PDA

View Full Version : The Black Book vs. KasperX


Black Book
01-12-2013, 08:02 PM
Topical Battle

The Black Book vs. KasperX

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1pz5yu7T61qipetto1_500.jpg

Line Limit: No More Than 60 Lines
Voting: Anyone Can Vote if They Explain Their Vote. First to 4 Votes Wins or 3-0 KO.
Deadline: Post Relatively Soon


Good Luck!
KasperX

Dean
01-12-2013, 08:41 PM
Check?

Black Book
01-12-2013, 09:09 PM
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1pz5yu7T61qipetto1_500.jpg

Chapter I: Flower of His Eye

"Jessica, you are the flower of my eye. You are what determines my day & night - despite the power of the sky."
"You can make my face shower in the light. You can make me coward in a fright. When I'm not with you, every hour is a fight."
"You may not love me, but do I fret? No, for I haven't found a reason not to indulge each blue eye yet."
"If anything can change me, I am surely making you my bet."
Brad looked upon young Jessica like she was the human form of Heaven.
The day that he lost her would be a record-shattering storm of legend.
For her love & affection, he felt he was simply born to let in.
But Erica disagreed. She looked at his head, & saw each horn's projection...

Chapter II: Monster of Her Eye

"Brad, why do you perform these heinous acts? Give me the oddest stares, make the strangest laughs?"
"You know wrong from right, yet you break even the most dangerous pacts."
"You're a monster in my eye. A monster whose saneness lacks."
"You think we are in love? I was a beautiful flower, but you disregarded this & left my garden dug."
"I went from sprouting with life to the mentality of a street hardened thug..."
"You are not my boyfriend; you are my step father! You took everything from me except water."
"So I stay alive but I'm still slowly dying. My mom sees there's something wrong, but I won't speak; I'm only crying."
"She can't figure out what's happening to me, but I know she's trying..."
"But you're delusional and the monster of my eye."
"Every time I'm with you, I want to know how much longer till I die..."

Chapter III: Look How the Angel is Dressed

"Jessica, I am on my way back home. We can spend a quiet day at home."
"I bought the house, but you make that home!"
Brad gets home, walks inside, & screams, "Jessica, where are you!? Your mother is at work. Let's do something fun. Maybe watch a cartoon?"
"Or we can make a movie again, & you can be the star, too!"
No answer comes... "Jessica!? Come out to play. I have no patience, not one ounce today!"
Still no answer, but Brad inhaled an odor. It resembled a mixture of gasoline and sulfur.
It was the type of smell that bends a man over.
Flames erupted around Brad in a blinding explosion. The house was ablaze; his demise was set into motion.
Brad was able to look out a window into the backyard amidst the commotion.
He erupted in rage, "Jessica!? Look how the Angel is Dressed!"
"She did this to me!" He shouted before he collapsed & the gases strangled his breath.

Chapter IV: Look At the Angel of Death

Jessica had bought the flammable materials, gone home, & put them in it.
For she couldn't handle Brad & his every day abuse for one more minute.
He had thought of her as weak, as timid. As a possession, as a dimwit.
So she put on her favorite dress & protective mask. Then she set out to complete her objective task.
Brad came home. She pulled out a lighter & tossed it, creating an effective blast.
She watched as the monster of her eye burned alive. Because even though she was no longer a beautiful flower, she yearned to thrive.
She heard him shout, "Look how the angel is dressed!"
She adorned a smile as the gases strangled his breath,
And shouted, "Look at the Angel of Death!"

RakishHeir
01-12-2013, 09:49 PM
her chemical eyes hid behind a shallow mask of blind
it's funny how we need to hide our faces just to breathe sometimes
she didn't remember the war but she knew it wasn't right
it's funny how a child can be more right then an adult sometimes
her father died for a cause that left a thousand others blind
sometimes a bullet fired can be brighter then the sunshine
she didn't remember the war but she knew it wasn't right
it's funny how a child can be more right then an adult sometimes

in a six cornered world, made of circles n' doors
it's hard to be a girl when your purpose is war
she was seven when she first seen Gods judgement
and asked if all the Jewish children went to heaven
she often wondered what she'd say to other kids her age
who flipped pages from a bible that wasn't the same
people talked about freedom but only preached from a cage
she realized something was wrong but never knew it could change
because change was for the devil, or at least they would say
for every dollar that we spend another person is slain
at least we won the game, or continue to play it
she with drew to her mind to rewind the only way she could save it
the external rescources that she needed to live
didn't even exist.. she felt so dead as if to even live was a myth
they said that life was a bitch.. a term she heard so often
behind her mask she forgot about the chamber.. it took being placed in a coffin to realize that she was God all along

RakishHeir
01-14-2013, 02:27 PM
The Black Book

me vs you???

Black Book
01-14-2013, 06:44 PM
Jimmy Dean™, you posting?

Dean
01-14-2013, 10:51 PM
No, my bad I got caught up.

Black Book
01-15-2013, 10:02 PM
Alright. Jimmy is out.

RakishHeir
01-15-2013, 10:12 PM
good luck man, glad you posted and in return you made me step up and reply as quickly as I could to show you the same respect.

---------- Post added at 10:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:11 PM ----------

and I'm not sure if they vote, but any votes from pulse or mr felon won't be counted if that's ok?

they have personal issues with me.

Black Book
01-15-2013, 10:40 PM
Doubt those two will vote but alright.

RakishHeir
02-09-2013, 03:18 PM
bump any votes for this?

Boss-MC
02-11-2013, 08:11 PM
structure and story were so vivid and clear, similies were great and flowed nicely. has to b black book in my eyes altho most were present with kasper as well just not to the same level. good work fellas

-Dru-
02-15-2013, 04:54 PM
BB your verse was sick bro. I loved the storyline and the imagery was brilliant. I don't normally like how people set out a topical the way you did but in that verse it worked. I think you should be or complex with your rhyming, that's all. Overall fucking dope.

KaperX your verse started slowly but then picked up. I thought your idea was good but seemed to trail off a little before ending abruptly. Again more complex rhyming I think would have assisted and a little more length in your verse with a bit more description to paint the picture.

Overall vote to BB

RakishHeir
02-15-2013, 10:49 PM
thank you guys appreciate your time to vote!

RULE
01-05-2020, 06:08 AM
added

tbm