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View Full Version : CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Dirty Work (3-1) Vs Dono (6-0) - (Dirty Work Wins 5-4)


Hubert Cumberdale
10-25-2013, 03:36 PM
This match up is part of Ultimate Writer 1.
. . .
Main Event
Championship Match
Dirty Work Vs Dono

http://i39.tinypic.com/2w7edeo.png

Topic: http://www.tubefilter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/shots-of-awe-600x369.jpg

Good Luck.

Hubert Cumberdale
10-25-2013, 03:39 PM
Dirty Work

http://www.tubefilter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/shots-of-awe-600x369.jpg

Ipso Facto Polydipsic


Mind (fuel)

I was born with a seemingly unquenchable thirst.
Terrible penchant unearthed... Reprehensible birth...
My desire for truth showed no potential at first,
Devoid of answers with any sensible worth.
Every question a curse... Every lesson perverse...
In time my mind's design was destined to burst.

This desire soon grew into obscene obsession.
A keen aggression marked the replete inception
Of the grip it had on my complete attention.
Such a deep infection... Never free from question...
This need for knowledge was a demon's weapon.
The unknown left my values unclean, unvested.
Any confidence I had, the unseen opressed it.
I would become God, or forever be unrested.



Body (fire)

My adulthood saw the failure of various quests-
All unwary attempts to just bury the pest.
I went to college and passed their hilarious tests.
I joined a cult and witnessed the scariest sects.
Lost in the world, I became a nefarious wretch.
These precarious depths had prepared me for death.

I hid in the gutter, never deficient of wonder,
'Til I met an old man at the bridge I lived under
And regaled him with insipid visions of numbers.
We spoke, at length, of my dispicable hunger,
And how my famished brain fell victim to plunder.
He cackled upon hearing each pitiful blunder.

He turned to me and said, "you'll find your way tonight.
"You may not believe that what I say is right,
"But I have one answer that will erase all plight.
"It is costly, and you can not name the price.
"It can take your life to the grave despite
"The fact that it will give you great delight-
"It'll tame the fright- have your brain alight.
"Close your eyes and I'll grant you your fated sight."

The explosion from my mind was bright and fiery!
Planets erupted from the fight inside of me.
The light aspiring... The night expiring...
I knew everything! No more trite inquiring-
Witnessing existence in sublime entirety,
I drank it all in. 'Twas the finest winery.

No longer in the universe amid galaxies-
I was the universe. Nothing could challenge me.
As I watched the Earth, I saw my true majesty,
For my thoughts controlled everything that was happening.
Instantly causing miracles and catastrophes,
My will was the brush, space-time was the tapestry.
I held worlds in my hand, I would rule with tenacity.
I was God! Existing with infinite capacity!


Soul (ashes)

I awoke under the bridge, filled with alarm.
I looked down... the needle was still in my arm.



Vs


Dono

http://www.tubefilter.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/shots-of-awe-600x369.jpg

Knowing Everything is Nothing

Bullies beat him brutally, he bruised with broken bones
So he hid in novels, stories and open tomes
They say knowledge is power, he sat in college for hours
To learn it all, big or small, and abolish the downers
Not enough, he yearned for information, his sole desire
Till brain cells burned from inflammation, couldn't control the fire
Each scrap devoured, he must have the power, brainiac
Cut social ties, once a hopeful guy, now a maniac
He searched through research till he stumbled upon a spell
Three words in free verse that would open spawn of hell

'Be completely learned, yet humanity gone and quelled
It will cause harm to self, disarming health all too well'

His skepticism didn't let him listen, sorcery is false
Supposed to be appalled yet forcefully he calls
"I rise from the ashes, flame as the sun, phoenix
Hear my cries and my actions........Ego Sum Deus"

Nothing. They must be bluffing, how absurd an act
No way those words could pack wisdom on a perfect track
Then it hit, like a ton of bricks or a hundred kicks
Something clicked and he has never been wondering since

It came at once, but he comprehended in pieces
Those magic syllables had not pretended their thesis
Our galaxy a travesty compared to the majesty
Of the full universe compacted into his faculties
Arrays of anomalous atomic configurations
Elements ignoring known ionic considerations
Physics proofs in harmonious truth, unbending as laws
Through perfect mathematics no contending or pause

Then humanity, all experiences known to man
All emotions, all devotions we've been shown to span
Birth days, first place, some toys, love, joy, finding a soul mate
Passion, satisfaction, happy, whole, grinding till goals made
Empathy, ecstasy, equity, smiling, behold grace
Which masks the fact the whole race keeps climbing a slow pace
Blinding our cold place, not all is bright and beautiful
Also destroy ourselves and fight as juveniles
Can't escape rape, shame, guilt, gains built from others crushed
Death, loss, flesh lost, those that never feel their brothers' love
Hellishly unleash jealousy, kill another one
Or ravage like savages to steal and plunder em
Felt it exactly the same as individuals
The positives, plus the pain of all the miserable

Good, evil, neutral, the capacity was endless
But without improvement, humanity is senseless
His growth was gone, personally, nothing more to aspire
Knowing it all; the gasoline and torch to his pyre
What kind of meaning is this? He knew, truth beating his bliss
If man has all insights the species will cease to exist
While our primitive state seems a vicious vile prison
Full disclosure ends in nonnegotiable Nihilism

Phoenix
10-26-2013, 03:34 PM
Damn I'm really impressed with Dirty work. Dope verse, the flow was imo flawless, I really liked the story and you had nice transitions. It was really a nice read. Great job.

