2013 GC RD.3 - M U G G Z Vs. UnCival Eyez Vs. Padded Cell (M U G G Z Wins 3-0)

[Enfinite]

M U G G Z Vs UnCival Eyez Vs. Padded Cell

This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship

Rules
Verses are due Thursday, December 12th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic
"Start Of A New Beginning"

[HIGHpothasis]

~THE START OF A NEW BEGINNING~


A Young Man, Tormented With The 'Struggle To Hustle'..../
The 'Tats On His Muscles' Tell The Story Of How He Came 'Bacc From The Rubble.../
His Hair Woolly, Unshaven, & His Clothes Were 'Ragged With Holes'....
Yet He Would 'Brag To The Hoes'..About All the 'Cracc That He Sold'....
The Women Would 'Sex Him For His Status'...He Drove A 'Lexus & A Stratus'...
He Didnt Care About Love, Coming Up Low On His Staccs 'Made Him The Maddest'...
He Used To Ride With The Gun 'In The Passenger Seat'...
Used To Keep 'Cash in His Sneaks' & Told No One Where He'd Be 'Stashing The Heat'...
Apparently, He Had No Parents To 'Spare Clarity'....
So His Life Most Like Resembled A Get Rich Or Die Trying 'Aired Parody'....
His Residence Was a Traphouse. The Floor Rotting and All The Windows 'Boarded Up'...
He'd Make 1000 a Day, Selling Viles Of the Yay, Then Turn Around And 'Snort it Up'....
Then One Day, While Have 'Intercourse' with One of His 'Many Whores'...
Something Warm Entered His 'Empty Core' And He Didnt Crave That Street Life 'Anymore'...
Months Later She Hit His 'Phone Jacc' Like I Dont Wanna 'Be Alone MaCc' and He Forced Out The Words [I love You] Even Though He'd Normally Never 'Condone That'...
She Held Him Down, Kept Him Drug Free, Touched His 'Heart And He Knew He Was Winning'...
So The End Of The End Became 'The Start Of a New Beginning'.....

[Joe MuGGz]

uck It.. I'll Pop It Off...

Topical GC Tourney Rd 3: “A Start Of A New Beginning”

I lay here old, dusty… cold, rusty.. Flow hungry.. Since Joe shunned me.. Im the soul of his Microphone.. Longing for the timeless poems he always sung me.. He rapped to me loudly all night, I was proud to be his mic.. He was hungry and driven, nothing clouding his sight.. Then one day he abandoned me, forgetting the love we behold.. Everytime he wrote a bar, I was the first one he told.. I watched battles turn to diss songs, which turned into tracks.. Tracks turned into mixtapes.. All while learning from scratch.. I never complained when he let wack catts grab me and rap.. What if some stranger grabbed your neck, and yelled.. How crappy is that? I loved when we would take a ride just to changed the back drop.. Me, Joe, & my homies Speaker and Laptop.. would recorded live cyphas right there on the back blocks.. And did a song on the spot.. if it was THAT hot.. But now Joe has a fam.. A young kid and all that noise has to scram.. From boy to man.. So getting employed was his plan. That was yrs ago.. I cried, but had to clean up my tears.. I spoke to Speaker, but he’s been sufferin a blown tweeter for yrs.. And LapTop is too old, he cant do no projects.. Until he gets his eyes checked, new OS, and medicate his virus.. This storage room is where I’m stored til doom, but my soul’s screamin for flow.. Suddenly, I hear some guys meet n greet and put the key in the door.. I hear one guy sayin he has skills just needs people to know.. “I got you” says the other guy.. Whos that speaking? I can’t believe it, it’s Joe!! He’s reaching in boxes, searching, shuffling through tools.. Everybody screaming “Grab me Grab me!’, fueled with something to prove.. Joe looks at me hanging here, sadly dangling on the wall.. He grabs me and say’s “There she is.. Here…just make a banger for me dog”.. The dude agrees.. stuffs me in his book bag and leaves.. Inside its: me, gym socks, text books and a bag of weed.. He rode a bike home and yo, dudes the truth! He spit the who way home like how MuGGz used to do.. He opened a door.. Walked down some stairs, and up a hall.. Entered a room thats full of red light and posters on the walls.. I see my old friends Speaker N Lap.. This is where they secretly sat.. They some sneaky ass catts.. But still I give em some dapp.. The boy sits down, starts reading his raps, sat me on a mic stand.. And good cus I need to relax.. He put on his headphones, cleared his throat, and plugged in my cord.. This is what I been missing.. A new beginning, and then he pressed record..



Gluck...

[padded cell]

i remember back when i was just a young boy
fresh out of school and I'm meant to get employed
but instead, i turned my head and chose to get deployed
being drafted like a dumb bastard i should have tried to avoid
i overlooked the killing description within the thrilling existence
the thought of it excited me, the romance of the war games
made me want to be john wayne, but now i scorn fate
wondering why i advanced on to the path through the wars gates
fuck all of this, it should be me your meant to believe
im a soldier with a reason to be absent without leave
left my hootch at night with anticipation, my heart was racing
pictured sam's finger pointed at me, like an accusation, for not serving my nation
go ahead, call me a yellow bellied coward
but like sam, you can point and accuse like you have a power
the views they shower, it aint a war crime
if we torture victims and cremate the infants
shoot the innocents and bomb the vietcong to giblets
builds a rage inside me i could explode this instant
i dashed like a shadow deep into the jungle
lashed at the overgrowth with a sweep and a tumble
with each of the fumbles, i could smell freedoms emissions in the air
the start of a new beginning, no longer imprisoned in warfare
up ahead i saw silhouetted figures, with conical hats
i ducked deeper into the grass than an animals attack
held my breath so hard i felt my lungs could collapse
and let out a roar as i pushed my foot in a booby trap
i heard a foreign scream, a rifle butt bashed my face
awoke myself in a daze inside of a massive cage
rose to my feet, cleared my head and scanned the place
i wasn't back at base, i was captured by the opposing side
now i felt foolish for following my own devoted mind
last time, i was a prisoner of war, this time, i AM a prisoner of war.. this is my beginning of a new life

