ATT 2018 ROUND 1: Writer 2 vs Writer 11 (Writer 11 wins 5-3)

[NOBLE]

Writer 2 vs. Writer 11

Rules
Verses are due by Thursday, February 8th at 11:59 PM Eastern (GMT-5).
Verses must be sent to NOBLE via Private Message.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Voting is 3-0 KO or First to 5.
Writer numbers will be changed every round.
Check your PM to find out which number you are for the round.

Topic
http://i63.tinypic.com/14b1cli.png

[NOBLE]

Writer 2

The Reluctant Queen

The brawl grows, he’s taken back, dodge, roll, feint, whack!
Her blade’s attack pierces with a clanging crack
Blood. As he enters, hush falls, ashy embers and dust fall
A wounded villain comes crashing center and then all
Goes silent. Scenes of slow triumph, change to show tyrants
Toppled. She marvels at how life can be so righteous
Awful events, impossible pretense, she’s the true heir
At first few cared, but post-victory there’s a new air.

***

The crowd cheers with a ferocity that pounds ears
Loud, near: “There she is! I can’t believe the crown’s here!”
“We love you as a goddess! Your character is flawless!”
She blushes amidst compliments and narrowest of pauses
“We worship your talents! The way you act is truly gallant!”
Words flutter through a set reminiscent of beauty pageants
Overly formal, she’s only mortal, but can’t seem appalled
Approaches the podium smiling “I’m glad to see you all…”

***

When she’s finally home alone the facade falls fast
Sure she auditioned for the role but got called last
Got lucky this time, but most often lost her best bets
The fame came with exhaustion, stalkers, death threats
It was her last wish, being an actress never meant less
But her mind whispers since you have this then you’ve been blessed
What good have you had in life you haven’t second-guessed?
The mental stress is part of your trail toward sure success
Don’t be dumb, just think from the view of the people
Being a star went to your head, now you’re snooty and regal?
The mask goes back on like a noose that’s non-lethal
Starts writing an email: “I’d love to start shooting the sequel…”

VS

Writer 11

One is All, All is One

Perhaps you saw that pic and have a lot of questions;
Have no fear. I derive the hidden truths inside the artist’s sketches,
I unlock the hidden meanings for your comprehension.
First the mask. Its wearer dons the countenance of honest ethics,
Of conformist social graces, all the pureness you could show,
But the eyes are ringed with black. They are the windows to the soul.

And the girl: she is us. I know not what her character is
The perfect feminine chick? Or a hell of a bitch?
It could be either, both, or none. And I don’t mean this in a racial way,
But some are lighter, some are darker, most in shades of grey,
Few completely good or evil. Fewer stay the same,
Their hue fluctuates, always changing place

To remove the mask in public can be certainly hectic
Yet if you leave it on in private, that’s a personal death wish
In the worst case forgetting what you were to begin with
“Be yourself…” spake the beast, and many listened,
While knowing the addendum: “…within rigid limits.”
Its form is subtly different between men and women;
The senior’s model varies from the little children’s
With different flourishes. But its bleached form invariant
To blend in with white lies. Who among you is a Seraphim?
You claim to death the mask is you, so my belief is stretched very thin.
Blindly arrogant, you say: “This mask of saints - don and cherish it!”

Yet you never can acknowledge your own vile statements. Rather, you say, “You refuse to wear the mask out of close-minded hatred.”

[NOBLE]

If anyone is unsure of how to assess and vote on a topical, read this thread: https://www.letsbeef.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111399

[Row]

Interesting . . One was story telling and the other was speaking symbolically.. the latter being the more obvious approach imo.

Writer 2 tried to take a creative approach which I can respect, but it wasn't all that coherent; I fail to see the connection between the three paragraphs.. especially the first one.. who is "he"? I assume it's the villain but if the blade isn't piercing her, how is it piercing "him" before he even entered the room? And just the phrase "the blade' s attack " sounded awkward. The whole piece had grammar issues which promoted to the coherence of the piece.

Other had my interest from the start until the second half a couple of lines were pegged with words I had to Google, but also, the train of thought derailed for me.

One piece just had less questions to ask, coupled with better rhyming and grammar.

Writer 11

[Bleu]

Both had a decent flow, 11's wording was cleaner throughout and ultimately had the read that resonated more because of it. 2 was telling more of a story but it was executed poorly due to holes in the writing.

MVGT 11

[NOBLE]

Comments/votes soft-deleted and will be reinstated later vwhen somebody wins.

