2013 GC: RD1 - Agonize Vs Theodore Grizzly - (Agonize Wins 3-1)

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Agonize Vs Theodore Grizzly

This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship

Rules
Verses are due Friday, November 8th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic
Practise Makes Perfect

[Theodore Grizzly]

Practise Makes Perfect:

Before i knew PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT, I thought RAPPING AINT WORTH IT, Im GRASPING FAMES SHIRT n its just LAUGHING PAIN HURTING, So i STRAP on a MASK of SHAME n CLASP on a PAST of BLAME, I thought i had HALF a BRAIN but realized i was on a TRAIN.. AIMED straight for the CELLOPHANE bounced back..

........an Im MORE INSANE outside in the POURING RAIN my CORE is STAINED not from the MOISTNESS but from the CHOICES of TOURING DRAINS looking for the VOICE-LESS RANGE that RANGS in my HEAD for DAYS while I LAY in my BED AWAKE DREADING that little SPACE that APPEARS when my EYELIDS SHUT SPEARS with VIOLENT CUTS its nothing but my OWN FACE, I need some CHROME BRACE to imagine Im SOARING LANES not a MONSTER with 4 INCH FANGS that wont hesitate to bite n MAIM just sick of the PAIN.. that MOURNING BRANGS it was a WARNING when MORNING CAME n I just try an REFRAIN to SUSTAIN this PLAIN MUNDANE CAMPAIGN, I knew i just needed SOMETHANG..

......So i hit the BOOTH n started PRACTICING a LITTLE BIT became more LITERATE n realized rap was more INTIMATE, You and your MIC just RIPPING SHIT with BRITTLE SPIT until my SIGHT wasnt IMPRISONMENT n my LIP SPLIT n bled like a BITCH who just had her WRIST SLIT, But now that my WOUNDS have HEALED n CLOSED Im SOOTHED n FEELING CLOTHED Im IMMUNE n REELING FROZE, SOON ill SEAL the VOTES a NEW MOON when I STEAL the BOAT an Ride that GALLEON HOPE for Miles to the VALIANT COAST, Im the STALLION that you CHOSE, even the BATTALION KNOWS im BATTLING my own PROSE n SADDLING lost SOULS in an attempt to Reach my Own GOALS....

This is a CERTAIN TIME where it dont matter the WORD or CHIME but Rather that I UNEARTHED the DIRT i had POISONING my MIND, Theyre now CURSING these LINES one VERB at a TIME SERVED in SPURTS to the VOICE WITHIN... my RHYME

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Agonize' Verse

A year or 4 ago (time sometimes soars, no?)
My life became bored so I picked up on Morse code
More so as a hobby but lord knows my sore throat
Was often foreboding with a few words or more spoke
Till it was more of a lifestyle, less of a poor joke

Im well aware that it’s practically nerdish
And I started off slow only scratchin’ the surface
but practice makes perfect
and I was assured that my practice was worth it
see, im a tactical person if a bit scattered and nervous
so I was sure that this would have some practical purpose
If I ever was the victim of some tragic occurrence

This was all before the accident happened
It was fast like a flash, the crash and the clashin’
Of metal on metal, the glass and the snappin’
Of bones that exposed through the skin left in fractions

It seemed like that was lighting fast
Now I can’t say what time has passed
But I’m entrapped within a body that declines to act
Despite the fact I have a mind intact
The signals won’t bypass the gap created when my spine collapsed

Some day’s family will fill my new home
Two tone flowers on my headboard laid there like it was a tomb stone
The doctors say I’m not responsive
They don’t have a clue though
As to why my blue cold eyes repeat a pattern as they move slow

Now my Morse code hobby will be
All I ever have to fill these
Days inside my fleshy grave where I still hear and still see
And until death takes my breath away my eyes move side to side to say
Kill me
Kill me
Kill me

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Upping

[ELOH STACKz]

Hmmmm, interesting reads. I felt Agonize's verse was put together a little better, but it lacked a certain umph... Maybe if you went into more details of the car crash or explained exactly who you were using Morse code with, I would've been more inclined to lean your way

Theodore went hard, he broke out the Dictionary for this one. Nigga was inner rhyming, end rhyming, double rhyming, Lol. His verse wasn't as structure though, which could've discouraged some fans from voting for you. But I think you wanted it more, & stayed on topic

Vote: Theo Huxtable

[Fidel Z]

Theordore: I already told u your verse was dope, i thought the rhyming was good and the concept was nice, however i felt like you could've went into more detail and you barely had no imagery if any. I thought your story was kind of cliche to begin with, but you executed it well, although i thought some of the rhymes weren't needed.

Agonize: Your verse was on point, I thought it was mad smooth, and flowed well as i read thru it. I enjoyed the picture u painted and the concept was dope. I wish I had but I've got nothing negative to say about it

Vote goes to: Agonize

[Joe MuGGz]

Theo: You provided a dope read homie. I loved the vocab and lyrical content. I notice you let that lyrical content take away from the picture you was tryna paint. At times I felt like I was just reading rhymes.. instead of tourney entry.

Ag: I like your piece cus you wasnt afraid to purposely lack on the some lyrical content.. you stood down lyrically for the good of the story.. The image was there.. dope entry.. great read..

MVGT Agonize

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Agonize Wins 3-1

[RULE]

added

tbm