FAME
03-16-2013, 01:35 PM
Here's why...
I Can Predict Them fake Stories That This SUCKAS-GON-SAY
Can he really? Did he predict anything even remotely close to what I said?
How I Stuff Tissue In My Condom Cus the RUBBER-WONT-STAY or How My MOTHER-DONT-BATHE..
The tissue in the condom bit gets my approval. As you know, I'm a huge fan of Jokes over Bars. That was funny. The mother bit did not need to be there. Totally unnecessary.
That Comedic shit the Reason a Caskets where this FUCKERS-GON-LAY
Would be a nice start to the set up if the rest of the set up was anywhere near decent.
Basically “Funny should be a Household name” Cus you DOUG: YA-OWN-GRAVE!!!
I actually sorta like the punchline. What the fuck does "Funny should be a household name" mean though? Are you saying that I'm funny and everybody should appreciate that? This is not a compliments battle.
That was a whole three lines wasted. I didn't use a single joke in the entire battle so it was irrelevant. The punchline could have been nice but the setup was terrible.
One word to describe your WHOLE-STYLE-IS-MISERY
Nothing much to say about this. Basic start to a scheme.
You Got Old School Punches with LOW-DOWN-DELIVERY
So first I spit nothing but jokes, but now I have old school punches? It's either one or the other. Also, what exactly IS a "low down delivery?" Is he saying that I'm a mail man in the canyons? I can't figure it out.
You wouldn't Obtain a “Volume Of Hits” If You was MOTOWN-WIT-IMAGERY
I wouldn't obtain a volume of hits? Is he assuming that I'm so broke that I couldn't travel to HMV and purchase NOW 52? Also, what exactly IS "motown with imagery?" A sculpture of Marvin Gaye? A collage of Stevie Wonder pictures? I have no idea. Either way, the two do not relate.
So Until “Fame Is Banned” Everyone I “Beat'll: GO-DOWN-IN-HISTORY”
The 'famous band/beatle' wordplay was nice, I'll admit that. However, what has me getting banned have to do with him winning text battles?
Overall, this very weak scheme was almost saved by some nice wordplay at the end. The fact that to create the wordplay by using nothing short of irrelevance really spoiled it, though.
& For You Im “Viewin Da Liver Power” w/ a out RULERS-WORLD-PLANS
Now, the wordplay in this is 'view and deliver power.' What the fuck is he talking about? "rulers world plans" means absolutely nothing to me. That isn't the worst of it though. He is viewing the liver power? Is he a doctor now? Is he gonna decide whether or not alcoholism has finally got the best of me and recommend surgery?
So Wanna Get “Punch Drunk?” I'll give DUDE-A-CURLED-STANCE
Okay, so he IS using an alcohol theme, albeit, very badly. So he's calling me a drunk and asking if I want to get punched? Nobody want's to get punched. That was a stupid question. He will give me a curled stance? Does he want to show me how to position myself whilst playing giant air hockey?
By “swingin arms til he leaves wasted” like a HULA-GIRLS-DANCE!!!
Won't lie, this was nice. Wording isn't amazingly great, but, for someone who words things like Dissizit usually does, it's not bad at all.
Overall, a slightly better scheme than the last. That's not saying much though, as both were poor. Carrying the 'alcoholic' scheme was a nice idea but could have been executed so much better. The opener to the scheme was dreadful, though. Slightly saved by a badly worded but nice punch at the end.
Fuck a “Jig Saw Tape” This SPOKEN-TORTURE-IS-GOLDEN
Does he have words made of precious metal? Is that what he's trying to tell us? If that is the case, what does it have to do with the SAW movies and what has he got against them?
So what I'm POSTIN-SLAUGHTERS-OPPONENTS when addin “Assault to The Flow” no OCEAN-WATER-COMPONENTS!
He used 'a salt/assault' wordplay. I need not say anything more on this line.
“Crossing Me?:” You won't even win a “TAD on the Poles” KNOWIN-ALL-OF-THE-NOTIONS
The start to that line would have been a good set up to what was almost a semi decent punchline coming up next. The multi at the end means absolutely fucking nothing. Just wasteful, filler words to carry the scheme.
Ima Course you couldn't “Totally Pass” Like ROADS-WIT-FROGGER-APPROACHIN!!!