Dono: Your flow was flawless too. Really dope vocab, your whole verse was dope as fuck.

Both did very well, I just had one edging with his vocab and his creativity, felt the story was better than his opponents.

Entertaining battle.

My vote goes to Dono

Babylon
10-26-2013, 08:04 PM
Dirty Work: I got really immersed in your verse, you had great, scratch that amazing rhymes which usually take away from the topic a lot but you stayed on point and I loved the whole mind/body/soul format.

Dono: Instantly liked the story, I feel as if in the beginning your rhymes kind of lacked a bit. I loved the whole "I am God" in latin spell too, then your rhymes kicked up very nicely and the story came into shape. I was really into how you explained what infinite knowledge would be like and all in all just enjoyed the verse.

My vote goes for Dono, all in all I just enjoyed his more. And his was also much longer, so there was more for me to get into.

Hubert Cumberdale
10-28-2013, 07:15 AM
Dirty Work, maybe the biggest jump I've seen from good to great in topicals over the last 5 years. You have completely nailed something a lot of people struggle with; vocab. You don't go overboard. You've got us completely understanding what you mean, while at the same time still having your vernacular in an elevated state. The flow was crazy and I eventually was going out loud. I especially liked the italic'd wording because I was even able to include that by the end. The rhyming was solid. It started off a little slow for me, as the story wasn't quite as good at the beginning, but when you got to the second stanza it really picked up. Something I didn't expect was for you be able to tie it all up as well as you did, and you did a great job of that.

My favourite line was:

"It is costly, and you can not name the price."

Dono: The lyricism and flow was crazy in this. You really took a lot of influence from poetry and meshed it perfectly with rap, which is the root description of what a topical is. In the story however, there were parts I failed to click with. You have this bullied kid who reads books. He finds a spell or something, says it, gains all knowledge, and then kills himself. The previous mention that he was bullied just disappears, and you barley touch on his mental state with this new gain. I felt that you should have connected us to the character instead of the sentiment a big more. I really liked the idea though, and you said it might have been a little bit too philosophical at first, but I think you stay a little bit away from the border line and I was easily able to keep my grasp on everything.

Overall: Probably the best topical I've read on LB. Both had crazy rhyming and flows, but still managed to keep it what it is supposed to be all about. I found that I enjoyed a piece a bit more, and that's why I edge this way.

Dirty Work GMV

Enfinite
11-01-2013, 11:02 AM
I'm gonna keep my vote short.
DW- I was actually really impressed with this. Vocab, flow, structure, storyline. It was overall a great read. I also appreciated your use of vocab, which as EtH said, very few Topical heads execute it properly.

Dono- Another read I enjoyed. Same as DW, you had the flow, vocab, structure and storyline. The only part I really disconnected with is when you started naming all the different experiences known to man. I see what you were going for but that personally detached me from the story.

Seeing you both in this form excites me for the Topical GC

MVGT - DW

Denton
11-01-2013, 12:22 PM
This was a hard decision to make. Both had unique approaches to the topic. Both had phenomenal Lyricism, vocabulary and topic relevance. This was honestly a toss up and I've changed my vote several times.

MVGT Dono

Joe MuGGz
11-01-2013, 12:54 PM
This was a great battle.. I went back n forth reading both a few times. I love the level of lyricism here.. both had flow and vocab.. to me it boiled down to complexity.. and for that reason I leaned this way..

DONO gets my vote..

The Ghost of Freak
11-01-2013, 03:16 PM
UnEtH , Dirty Work , Dono :

Both yall were on point honestly. This is a hard choice.

Dirty Work: I thought your structure, vocab and story telling were really amazing. I felt captured, but with respects to the picture topic…. good shit. I also appreciated how you separated the story into clear vignettes. This is very, very impressive in my opinion. I felt the weird universal vibe within the narrative, which I think gave you the edge by connecting those two elements.

Dono: I felt this was strong, but not your strongest ever. I felt the ambiguity of the picture came out as generalized philosophical points within your piece…. which is an interesting interpretation that I can appreciate. I do think you could have more clearly connected the narrative you began and ended with a subjective perspective from a character to the more generalized philosophical points. For that reason I felt it was a bit ungrounded and lacked a bit of clarity in the narrative side. I am always impressed by your vocabulary. I thought the structure and flow was good, although not the best I've seen from you. Overall still a fantastic topical.

MVGT Dirty Work

RESPECT and PROPS 2 BOTH.

-FREAK- Vote Fair Back

Sean Cron
11-01-2013, 03:57 PM
I'm probably not suppossed to vote on this, but I want to give props to both emcees, especially dirty work, his topical was more narrative and broken up perfectly with each line of each paragraph summing something up or making a twist. so my vote would go to him. both were dope though, peace

Hubert Cumberdale
11-01-2013, 05:44 PM
Dirty Work Wins 5-4

NEW TOPICAL CHAMPION

RULE
01-04-2020, 03:09 PM
TBM
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