Suicidal Thoughts

[NelSyn]

My memories makes me, my greatest enemy, felonies, commited, makes me, the fucking best emcee? Drinking Henessy, thinking to myself, about all my sins, & everything I've done, ouch.. have you ever had thoughts of Suicide, flowing through ya mind? Actually tried, kissed the nine - but just didn't die? Backstabbing friends make me feelin' like I'm crucified, cannot find any peace in this life of mine.. I am my only guide, people say it's do or die. No one knows my struggle & whoever says that they do, can have their words crumble. I do not mean to mumble, I do not enjoy trouble, I am not a fucking gangster, but that doesn't mean that I don't hustle. I was born into a life of misery & poverty, raised to be a killer of anybody who talked to me, only care about the gun, like a robbery, dreams too make it big one day, like the fucking Lottery. Insulted whenever spoken to like it was mockery, even though most of the time it was always somberly. Things ain't working the way they supposed too, I got a lot of friends, but no one that I'm close too, when it comes to shit, I come up lucky like a horse-shoe, but when beef comes my way, it's like a never-ending course, dude. I regret, so much of the fucking shit I've done, I regret ever even bothering to lift the gun, I regret, even meeting you on that very faithful day, because now I am hateful in every way..cannot trust women, cuz all they do is wanna play, blame the men, for acting this fucking way. Acting like it's our fault for the way the children are, that's why I stick to the script & just kill the bars. No one knows my life, please never fucking claim ya do, & you wanna say I'm fake cuz I dont Aim the Too'? Well I'm the same as you, just a man trynna put food on the table, living hand-to-mouth, mouth-to-hand, rude w/ the fables. People assume to be great, you gotta be a G, even though behind those jail bars, it's hard to see...it's hard to be, & impossible to make something, I am just a normal fucking man, and I promise I dont hate nothing, but it's time for me to nut up, stop bitching or shut up all I know is my life summed up, in a few fucking words.......it's fucked up.

Feedback appriciated. :cool:

[Baker V]

That is some deep shit, I have felt like killing myself in the past, but somehow I got over it, I don't fucking know, but sick ass shit, original

[Teek]

I just peeped this. Shit should have been a cypher drop, not wasting away on a forum post in the back corner.

I've been there. nic plated Taurus 9, I ended up sending her off w a last kiss before breaking up n saying fuck it, cuz I need something new after deciding to keep going. When you get to the point when you're calm n collective making that decision n not just pushed by emotions, it's time to just step the fuck away. It was a wake up call, but needed. I can face down anything now n not be fucked with it. Why fear anything when I beat myself?

NelSyn it was a nice drop. I always appreciate people dropping some reality into this site. It humanizes this place. You painted the imagery well and did your thing. Respect.

[Dexter3]

Very nice man. i keep telling myself "I know it ends in suicide"

this made me think, ya know..?

[NelSyn]

Thanks fella's.. appriciated. I worked on this, and was going through a tough time.. :high:

[J u s T C]

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