Well, this was by far the worst thing I have ever read in my life. Like I said in the breakdown of the last line, this could have been semi decent. He carried over the "crossing me" and "tad on the poles (although doesn't really give the desired effect of the word 'tadpoles' it intended to.)" They go with the whole Frogger scheme he went with quite nicely. However... He used "totally pass" as a wordplay for 'Toad'll leap past.' Unless he talks like Officer Doofy, that does not work. Is he an actual retard with a speech impediment? It's the most forced I have ever seen wordplay. The type of shit that would make Lizman proud. Also, Frogger is not a toad. You only have to know the name to see that.
Dissizit should be ashamed of himself for this one. For someone that everybody seems to rate quite highly, he really let himself down here.
Them Guns u got “never bust” they must suffer from BLUE-BALLS-OF-PAIN
I don't have any guns and even if I did, they wouldn't have testicles. One of the most pointless things anybody has ever said in a battle.
& Ima get this “Male Boxed Up” For them Gay Rumors YOU-STALL-TO-CLAIM
I'm not sure what any of this means. He's gonna get a male boxed up? He's gonna request that his letters are delivered to the upper floor to his house? I don't know. So I 'stall' to claim gay rumors? Doesn't that mean that I don't claim them? Was there any point in saying that?
So “Address'n a Situations” The Only Way You'll hear U-HAUL-AH-FAME!!!
Again, what the fuck is he talking about? I am supposed to be helping The Situation from Jersey Shore relocate in this bar? If that is the case, it has nothing to do with anything, ever. If it's not the case, it still has nothing to do with anything.
This may have been the most pointless scheme that anybody has ever written in a text battle. How can somebody actually consider this guy good at this shit after a scheme like that? What part of that held any relevance, or, better yet, coherence?
I Can't Picture you being TRAGIC-IN-ONE-WAY
He "can't" picture me being tragic? I'm pretty sure that's a compliment. Not very battle-esque.
So you'd Only Be “Responsible for Lines” if you TRAFFIC-&-SLUNG-YE
I would only be responsible for lines? I'm not a fucking assembly monitor. Also, what does being responsible have anything to do with not being tragic? The word 'so' at the beginning of this line is obsolete.
You Lack PASSIONS-WHAT-SOME-SAY
It's really not, though. Is it? Who has ever said that? Nobody.
But If You don't wanna Get Killed u Better use “Common Sense” & not AFRICAN-FUNG-SHWAYY!!
Well this was just terrible. "Common Sense/Calm Incense" was a nice idea but nothing amazing. The term is actually spelled : Feng Shui. It may be true there there are African practices of Feng Shui, but, there are no use of incense candles or sticks during these. Incense mainly stems from Eastern Asia and parts of Israel. Not from the continent you claimed.
This whole scheme was weak. Firstly, he started off with a compliment. Then 2 lines of absolutely nothing and then he ended it by looking very ill informed and uneducated.
This is win #2 on my BIG-STREAK-MISSION-TO-GAIN
I get where he's going with this line but it was worded very poorly. Just a forced multi to fit a terrible scheme.
& My Team Got Arsenals to leave u 6FT-TWITCHIN-IN-PAIN
So he's basically saying that he'll get me killed so much I'll still be alive enough to move and feel things? Really?
So wen I Give u a “Quarter Of Ours” It'll be ya “15MINS-OF-FAME!!”
First of all, 15 minutes of fame bars are so played. I've battled under this name for years and I've seen it done a million ways. This being the worst of them. Secondly... What the fuck does "give you a quarter of ours" actually mean? The only thing I can make of it is that he's talking currency. If that is the case, there should have been a build up to that for it to hold any relevance.
Another terrible scheme. Starts with a forced multi, moves on to being very contradictory and then ends with something that doesn't make sense with a played concept. For a closer, that's poor.
Overall, it was a very weak verse. There were a couple of glimpses of something I would consider up to par for somebody with his reputation, albeit an unwarranted one, but, for the most part, the relevance of his bars was nothing less than diabolical. The wording of things is not his strong point anyway, but he did a little better in that aspect on this occasion. Saying random words to make a wordplay and punchline, that hold no relevance to anything, is something a lot of people on this site need to stop doing. This verse was a classic example. Also, some of the things he said were just plain stupid.
Because the flow and the multis of the verse were of a nice standard, this deserves around a 5 (not bad) on the LetsBeef voting system.
