EtH (0-0) Vs Punk (0-1) - (EtH Wins 3-0)

[Hubert Cumberdale]

This match up is part of The Inkwell PPV.
. . .
Undercard Match Up
EtH Vs Punk

Topic: http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/145/9/7/scorched_earth_by_arcipello-d5118nz.jpg

Good Luck.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

EtH

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/145/9/7/scorched_earth_by_arcipello-d5118nz.jpg

There’s no smoke without fire, there’s always something within,
And when any plates separate, the eruption begins,
The plume puffs into the sky ‘til none is left uncovered,
Bringing lightning bolts and spawning endless thunder,
Once a dormant disaster, clouds cannot clear the ash,
As lava floods down a mountain of appearing cracks,
A rip-roaring river, and the colouring red,
It’s current occurring from the current events,
The barrage leaves all in its tracks, battered and bludgeoned,
All destroyed but one tree which stays standing above it,
It branches out, until it’s floating past the birds,
To evade the backdrop of a molten massacre,
In a war torn warzone; this tree stands defiant,
Avoiding vicious advances of volcanic violence,
This tree is forgotten as the magma worsens,
It’s roots embedded, yet can’t scratch the surface,
It sleeps next to the hearth but doesn’t take a hit,
Each and every cherry blossom still remains unsinged,
Still remains uncharred, it seems fire retardant,
Keeping out of the flames, and it’s trying it’s hardest,
The depths below are too deep a fall,
And these natural causes are the least of all,
The separation of plates is no reason for this,
So it’s as easy as this;
As long as this tree will exist;
It will reach in the mist to feel the breeze of the wind,
So as Mother Nature collides hard with Father Time,
Despite the fight it stays standing fine,
Like a stalagmite; its remaining a cliff hanger,
Surviving the divorce of its mother and its father.



Vs


Punk

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/145/9/7/scorched_earth_by_arcipello-d5118nz.jpg

Pardon this letter

If we can take this passioned clift to clutch, and have a grip
Most of us would have the gift we thought was once extravagent
but how the habit had a swift and now it's more inhabitant
puts the meaning in grevious work and pass the challenges.
That shutter sound goes up and down but seems to know what balance is
so it's presentable no matter how bad or lamentable.
Unfortunate pen and fold'ed paper so now my sins control
tell me how these branches of life, are so cementable.
Torrefy the boring trust the foreigns with your minerals
it's lava dropping aquafying knowlege then it centerfolds
The smoke can rise and roast your eyes no time for being literal
but can we create what we abbreviate through these river stones.
Crash and peel, damn it's dark along these active massive hills
my conscience is too strong turned a mag away from mass appeal.
If we can gladly pass along the palace than we have a deal
old times can also die tragically bad but what can tragic kill?
the sky's the limit, who knew it came with flying pigeons
insane, those eyes can vision the same, as my ambition it's so beautiful.
Problems get solved whenever your involved in my intentions
evolving to high commision by pausing the lighter wishes
impossible montages i stood in that pic through abolishment
this cinema lifetime can get demolished if it's polished clips.
Struggle for the muscle must aknowledge who you conquer with
Or fall in love with hatred as it replaces the monument.
A vacant heart can't be replaced and places cannot be reclaimed
endangered but don't worry cause the pain reliever leaves me sane
when those clouds abuse you deepely creates feces and you wonder
how you stride apon the lives along the line? it causes pride
to fall inside you ball your eyes out calling "why!" your jaws is wide
and often cry but time was limited............................then you die

[Revan]

Close one here, EtH i thought the piece was only 'fine', as it approached the end i was really feeling like the piece, whilst nicely written, was just too without purpose to be effective. The ending with the father / mother concept was your saving grace, but it felt like too little too late to take the piece into the 'great' catagory. whereas your ending saved the verse, it could of MADE the verse. Punk the stand-out element from you was the flow, which was very smooth. I felt the content was a bit aimless at many times tho. The cohesion of the verse was too stilted for me. Strange because i felt one verse under-achieved whilst the other over-achieved. All in all im going with the verse i felt was better overall, all elements considered.

MVGT: EtH

[Jam Jar]

This is definitely a hard topical to write, given that the image doesn't present you with any people. Writing from a more human angle from a narrator position is a good idea, but Punk's fell short. The language in Eth's also had some flaws, although it was much more readable.

EtH - The times where you used some poetic techniques really lent themselves to your topic. I'm thinking of lines like To evade the backdrop of a molten massacre, In a war torn warzone; this tree stands defiant, Avoiding vicious advances of volcanic violence. It's effective alliteration that added to the imagery. Eth seemed like he was capturing a snapshot rather than carrying a story - this is fine to do, but if I'm honest, it lost my attention and it needed me to come back to it a few times to finish it. This doesn't take away from the quality of it - some of the best writing isn't always immediately readable (James Joyce, Bible, Quran, Burroughs) - but nonetheless, this ended up leaving my flaccid.

Punk - I was against this from the first four lines, which simply don't make sense. The grammar is scatty making it difficult to follow - for example, you can't write 'more inhabitant' as inhabitant is a noun. Sorry to come across as teachery, but it doesn't make sense so it's hard to get past that. That wasn't an isolated problem too. EG - this cinema lifetime can get demolished if it's polished clips. I've just tried reading it again, but it is in desperate need of either some proof-reading or a complete rewrite.

I've seen good stuff from Punk before but this one, for the reason's above, is a complete No-Brainer.

My vote goes to EtH

[Black Book]

EtH like RULE/Revan said, I thought your piece was just ehhh because it was boring and just a ton of imagery until the ending. The father/mother metaphor was dope and tied in very well to it all, making the piece come together. That turned your piece from mediocre to pretty good real quick.

Punk your flow was nice and the rhyme scheme was different than the normal which I liked. You did seem to rant a little and some of the wording was a bit questionable. The overall piece wasn't bad; you definitely have the tools to be dope in topicals, but you just didn't fully execute here.

Vote: EtH because he had the more complete piece.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

EtH WINS 3-0

[RULE]

TBM
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