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Jack Swagger
12-14-2012, 04:50 PM
Inside I'm cold, warmth is a memory of this summer,
He was only twenty with parents who tried to fix nothing,
I have a sick stomach and I still can't make sense of it!
I tried to be cleansed of it,
But the thought of him makes me tense again.
I talked to you online just the night before,
As soon as I got the news I cried harder than I ever cried before.
But why'd you succumb to the depression? I rode the same street,
In the same car, same petals, same seat.
Then I heard about Amanda Todd, she was a lost one too,
She made the headlines but when I saw her, I thought of you.
You're memory lives on dog, keeps smiling,
I'll keep spitting, move forward, keep shining.
You have yet to see the best from me,
Evan, you pushed me forward when I could only step back,
Rest in peace.

Erupt da Monsta
12-14-2012, 06:34 PM
i liked this, wish it was longer, but your imagery is on point, you have a way with words, i would work on vocab, multis, other than that youre golden my nigga... keep it up

Jack Swagger
12-15-2012, 02:27 AM
You'll be getting plenty of these from me, I've got a lot of venting to do ;)
Coming next, Reflection's Pt. 1.

Erupt da Monsta
12-16-2012, 02:48 PM
ait bet look forward to it no doubt

~SHINIGAMI~
01-23-2013, 07:42 PM
Great Emotion In This Piece Famo, Add What B.M Said With A Tad Of Complexity...Lookin' Forward To Reading Reflections...