Some of you are in the FVC and should be ashamed for voting for him.
I Can Predict Them fake Stories That This SUCKAS-GON-SAY
Can he really? Did he predict anything even remotely close to what I said?
How I Stuff Tissue In My Condom Cus the RUBBER-WONT-STAY or How My MOTHER-DONT-BATHE..
The tissue in the condom bit gets my approval. As you know, I'm a huge fan of Jokes over Bars. That was funny. The mother bit did not need to be there. Totally unnecessary.
That Comedic shit the Reason a Caskets where this FUCKERS-GON-LAY
Would be a nice start to the set up if the rest of the set up was anywhere near decent.
Basically “Funny should be a Household name” Cus you DOUG: YA-OWN-GRAVE!!!
I actually sorta like the punchline. What the fuck does "Funny should be a household name" mean though? Are you saying that I'm funny and everybody should appreciate that? This is not a compliments battle.
That was a whole three lines wasted. I didn't use a single joke in the entire battle so it was irrelevant. The punchline could have been nice but the setup was terrible.
One word to describe your WHOLE-STYLE-IS-MISERY
Nothing much to say about this. Basic start to a scheme.
You Got Old School Punches with LOW-DOWN-DELIVERY
So first I spit nothing but jokes, but now I have old school punches? It's either one or the other. Also, what exactly IS a "low down delivery?" Is he saying that I'm a mail man in the canyons? I can't figure it out.
You wouldn't Obtain a “Volume Of Hits” If You was MOTOWN-WIT-IMAGERY
I wouldn't obtain a volume of hits? Is he assuming that I'm so broke that I couldn't travel to HMV and purchase NOW 52? Also, what exactly IS "motown with imagery?" A sculpture of Marvin Gaye? A collage of Stevie Wonder pictures? I have no idea. Either way, the two do not relate.
So Until “Fame Is Banned” Everyone I “Beat'll: GO-DOWN-IN-HISTORY”
The 'famous band/beatle' wordplay was nice, I'll admit that. However, what has me getting banned have to do with him winning text battles?
Overall, this very weak scheme was almost saved by some nice wordplay at the end. The fact that to create the wordplay by using nothing short of irrelevance really spoiled it, though.
& For You Im “Viewin Da Liver Power” w/ a out RULERS-WORLD-PLANS
Now, the wordplay in this is 'view and deliver power.' What the fuck is he talking about? "rulers world plans" means absolutely nothing to me. That isn't the worst of it though. He is viewing the liver power? Is he a doctor now? Is he gonna decide whether or not alcoholism has finally got the best of me and recommend surgery?
So Wanna Get “Punch Drunk?” I'll give DUDE-A-CURLED-STANCE
Okay, so he IS using an alcohol theme, albeit, very badly. So he's calling me a drunk and asking if I want to get punched? Nobody want's to get punched. That was a stupid question. He will give me a curled stance? Does he want to show me how to position myself whilst playing giant air hockey?
By “swingin arms til he leaves wasted” like a HULA-GIRLS-DANCE!!!
Won't lie, this was nice. Wording isn't amazingly great, but, for someone who words things like Dissizit usually does, it's not bad at all.
Overall, a slightly better scheme than the last. That's not saying much though, as both were poor. Carrying the 'alcoholic' scheme was a nice idea but could have been executed so much better. The opener to the scheme was dreadful, though. Slightly saved by a badly worded but nice punch at the end.
Fuck a “Jig Saw Tape” This SPOKEN-TORTURE-IS-GOLDEN
Does he have words made of precious metal? Is that what he's trying to tell us? If that is the case, what does it have to do with the SAW movies and what has he got against them?
So what I'm POSTIN-SLAUGHTERS-OPPONENTS when addin “Assault to The Flow” no OCEAN-WATER-COMPONENTS!
He used 'a salt/assault' wordplay. I need not say anything more on this line.
“Crossing Me?:” You won't even win a “TAD on the Poles” KNOWIN-ALL-OF-THE-NOTIONS
The start to that line would have been a good set up to what was almost a semi decent punchline coming up next. The multi at the end means absolutely fucking nothing. Just wasteful, filler words to carry the scheme.
Ima Course you couldn't “Totally Pass” Like ROADS-WIT-FROGGER-APPROACHIN!!!