[Brayne Ded]

This was probably the toughest battle for me to vote on for this round. I liked both verses for different reasons. Both writers went in different directions that made me question what I would have wrote about, myself. Writer 2, I like how you structured your verse. It rhymed well and flowed right along for a comfortable read. The breaks in between sets of lines were effective in shifting moods. The ending was a good twist as I was a bit confused as to where the story was going. Some "tears of a clown/be careful what you wish for" type shit. I can dig it. Writer 11, you had a straightforward, direct verse telling me what the topic is. I was a little discouraged the first few lines but it picked up after that. Your verse was a little more intelligent than your opponents but it also had it's shortcomings. You were very descriptive but my main issue with your verse was all the questions I was forced to ask myself. It just didn't seem consistent to me. I don't know... Maybe I just didn't interpret your verse the way you'd intended me to. Both writers posted good verses but when it comes down to it, I liked one's writing style and theme better than the others.

My vote goes to: Writer 2.

[Lockhart]

I had a much longer expo typed for this that I am currently raging over the fact I accidentally hit the back key on my phone.

In short, I feel 11 got this for me because of the fact that they were able to make it more of a story relating to the fact we all wear masks, but we must be wise in choosing when to wear them. The only complaint I would have about it is that it lacked in terms of a backstory because of the approach taken.

I almost gave this to 2 because of how well they were able to paint a picture of what seemed like a Goddess of War that was accepted by her people after fighting, but I felt the ending was just so out of left-field that it did the opposite of what a plot twist normally does and it killed the momentum instead of allowing it to peak.

[Dirty Work]

Writer 11's piece was my favorite of the two by far, but when I start thinking about the fundamentals of this Letsbeef topical thing, I think Writer 2 may have hit the a lot of the marks a bit better. Writer 2 told more of a story, had characters, and had more of a progressing piece. His writing also flowed better in my opinion. That being said, Writer 11 had an awesome take on the picture, and wrote in a way that made me feel something.
"To remove the mask in public can be certainly hectic
Yet if you leave it on in private, that’s a personal death wish
In the worst case forgetting what you were to begin with..."
Those lines really meant something. Shit was deep...
Writer 11 didn't tell a story at all really, although it was there as a premise, but it was so well done that they get my vote hands down. I give a lot of credit to the opponent for making me even consider giving them a vote against this sort of competition. Both were quite good.

[NOBLE]

Two magnificent pieces, probably my favorite two of the tourney so far. Too bad you guys had to go head to head and one will be eliminated in round 1. I'm just going to break this down element by element. When it comes to flow/rhyme scheme, I felt Writer 2 edged it here. Writer 11 flowed nicely as well, but the way writer 2 transitioned his opening scheme into a partial of that scheme afterwards was dope, and throughout the verse, the schemes occurred more regularly. I enjoyed Writer 11's vocabulary more. It's not necessarily about who used "bigger" words, but how well their chosen set of words worked with their overall presentation. I think both presented their topics well, even though they took different approaches. Writer 2 presented a storyline whereas Writer 11 presented more of an interpretation. I felt Writer 2's piece was more layered. The storyline itself can be taken as a metaphor, and perhaps the story of the warrior empress who's actually just an actress going through an audition--is actually the story of all of us, as we all wear masks and go through our own "auditions" in life. Being that there was more storyline in Writer 2's piece, I felt it also conveyed more emotion and imagery as one could almost imagine the set and hear the clanging of swords as the warrior empress duels her opponents. Writer 11's piece was valuable as well, and I saw it as perhaps more philosophical. Dope final-worthy battle overall. It was very close but I got a winner by a very slight edge.

MVGT: Writer 2

[NOBLE]

We need more votes on this....bump

[Seul]

I am giving this to Writer 2. Both verses had me engaged, but one brought a surprise ending, that actually surprised me. So the fact that the writer was able to execute exactly what he had in mind, in a creative way, was great. Writer 11 was creative also, and I like the way he displayed his verse, both had good vocabulary, and rhymed well, but I am leaning towards Writer 2 for the more entertaining read. Good-battle guys.

[Fidel Z]

Writer 2 was dope, i liked how he rhymed throughout, and the build up to that ending was nice too, actually both were dope reads, but i gotta give it to writer 11 the rhyming was just better, the structure etc.. i think that writer 11 just made the most out of that pic, and i just enjoyed reading that topical more. Good shit from both though.

MVGT: Writer 11.

[NOBLE]

Writer 11 wins 5-3. Congrats!