Black-Book vs. Dono - Exhibition Match

[Dono]

Black-Book vs. Dono
Black-Book

House rules apply. Any questions, contact me.

Check ins are due Never
Verses are due when I get mine done....
Lines: 16-42

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o7ZsqrzfuwE/TSxNATIvSWI/AAAAAAAAAHg/ITg8JYbuYSM/s1600/themazeshebreathes-935x640.jpg

GOOD LUCK!!

3-0 K.O or first to 5 votes

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending[/QUOTE]

[Black Book]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o7ZsqrzfuwE/TSxNATIvSWI/AAAAAAAAAHg/ITg8JYbuYSM/s1600/themazeshebreathes-935x640.jpg

Sisters Of The Sea

There once was a tale of two sisters who resided in the sea.
It was a tale that all sailors recited to the tee.
One sister was the daughter of God, & the other, the daughter of Satan.
The identity of the mother had been forgotten since the time of the cavemen.
Yet, their personalities didn't mirror their father's.
Sailors far and wide were all told to beware daughters.
Satan's watched over them; blessing them with fair waters.
God's whipped up cruel storms; she never spared slaughters.
Resembling normal sisters, they constantly bickered.
And if arguments erupted, storms certainly triggered,
Causing natural disasters, is what the people simply figured.
Then one day a fleet of ships accidentally passed through their waters.
The sailors thought the tale a myth; they didn't beware daughters.
A horrendous mistake; a blunder of the highest degree.
Fore to avoid a crisis at sea, insight is the key.
God's daughter saw them coming, and she giggled in delight.
Under a dark cloud, she turned towards her half-sister who sat in the light.
She proclaimed, "Sister watch how they tremble when I send them a strike!"
She waved her hands creating massive waves and dark clouds;
Preparing ocean graves with shark crowds.
The sailors screamed, fearing the waters & heavens.
They had only heard of these type of slaughters in legends.
But now they knew the truth of the tale that bothers the reverends.
But Satan's daughter could no longer bare to see more blood shed.
She exclaimed, "No more men in the sea bottom's mud dead!"
With fury, she grabbed her half-sister by the throat.
Pronouncing, "These men and their ship shall stay alive to float,
But you on the other hand, shall not survive my choke!"
She dragged her half-sister deep into the sea.
She knew God's daughter deserved death and her father would tend to agree.
So they traveled to the depths of the ocean, and admist the flight,
They both sighted a frightening abyss of light.
But as Satan's daughter felt God's persist to fight,
They arrived in Hell where Satan waited with a grin on his face.
He said, "Well, well, well. I believe you've lost your father's honest grace."
God's daughter replied, "God loves all his children. You know how the song is laced..."

[Dono]

Strugglin with this picture.....


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o7ZsqrzfuwE/TSxNATIvSWI/AAAAAAAAAHg/ITg8JYbuYSM/s1600/themazeshebreathes

They were twins, who both fell in love with the same boy
He broke both their hearts, so neither one could claim joy
There, bent and feeble, they decided all men were evil
Never love again, prematurely end a sequel
Instead, they devised a plan to make males suffer
Channeling their victims hurt onto their failed lover
Gorgeous, soft eyes with hair of jet black, went on attack
Enticed countless individuals and never checked back
They would talk in sultry riddles to bait the innocent
Lead them around in a lusty maze that spanned infinite
Countless left impotent to the power of seduction
Few could navigate their labyrinth, fewer could function
Over years, their talents grew to legendary status
An encounter with these two meant necessary madness
Great heroes and masculine figures fell insane
All knew they left behind a long winding trail of pain
Angelic voices that would melt you to hear the sound
Their curves are where fears are found, around them, tears abound
What isn't known is that they drown in a lake of sorrow
And hope to claim their lost love's affection on the morrow
They share their grief easily, yet claim no joy in action
It's an act for visibility and the boy's reaction
Though it was years ago, both hearts are still plenty sore
The boy who breaks two hearts is to blame for many more

[Wigsplit]

I think Dono was smoother and quicker to the point, wasnt as colorful with imagination, but was real shit and took the cake for me. BB had a very good story, the ending was cool, but wasnt as powerful imo. Some of the lines dragged a lil bit too, imo. Not takin nothin from anyone tho, i read both a few times, both were dope, but Dono shined more to me. I cant see the voting system, so if this dont count, ill jus come back lol. But Dono has my vote. Dope shit from both.

[Black Book]

Vote counts. It's hard to get enough votes to close a battle so we'll take pretty much any type of vote.

[IV]

Wigsplits vote counts

Voting Rubix

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Dono - Slightly more interesting and held attention.
Vocabulary - Dono - Nice use of vocal, Black-Book was slightly too repetitive.
Topic/Meaning - Tie - Different angles, quite creative from both.
Storytelling/Progression - Dono - No room to get lost, got to the point faster and held attention.
Emotion - Tie - Not a clear winner here.
Imagery - Black-Book - Clearer imagery.
Poetic Techniques - Tie - Niether used a technique that stood out enough, Book used repetition but IMO, not in the correct way.
Ending - Dono - Book; I don't think your ending worked out as well as you may have thought, I know you could have done better.

MVGT - Dono - Short and sweet, didn't drag, didn't go off track, nice concept that was executed well. Black-Book you were more creative, but I think there were too many flaws and too much repetition to get you the win on this one. Good battle.

[RULE]

added

tbm