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View Full Version : CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: InCizion (2-2) Vs Dono (5-0) - (Dono Wins 5-0)


Hubert Cumberdale
09-03-2013, 01:41 PM
This match up is part of The Inkwell PPV.
. . .
Main Event
Championship Match
InCizion Vs Dono

Topic: http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/128/7/b/shanty_town_by_joakimolofsson-d4yx69h.jpg

Good Luck.

Hubert Cumberdale
09-03-2013, 01:46 PM
InCizion

http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/128/7/b/shanty_town_by_joakimolofsson-d4yx69h.jpg

Obviously all my fams poverty is used as a dark weapon
Cautiously our plans of sovereignty is our scarred essence
Wrongfully it has monstrosities just to chart this vessage
Solemnly I sit & plan obnoxiously hopin 2 depart 2 heaven
Ominously it can possibly teach us all that marred lesson
Unlawfully thugs scam flawlessly just to start a message
Falsities are ran by man like their only the starred legends
Honesty is damned & a oddity like it’s the Art in question
Commodities are scant & a odyssey with hard aggression
Monopoly’s can bring monotony & fuel all of our tensions
So our
Village is filled with pilferage from peasants and residents
Our children have killed with no hesitance or any prejudice
The President is unskilled his effectiveness is aggressiveness
His lack of attentiveness drills so our directionless is infinite
Benefits are milled & so our pretentious bliss is our nemesis
Were resenting its build as time spent on his own emphasis
I reminisce, thrilled to fish for immigrants and present tense
The poors imprisonment is billed as a legitimate instrument
His regiments are skilled at killing vigilantes with ill incidents
It’s time to implement a rebuild & our limitless indigenousness
Because
Were all farmers, shopkeepers, thugs, & or prominent doers
As the confident abusers of the system like a protestant looter
Were occupants & roofers, proud people and confident movers
Monument spewers make us all look bad to the dominant rulers
We complement commuters & people like the incontinent producers
Populist manoeuvres are made by all those incompetent bruisers
Ominous accusers blame us as the ones like consonant boosters
We use proximate humor to defuse any of these communist intruders
Our continents future hangs by those that can consummate suitors
As consonant jewellers we have no technology opposite of computers
Were forever
Living in shacks, & dilapidated streets as societies lacerated peeps
Our exasperated feet are tired from providing me evaporated meat
Were agitated & meek, trying hard as anxiety hits exaggerated teeth
This elaborated heat is killing quietly like it’s our aspiration & belief
Our aggravations beat but still we silently let our acclamation speak
We all eat unsaturated leafs and a variety of contaminated wheat
Our life’s like unsaturated heaps trying to flee from animated creeps
Our applications sleep proprieties enslave our emancipations weak
The poors admirations bleak those of notoriety are adorations thieves
Accusations creep civil unrest is sliding deep & our avid nation grieves
So we
As a people must take a stand & demand help from the powers of hate
Our upheaval was planned as a scam, fuck those who devours our fate
Those deceitful assholes are damned as we plan riots to shower & take
We are peaceful but mad that this sad that this place empowers our state
The Governments evil and we can’t stand any sham that’ll scower or rape
Those who see us as not equal are ran by a man who is a coward and fake
Time has come
The hours are lethal as we shut down anyone racist
Our encounters are needful, we struck down all rapist
We are not unequal, fuck all clowns, losers & natives
It’s time to be the steeple, our luck compounds our faces


Vs


Dono

http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/128/7/b/shanty_town_by_joakimolofsson-d4yx69h.jpg

The Lonely Fisherman

A man dreams of swimming as a fish because his life's failing

Aquatic adventure shattered by his wife yelling
"You have to leave!" And honestly he was half relieved
With thoughts of: 'Everyone is always mad at me'
The man was sad to see, mid-forties, out of shape
Tragically, he never made a proud escape
This had happened before, he made no stand at the door
She kept screaming things at him he planned to ignore
Sagging softly, he sullenly shuffled out to a small stream
Basically bawling, assuming 'If needed, they'll call me'
But they never would, last statements said for good
Carved into his cranium like letters set in wood
Years of previous nights he'd had grueling grievous fights
With his tedious wife, not at all what he needs in this life
Too dumb, too weak, too fat, too slow, why did I date you?
You clutz, you freak, you hag, you know the children hate you
Repeatedly played through his mind, a common occurrence
Brainwashed by how often he heard this; he's probably worthless
Forgotten his purpose, but has a piece of paradise
In fishing, he finds that catch, release is very nice
Today he needs to see some bites, it's mind calming
Any slight, small thing to offset his blind sobbing

Flashback - The Words After He Left

"It's an emergency, danger!" Yet he didn't slow down
To listen. He zones out when the tones loud
Heartbroken, hurt, just assumed he should go now
And didn't realize there was no one in the whole town
As he sulked through those empty streets not a soul remained
Such a lonely day, overcast, the world cold and grey
Family posited abandonment, didn't know half of it
Saw him as inadequate but he was so passionate
They were his reason for living, forget the tired strife
Loved his children deeply and even his viper wife
Set on brighter sets, but the depression was crushing
Dealt daily with aggravated aggression, lacked loving
But they left home, along with the rest of the village
The man, solitary, alone, left to be pillaged

