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View Full Version : XplicitKontent (1-0) Vs BloodAngel (0-0) - (XplicitKontent Wins 5-2)


Hubert Cumberdale
08-20-2013, 06:03 PM
This match up is part of The Inkwell PPV.
. . .
Undercard Match Up
XplicitKontent Vs BloodAngel

Topic: The Last Thing I Saw

Good Luck.

The Law
08-20-2013, 06:53 PM
XP: I definitely like how you played your verse. It had some decent emotional depth to it and at points I could feel what the characters were feeling. The style of your writing from her to him/ vise verse was written well. There were times your vocab was decent, and there were other parts were it lacked. I also thought you could have stepped up a bit on the flow end of things. I thought the flow was pretty bland throughout the piece and some lines took a bit too long to get to the 'rhyme scheme'. Scheme was a bit simplistic in area's also as that would go towards the parts that lacked some vocab. But overall there obviously was some things I enjoyed in your verse and other things I mentioned would be worth working on in your next battles.

BloodAngel: TBH I did not like the approach or the topic you brought. I didn't feel it was too creative of an idea to write and kinda just through everything together and just tied into the topic with the last sentence. Your character didn't see anything memorable or meaning.. he saw the canopy falling on him before he died. On the plus side, although I didn't like your story or approach the progression was nicely put together. You had nice vocab and flow. I thought you shined in the descriptive and imagery areas quite a bit in certain parts of your verse. I just didn't get any meaningful feeling from your verse tbh.

MGVT - BloodAngel - Overall this was a tough decision for me. Lol not becaue xp is crew, but I thought his verse shined in the emotion aspect and he took a very creative approach to writing it, which I enjoyed. But although I did not enjoy BloodAngels approach and outcome was bland, I can not discredit that his overall writing between the verses was much better. I thought his verse showed that he brought better vocabulary and shined a bit better in the descriptive areas. His verse flowed a bit better for me also. So in this case, I did have to go with the verse I enjoyed less because I did feel his verse was better written. Goodluck to both of you. Stay up.

Wigsplit
08-24-2013, 12:44 AM
XK: I found the story to be a bit cheesy, but thats just my opinion. The multies and flow could've been better too. But it held attention, and it had emotion to it. If that song was the topic I think u guys got cheated lol. Unexpected twist at the end, but her whispering was too much for me lol. Good attempt at the love tragedy tho.

BloodAngel: I found the story to be a history lesson. It rhymed better, but it didnt grasp attention as much, I guess cuz every war stories the same imo. But you did a good job at piecing everything together. Could've pulled some more emotion tho. Idk jus my opinion.

Mvgt: XK, I think his story was a lil more original and although he didnt rhyme as well, it held my attention more. Both did a good job tho, good battle guys.

Hubert Cumberdale
08-25-2013, 11:30 AM
XplicitKontent, because you wrote this to a beat, I found it VERY hard to follow the flow at times. I found myself reading quite quickly to get through it because the slower I go, the more little flow problems and stutters I'd come up against. The rhyming was quite basic too.
I think the clear highlight was the awesome job you made of showing us the protagonists. I instantly got what you were doing with the paragraph format, and I could clearly see that it was guy, girl, guy girl etc. You did brilliant with that. The story was quite good, and a pretty nice way to take the topic. One thing I didn't like was the graphic imagery at the end. I didn't feel it was warranted in a piece like this. The imagery of the rain was great though, as he mentioned it, and she drove in it. It wasn't a focal point, but gave us imagery of a bleak scene, almost picturesque.

BloodAngel, you seem to have an immediate flair for topicals with good imagery and wording. The rhyming wasn't bad and I flowed with it well. The biggest downfall to me was the generic enough story. You see so many topicals about war, and especially ones where the main character dies at the end, so I might have liked to see a different twist on this one. I think war would have been the easiest route to go down, but something a bit more abstract would have been better imo. You didn't really get to add too much emotion in with the style you went for. You described the scene, and what you saw, but not specifically how you felt. Perhaps some more protagonist thoughts on what he was observing could have been good.

Overall, this is VERY close. I think one was technically better, and has more in their skill set, but with the actual stories I was more engrossed in one and that's really the name of the game.

XplicitKontent GETS MY VOTE

InCizion
08-27-2013, 11:17 AM
XK......

I don't know if crew votes count so you can disregard this vote if you think it's not fair... but XK...

I don't like how you formatted your drop at all... Formatting is huge in my opinion and really helps the writer with the flow of the piece and the reader. Your lines are super stretched (and this is comign from a person who can have some stretched lines at times)..... I liked the ending of your drop and was hopeing for a twist in the end because the first portion of your drop was a bit boring.... It rhymed well enough though... Also if you use a beat make sure you pick one without lyrics.... it's distracting when your trying to read your piece....

BloodAngel

I've never been a fan of set ups before reading the piece. IE: Call for War. 1941. I feel if the piece is discriptive enough you can get this info out... Hip Hop artists don't have that luxury of setting up a drop like this and so I judge it that way.... Your formatting was much better and your rhyme scheme was nice..... Your topic was more vivid....

Personally I think both writers should have the same topic to see how each attacks it. I think BloodAngel got the edge topic wise..... but overall I feel BloodAngel had a better piece overall.

Vote BloodAngel.. I don't DR.. if I liked XK more I would have voted for him... I have already voted against crew and that's Chloro and AC's... so it's up to you guys if you want to accept this vote...

Jam Jar
08-27-2013, 11:19 AM
This is a tough one to call because personally I find them a both to be a bit 'meh'.

XK - It was hard to detect a flow for it, and some of the ideas were really clearly shoehorned in and artificial. The voice was kind of fake and disconnected, like having a character talking about her own 'silky long black hair'. The characters were really 2D and nothing much happened. There were some moments of good rhythm, but not consistent enough for it to form an actual flow to the whole piece.

BloodAngel - Although the idea was stronger, having so many little sections seemed to restrict you from going into much descriptive detail about any of the events. It kinda forced you only to touch the surface level, which was a shame, as the idea could have been developed well. I think you had the similar problem to XK, in that your characters didn't feel particularly real. The experience you are describing is one which evokes way more emotions than you got on the paper here - it's always a risk when writing out of your comfort zone.

I find this, as I said, very difficult to call. Honestly, I didn't really like either of them, and I don't ever just write up on people's work and hate on them. I'm going to go with XK because it had slightly more atmosphere to it, although the concept of BloodAngel's was stronger.

My vote - XplicitKontent

Aggo
08-27-2013, 12:38 PM
A lot has already been said accurately so Im not going into huge detail about why I'm voting. Like JamJar said I wasn't immersed in either verse but I felt XK was a slightly more entertaining read and I'm giving my vote to him.

Winner XK, or Malgus or somethin

Revan
08-28-2013, 04:56 PM
Man tho... this is by far the closest topical ive read in a long time. I felt like Angel had the more impressive ending, whilst Malgus had the more consistant piece. Both stories were intriguing but one felt more fleshed out and therefore relatable to me. Both were a little basic in places, i felt Malgus's back and forth narrative was quite nice. The shortness of Angles chapters hurt the story, making it hard to really commit to. Nice spar here but i have a winner.

MVGT: XK / Malgus.

Hubert Cumberdale
08-28-2013, 06:46 PM
XplicitKontent WINS 5-2

RULE
01-04-2020, 03:59 PM
tbm
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