[Joe MuGGz]

Ahhhh shhhhiiiieeet.. haha.. gluck fam.




i remember back when i was just a young boy
fresh out of school and I'm meant to get employed
but instead, i turned my head and chose to get deployed
being drafted like a dumb bastard i should have tried to avoid
i overlooked the killing description within the thrilling existence
the thought of it excited me, the romance of the war games
made me want to be john wayne, but now i scorn fate
wondering why i advanced on to the path through the wars gates
fuck all of this, it should be me your meant to believe
im a soldier with a reason to be absent without leave
left my hootch at night with anticipation, my heart was racing
pictured sam's finger pointed at me, like an accusation, for not serving my nation
go ahead, call me a yellow bellied coward
but like sam, you can point and accuse like you have a power
the views they shower, it aint a war crime
if we torture victims and cremate the infants
shoot the innocents and bomb the vietcong to giblets
builds a rage inside me i could explode this instant
i dashed like a shadow deep into the jungle
lashed at the overgrowth with a sweep and a tumble
with each of the fumbles, i could smell freedoms emissions in the air
the start of a new beginning, no longer imprisoned in warfare
up ahead i saw silhouetted figures, with conical hats
i ducked deeper into the grass than an animals attack
held my breath so hard i felt my lungs could collapse
and let out a roar as i pushed my foot in a booby trap
i heard a foreign scream, a rifle butt bashed my face
awoke myself in a daze inside of a massive cage
rose to my feet, cleared my head and scanned the place
i wasn't back at base, i was captured by the opposing side
now i felt foolish for following my own devoted mind
last time, i was a prisoner of war, this time, i AM a prisoner of war.. this is my beginning of a new life

[padded cell]

nice drop MUGGZ, digging the concept man, good luck fam lets get it!

[Wonderbred]

Uncival: Concept was kind of cliche, the idea of the thug/drug dealer cleaning his act up comes up pretty often. You pulled it off well, though. As always, your flow was on point, and it probably sounded the best out of the three. The imagery was pretty good, you used a lot of description. You did a good job of telling a story, and I thought the "I love you" line was especially hard hitting. The only real problem I had with it was its length. If it had been maybe 4-6 more lines, you probably would have won. Overall, solid verse.

MUGGZ: First of all, the concept here was really creative. Out of all the verses, you definitely had the most original, and I loved the first-person perspective. It almost reminded me of a kid movie in a way. The narrative was probably the best of the three. It was pretty emotional at the end, you captured the feelings of the microphone pretty well. I picked up on the flow eventually, although you really have to work on formatting if you want to make it much further. I enjoyed reading it, though.

padded cell: The approach you took was pretty original, although I didn't really see how it tied into the topic as much as the other two. You did a good job with vocabulary, and some of your descriptions and imagery were pretty hard hitting. You didn't really tie it all together as good as you could have, and the flow wasn't really there most of the time with the exception of a few good multis. The verse definitely had a lot of potential, but it could have been pulled off better. I also docked you for the end being kind of unclear, since I couldn't really understand whether he was a prisoner of war again and/or how exactly that marked a new beginning.

MVGT: M U G G Z
Runner-up: UnCival Eyez (really close)

[HIGHpothasis]

Upping

[Lockhart]

One's verse I felt did take an unoriginal angle, but he did an amazing job with the story-telling and put a different spin to it. One line definitely hit me and it really honestly sealed this as a great topical. Great multi usage and good job of not having the rhyme structure take over your topical.

Next verse I felt probably took one of the most original angles in a topical that I've probably ever seen. The buildup of going from one kid and seeing how successful that one kid was becoming to going to another kid and starting off another successful story was quite incredible. Almost as if you're hinting that the two people are father and son. Multi usage was great and it didn't take over this topical either. Great job.

Final topical gave me an angle that I'm going to be able to relate to quite soon. However, I felt like at times that you didn't clarify your story quite like you could have. I did get how he's having a new beginning as a prisoner of war, but what's his new beginning stemming from? Why did he decide to get drafted and what was he leaving? Rhyme structure here was a little sloppy at times, but it wasn't too messy as to where it wouldn't mess up the flow.

Overall? I've got to edge to UnCival Eyez, but it was really close between he and MUGGZ.

[Enfinite]

All three had dope stories. Uncival I felt yours was the most unoriginal, simply because the drug/alcohol topicals are all over the place. The story itself was written out decently but it was a predictable story and has been done before a lot. And Padded Cell story was a little more original. I just felt there could of been more in between, like more details. I felt like it was skipping around a bit and some of the inbetween details could of been there. But it overall I was able to relate considering I'm going to be a military man myself.
M U G G Z had the most original, and well thought out story to me. Overall his piece just stuck out, had the right components, and it was something I havent seen before.

MVGT: M U G G Z

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Upping for formatting.

[RULE]

counted

tbm