Well, this was by far the worst thing I have ever read in my life. Like I said in the breakdown of the last line, this could have been semi decent. He carried over the "crossing me" and "tad on the poles (although doesn't really give the desired effect of the word 'tadpoles' it intended to.)" They go with the whole Frogger scheme he went with quite nicely. However... He used "totally pass" as a wordplay for 'Toad'll leap past.' Unless he talks like Officer Doofy, that does not work. Is he an actual retard with a speech impediment? It's the most forced I have ever seen wordplay. The type of shit that would make Lizman proud. Also, Frogger is not a toad. You only have to know the name to see that.
Dissizit should be ashamed of himself for this one. For someone that everybody seems to rate quite highly, he really let himself down here.
Them Guns u got “never bust” they must suffer from BLUE-BALLS-OF-PAIN
I don't have any guns and even if I did, they wouldn't have testicles. One of the most pointless things anybody has ever said in a battle.
& Ima get this “Male Boxed Up” For them Gay Rumors YOU-STALL-TO-CLAIM
I'm not sure what any of this means. He's gonna get a male boxed up? He's gonna request that his letters are delivered to the upper floor to his house? I don't know. So I 'stall' to claim gay rumors? Doesn't that mean that I don't claim them? Was there any point in saying that?
So “Address'n a Situations” The Only Way You'll hear U-HAUL-AH-FAME!!!
Again, what the fuck is he talking about? I am supposed to be helping The Situation from Jersey Shore relocate in this bar? If that is the case, it has nothing to do with anything, ever. If it's not the case, it still has nothing to do with anything.
This may have been the most pointless scheme that anybody has ever written in a text battle. How can somebody actually consider this guy good at this shit after a scheme like that? What part of that held any relevance, or, better yet, coherence?
I Can't Picture you being TRAGIC-IN-ONE-WAY
He "can't" picture me being tragic? I'm pretty sure that's a compliment. Not very battle-esque.
So you'd Only Be “Responsible for Lines” if you TRAFFIC-&-SLUNG-YE
I would only be responsible for lines? I'm not a fucking assembly monitor. Also, what does being responsible have anything to do with not being tragic? The word 'so' at the beginning of this line is obsolete.
You Lack PASSIONS-WHAT-SOME-SAY
It's really not, though. Is it? Who has ever said that? Nobody.
But If You don't wanna Get Killed u Better use “Common Sense” & not AFRICAN-FUNG-SHWAYY!!
Well this was just terrible. "Common Sense/Calm Incense" was a nice idea but nothing amazing. The term is actually spelled : Feng Shui. It may be true there there are African practices of Feng Shui, but, there are no use of incense candles or sticks during these. Incense mainly stems from Eastern Asia and parts of Israel. Not from the continent you claimed.
This whole scheme was weak. Firstly, he started off with a compliment. Then 2 lines of absolutely nothing and then he ended it by looking very ill informed and uneducated.
This is win #2 on my BIG-STREAK-MISSION-TO-GAIN
I get where he's going with this line but it was worded very poorly. Just a forced multi to fit a terrible scheme.
& My Team Got Arsenals to leave u 6FT-TWITCHIN-IN-PAIN
So he's basically saying that he'll get me killed so much I'll still be alive enough to move and feel things? Really?
So wen I Give u a “Quarter Of Ours” It'll be ya “15MINS-OF-FAME!!”
First of all, 15 minutes of fame bars are so played. I've battled under this name for years and I've seen it done a million ways. This being the worst of them. Secondly... What the fuck does "give you a quarter of ours" actually mean? The only thing I can make of it is that he's talking currency. If that is the case, there should have been a build up to that for it to hold any relevance.
Another terrible scheme. Starts with a forced multi, moves on to being very contradictory and then ends with something that doesn't make sense with a played concept. For a closer, that's poor.
Overall, it was a very weak verse. There were a couple of glimpses of something I would consider up to par for somebody with his reputation, albeit an unwarranted one, but, for the most part, the relevance of his bars was nothing less than diabolical. The wording of things is not his strong point anyway, but he did a little better in that aspect on this occasion. Saying random words to make a wordplay and punchline, that hold no relevance to anything, is something a lot of people on this site need to stop doing. This verse was a classic example. Also, some of the things he said were just plain stupid.
Because the flow and the multis of the verse were of a nice standard, this deserves around a 5 (not bad) on the LetsBeef voting system.
Some of you are in the FVC and should be ashamed for voting for him.