Flash Flood - The Man is Swept Away

Delusion of swimming as a fish because his life's failing
In awe of the rainbow of colors those bright scales bring
He's been slammed mercilessly against solid objects
Calculations of survival bring squalid prospects
He doesn't notice the icy water invading his lungs
Or bone breaking contusions, ensuring his days will be done
No, he's part of a school of fish, is he such a fool to wish
Those in the pool are his instead of the truth? Cruel abyss
In these visions, he's full of bliss with companionship
And harsh realities of his existence haven't hit
The callous current drags him to his last destination
His mind is at ease, he can finally rest complacent
Love, respect, belonging, joy, now all of it's right there
His dour death was a dream, his life was a nightmare

The Ghost of Freak
09-03-2013, 10:08 PM
Both of these were great in different ways. I want to expo more, but sorry to be stupid, how do you vote? EtH Also, I want to start doing more topical shiz, so hit me up boss.

---------- Post added at 10:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:43 PM ----------

I looked at other PPV threads for voting examples, so I will vote now... EtH

InCizion I believe you showed your own truly unique style and great use of word play, but I believe the narrative becomes a bit convoluted and off topic due to focusing on multis in certain parts. I thought that it was lacking certain aspects of the topic picture by focusing too much on an assumed government and people that aren't in the picture. The editing was nice.

Dono has a very clear narrative divided into stages about the one man in the picture who is fishing. He includes the river and the abandoned nature of the village all with plenty of good rhyming and word play. I feel Dono did a better job of capturing the topic. I believe Dono's use of wordplay and multis is solid, but I believe his strength is in developing a storyline making him a strong topical writer.

RESPECT TO BOTH. You guys rocked it.

My vote goes to Dono.

Hubert Cumberdale
09-05-2013, 08:27 PM
InCizion, I see that some slight downtalks on your lyricism in previous weeks sparked something in your here. Your goal was to show off the force you can be when it comes to rhyming, and you more than outdid yourself here. The only downside, and you've heard it a lot, is I still find it to be a slight stutter when you don't match up the syllables on the rhyme schemes. Other than that, you did an excellent job on rhyming whilst following the topic.
The only part that might be costly to me is that you didn't really focus on the storyline. You took somewhat of the impoverished part of the picture, and nothing else from it, and wrote a generic enough tale of how the government is putting the locals down.
I think this is a drop which will be difficult as fuck to beat because of your lyrical presence, but if you can attach this new lyricism to the topic and meaning you had in previous weeks, it'll be game over.

Dono, at times I slightly lost the topic. I'm getting that the guy is a passionate fisherman, who does it to avoid his wife who does his head in. One day when he returned from fishing, his family was gone. Then...there was a flash flood and he died? With the topic itself, I wasn't really connecting tbh.
Lyrically it was a very strong drop. If I had to liken the way I write to someone else's, it'd probably be yours. You have a simple yet complex rhyme scheme going on, which isn't overdone in frequency but wouldn't be underwhelming either.
I think your shining moments were your use of poetic techniques. You had some strong imagery and wording. The use of "viper" was quite a powerful description imo. The alliteration was rocking throughout the entire piece too.

Overall, this is VERY hard for me to split. InCizion impressed lyrically, while Dono impressed with his writing. Neither really had the greatest topical usage for me in this one.

My vote is really going to be decided because my winner was also quite strong in his opponent's best area.

Dono GETS MY VOTE

lllllllllllll
09-05-2013, 10:06 PM
Like they said, this is basically lyrical vs skill..
InCizion, yours flowed well but you left topic multiple times. In ANY topical battle you NEVER suppose to leave off topic. The slightest drift can lose the audience. You definitely locked the lyrical category down & the vocabulary as well but try not to over to it to where it looks like you are just throwing random words up out of a dictionary that rhymed.

Dono, You nailed the topic but i can't really say i was COMPLETELY feeling the way it was delivered. Some parts of your scheme i just felt na... he could've written that better.. Theres not much to knock at here though cause Both of you had great pieces with a few errors. I know every piece of work doesn't suppose to feel the same & I've read other drops from both of you. Maybe the feel of bringing something different was in affect.... Anywho..

MVGT:Dono

Denton
09-05-2013, 10:16 PM
InCizion

Your vocabulary and lyricism was great. However, Multiple times your words kind of left me hanging when it came to the topic. You left topic so many times I had to reread to make sure I didnt miss anything. Your lyrical presence here was good but you really need to stay on topic.

Dono

Your verse all around was great and well rounded. The imagery you illustrated was Very good and i cannot find any flaws with it. Your verse sucked me in gradually and you painted a great picture with your words.


MVGT Dono

Wigsplit
09-06-2013, 02:23 AM
InCiz did super with vocab and flow, and his story was well told. I think Dono's story pulled you in more tho, and he also did great in the other catagories. I think his simplicity took it for me, easier to enjoy. Dope from both tho, ya'll did real good.

MVGT Dono

Hubert Cumberdale
09-06-2013, 09:47 AM
Dono WINS 5-0

RULE
01-04-2020, 03:57 PM
tbm
.