest) it's when the BOARD IS FLAT, CHECKMATE!

LET'S SAY, you thought you'd be in clear water. WOW MY DUDE! Your flow is fucking garbage! You wanna KNOW HOW I KNEW? Shit's like Cali, a bunch of trash keeps COMIN' OUT THE BLUE (BLEU)!!!

Listen you lil "Chicken CORDON BLEU", YOU such a ham 'n' everything you SPIT IS CHEEZY! But aCCORDIN' TO YOU, "it must be bad to eat soul food" 'cuz he made you DIP N LEAVE B!

Bleu ditched LB twice when "shit got hairy" we all know this DUDE'S SNATCH IS HOT 'N' BUSHY!!! So if anything coming "clean out his lips" it's just when there's a DOUCHBAG TO WASH HIS PUSSY!!!

You think YOU'D BE the dog talkin' that street shit like BLEU TUCKING FORTY FIVES? BRO YOU'RE SO SAD!!! Quit "capping," the "shots" show you're pussy when YOU FUCKING DOGGY STY, THAT'S PORNO MAGS!!! [1]

Big facts, "set you ablaze" and once you were burned out, we'd go IN DA COUCH TO SLEEP!!! Left us snoring, the only thing he's dope at, figures that his name was INDICA, BLEU REAKED!!! [2]

You CHOKE, NO PERSISTENCE, can't take the heat, lackin' fire man (lackin' fireman) you SCOPE FROM A DISTANCE!!! Calling himself Bleu, he tries sniping at the redzone, but like Australia, he got SMOKED IN AN INSTANT!!!

You a "washed up irrelevant joke" at least that's WHAT YOUR HO SAYS!!! So I'm "taking you outta the scene" like when they CUT GEORGE LOPEZ!!! [3]

Yo bread is mine when I'm "coming up from behind" but I let my NINE HIT THIS FOO FIRST!!!! Watch it "pressin' his chest when I got arms around 'em" like the HEIMLECH MANEUVER!!!! [4]

My flow was super fucking choppy because I felt super forced to rush this verse just like my first tournament battle with Bleu. However, according to the reviews if my delivery was just a bit better then I would have beaten Bleu, one of the most title decorated LB members of all time.

[1]. For the foreigners who are unfamiliar with firearms, forty-fives translates to firearms chambered in .45 caliber ammunition (e.g. a Kriss Vector.) Sty is short for style.

[2]. Indica is a strand of weed (not to be confused with strain) responsible for putting people to sleep opposed from the Sativa strand of weed which makes people more energetic. Bleu's name was Indica before he called himself Bleu/Noir.

[3]. George Lopez is a comedian who use to have his own television show named after himself. It was later cancelled.

[4]. A nine refers to another firearm chambered in 9mm Parabellum (e.g. a Glock 26 Gen. 5 or a Beretta 92x) and the Heimlech Maneuver is that thing they teach you in school where you get behind someone to apply pressure to their abdomen in case they're choking on food.

[The Saaxxx Baba]

how deep is it gonna be?