Jam Jar (5-1) Vs SHEEP LORD (0-1) - (Jam Jar Wins 3-0)

[Hubert Cumberdale]

For anyone wondering, both of their opponents no showed them so I'm throwing them together in this one for a mixed topic battle.

Jam Jar Vs SHEEP LORD

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Jam Jar

http://th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/148/9/2/timeless_by_alex__v-d51du5i.jpg

Critical Race Theory

And the tick followed tock and the tock followed tick
And the kids wanna stop but they’re not gonna quit
Though it is not a lot and he’s not got a bit
He just gives what he got now he’s got what he gives.

Education are the jaws that trap us when we’re young
Like butter we lose all our shape, we melt upon its tongue
Formless we all merge into one, uniqueness melts to air
The norm is ‘heed that learning’s fun’ as if we’re meant to care.
‘Work hard’ is what they drill in us ‘believe, and you’ll achieve’
But look at those who win at life, you’ll see we’ve been deceived.

The black guy who served you your chicken and fries
All of last year he nurtured his literate side
Worked hard and left with a high level degree
A lot of hard work for five seventy-three ($5.73)
But he’s calm and complaint, he cowardly waits
For his boss to raise up his low hourly rate
And he’ll wait and he’ll wait for an age, looking glum
Coz like Sam Cooke didn’t say... change is not gonna come.

And the tick followed tock and the tock followed tick
And the kids wanna stop but they’re not gonna quit
Though it is not a lot and he’s not got a bit
He just gives what he got now he’s got what he gives.

The graduate tossed his blonde hair to the side
Groomed up and chiselled and face cream applied
The white shirt is ironed, shined shoes have been tied
Will this man get the job? – let his uncle decide.
Is employment fair game? I can tell you it isn’t
It’s built upon contacts and their nepotism
This guy messed up in school, failed all of his lessons
But face-meets not grade-sheets cement first impressions.

And the tick followed tock and the tock followed tick
And the kids wanna stop but they’re not gonna quit
Though it is not a lot and he’s not got a bit
He just gives what he got now he’s got what he gives.

‘Meritocracy’ they say, ‘success for the deserving’
But faced with the reality, the truth is more unnerving.
‘The cream it rises to the top’ but the metaphor is fuller
The cream describes not talent but a pigment and a colour.
The USA and England too, that system is the same
The whites on top, the rest are not and schooling is ‘the blame’.
It’s not ‘to blame’, the difference there is small but it is crucial
Poor tests grades justify the gap that means ‘business as usual.

Tick tock the clock is ticking, and the cycle starts again
The bitter fruits of business suits that fit for light-skinned men
Invigilators oversee the black hand write wrong answers
But the test has been invested in to stifle all its chances.

And the tick followed tock and the tock followed tick
And the kids wanna stop but they’re not gonna quit
Though it is not a lot and he’s not got a bit
He just gives what he got now he’s got what he gives.




Vs


SHEEP LORD

Message In A Bottle

Bottle messaging back this message these messages
This isn’t textual this is crematory melted down to its finest glory/
Holed up in cages let me rewind you back to pages
Written in old text Files I typed on old letterheads
I found next to eight severed heads in a duffle bag/
Suffering from muffler gases, I passed out with rags next to me
Covering my mouth and nose from the fumes, boom goes the next room/
Fire bombed entombed within my coffin fitted room
Wasn’t going to be my doom, so I hate to make it out/
Jumped outta second story window, hit the ocean
Thought I was deaded opt out in the cold with nowhere to go/
Swam to shore, sure I got an EGO BOOST, hated swimming with fishes
Sharks and deep drowning pools of death wishes, not how I want to go out/
So I kept my life above sea level, dance with the devil long enough
You develop a sixth sense and I don’t mean I see “dead people”/
I read people when I got back like envelope
The letter wrote, “you been evicted”/
I didn’t dictate orders, I dictate quarters
Had backs, hack those shacks like SHAQ/
The road maps lead back to the ocean liners
I just hit the deck and swam from shores
I wasn’t sure about like that lady swam to Cuba/
Tried sitting maps with a beach chair, sipping on Bacardi lemon
Head those planes fly over like computerized drones/
Back into reality like a dead phone with just dial tone
So I snap back and penned this letter full of adventure
And I want to wish you luck in all your endeavors
So here’s the greatest adventure my lover
I love you dearly see you at the dock, in December
This is my message in a bottle, hope you get this letter/

[Dono]

I'm on my phone so I'm not gonna write a huge expo. Apologies.

Jam I liked your story, felt it was written like a song but it fell well into a story with coherent parts. One of your best pieces I've seen.

Sheep I had a bit of trouble following your story and the wording wasn quite clear. Not a bad effort, I just would have liked to see the details and especially the transitions a little more clearly.

Vote to jam.

[Dysfunctional]

I'm not gonna go into that much detail so lets start
JamJar: The way you wrote it vocab and flow wise was absolutely stupendous. The message was clear and concise and i really connected with it and its a subject that has been done a few times but the way you did it was unique and really intrigued me. By a wide margin my favourite topical I may actually say the best topical I've ever read. Props it was wonderful.

Sheep Lord: It was hard to follow what you were saying. The flow and multies seemed scattered sometimes the end of lines dont rhyme with the one previous or afterwards. The topical as a whole was average it might have been a hard phrase to make creative but I think your dropped the ball pretty hard in my opinion. I haven't seen you're previous topicals so I don't know if this is where you're at with topicals or if you just had a bad showing. Either way you gotta step it up because I believe Jam Jar has a big edge on you in this category.

My Vote Goes To: JamJar

[HIGHpothasis]

Ok JJ: Wow. The Vocabulary And Delivery Was, Dare i Say Immaculate. Created a Great Scene and Delivered the messaged Well. There Were times Where I Was a Tad Thrown Off But For the Most part You Maintained Composure and Flowed The Entire Verse. Hats off To You My G. Im New To this Topical Thing But You're Talent is Definately Shown Here.

Sheep Lord: Honestly I had a Very hard Time Placing together the Pieces of Your Verse. I Could Tell Where You Were TRYING to Go With the Concepts But They Just Weren't Delivered Well. To Be Well in Topicals You Have to Have a Basis With Other Areas Of the 'Lyrics Arena' I Would Suggest More battles and More Elevation. But Your Efforts Are Precocious And Potential Is There To Be a Threat in the League.

My Vote: JamJar

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Jam Jar WINS 3-0

[RULE]

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