Mind Fuck vs. Dono - Exhibition Match

[Dono]

Mind Fuck vs. Dono
Mind Fuck

House rules apply. Any questions, contact me.

Check ins are due Never
Verses are due
Lines: 20-30

http://earthlandia.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/MotherEarth.jpg

GOOD LUCK!!

3-0 K.O or first to 5 votes

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[Dono]

http://earthlandia.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/MotherEarth.jpg

The Mountain Goddess

She was their sole deity, their protector, they respected her
Because of her, hearts arose; their art and prose reflected her
All of society crafted around her benevolence
With daily prayer regiments to express their sentiments
Worship is simple when there's physical proof provided
They all saw the mountain; literal truth inside it
Only one place to check to give her grace respect
The ridge revealed the outline of her face and neck
Her features etched in such a divine manner
The villagers all knew they had a benign planner
Her renown was global, yet while they enjoyed her valor
Their goddess was immobile and devoid of power
Luckily, almost none of them knew the secret
Entrusted were the high monks because few could keep it
Back to the deepest eras of human history
To explain the source of this illusion's mystery
Centuries ago, during an earlier society
Before piety, expression was created excitedly
Some apt to perform music, others told stories
Some crafted great sculptures to relive old glories
This mountain was engraved as a tribute to wives
True meaning lost, it found ways to contribute to lives
Over time, one man's great project was misinterpreted
A god read into the art form of a personage
Her reign grew via the people; they added rules and wrath
A doctrine created out of half-beliefs which fooled the mass
But none if it was real, not a single speech or talk
Yet they all still worshipped the useless preacher's rock

Mind Fuck

Good luck duke.

[Mind Fuck]

http://i1266.photobucket.com/albums/jj532/mindfuck30/MotherEarth.jpg

Life Beneath

Emotions of stones speak ages from her mountain Built Eyes
the aroma of faith dwells just beyond her face in the lightly Filled Skies
natures beast cushion against her bosom pushing out from the Hill Side
She's transmitting a Lost Translation frozen in her Rock Formation
Thousands of Years waterfalls left the maiden Shrouded in Tears yet she Watched with Patience
centuries past, the Renascence eventually lapsed then finally she saw the Man From Below.
She thought years back when her hair Danced in the Snow through the icey mist she struck a Glance of a Pose.
Paniced she Froze, Hands now were Closed........ He Ran to her Nose climbing fast thinking "If I collapse.." *slip* "If I could Land even Close!!!"... .. . .. Did the wind pick me up? shoulda been Stranded Fo Sho.. Ay what the fuck blame it on luck cause aint no such Thang as a Ghost...
not thinking much of it he set up Camp on the Coast, pondering on his brush with death swearing he felt a hush of breath but he had heard that story before and didn't fall for the Trance of the Hoax butt his thoughts change forever as he adjusts the Lamp on his Boat as he realizes the reflection of the shells on the beach dwelled were her feet that you could see below the shore on the Sand as it Floats...
Paddling Fast as the Tide Went he then contemplated whether to go Back to the Island Unaware that our earthly Aphrodite was a Pacifist Giant Dealing with deep rooted pain that made surrounding waves Crash When She's Crying with a thunderous thump that shook Half of the Thailand and spilled Glasses in Ireland...
Firm yet feeble he went Towards the Shore, Halfway through the maidens Pouring Storm he had to start using Oars as Boards. Onward with hands he went through the water attempting to Force this Course but his movements got heavier than any Fortress Door from Mordors Fort... Then a shift in the tectonic plates occured and our travelers Fortune Soared ot the constellations and Orbits North.
Her hands made of Molten Stone Her nails were shells picked meticulously from the Ocean Coast, The roots below Mold her Bones. It's said she turned to stone waiting for her lost love spending ages to Know he's Home.. Mid summer she shimmered with a winter lust of the Coldest Snow Emotions morphed to Frozen Hope, below her bossom a dozen Snow-Men Spoke of how for the first time in centuries appeared her grassy wide Open Throat. Mysteriously bubbles rose on the opposite side where whales mate and Dolphins Go as a Chosen Post While the entire island would Holds her Throne....

:high:

[Black Book]

http://earthlandia.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/MotherEarth.jpg

The Mountain Goddess

She was their sole deity, their protector, they respected her
Because of her, hearts arose; their art and prose reflected her
All of society crafted around her benevolence
With daily prayer regiments to express their sentiments
Worship is simple when there's physical proof provided
They all saw the mountain; literal truth inside it
Only one place to check to give her grace respect
The ridge revealed the outline of her face and neck
Her features etched in such a divine manner
The villagers all knew they had a benign planner
Her renown was global, yet while they enjoyed her valor
Their goddess was immobile and devoid of power
Luckily, almost none of them knew the secret
Entrusted were the high monks because few could keep it
Back to the deepest eras of human history
To explain the source of this illusion's mystery
Centuries ago, during an earlier society
Before piety, expression was created excitedly
Some apt to perform music, others told stories
Some crafted great sculptures to relive old glories
This mountain was engraved as a tribute to wives
True meaning lost, it found ways to contribute to lives
Over time, one man's great project was misinterpreted
A god read into the art form of a personage
Her reign grew via the people; they added rules and wrath
A doctrine created out of half-beliefs which fooled the mass
But none if it was real, not a single speech or talk
Yet they all still worshipped the useless preacher's rock

Mind Fuck

Good luck duke.

DONO: This was a nice piece. The flow was excellent. Definitely a smooth read. The way to story evolved was nicely. An unexpected twist for sure. The vocabulary was good too. I put the dopest parts in bold. There really isn't anything I can critique here.. You tied your story in with the picture excellently. The whole piece was very good. Only thing I can say is: Maybe you could have provided more background to the preacher who built the rock? I don't know. Might have put more completeness to the twist. Not much, but great work here.


http://i1266.photobucket.com/albums/jj532/mindfuck30/MotherEarth.jpg

Life Beneath

Emotions of stones speak ages from her mountain Built Eyes
the aroma of faith dwells just beyond her face in the lightly Filled Skies
natures beast cushion against her bosom pushing out from the Hill Side
She's transmitting a Lost Translation frozen in her Rock Formation
Thousands of Years waterfalls left the maiden Shrouded in Tears yet she Watched with Patience
centuries past, the Renascence eventually lapsed then finally she saw the Man From Below.
She thought years back when her hair Danced in the Snow through the icey mist she struck a Glance of a Pose.
Paniced she Froze, Hands now were Closed........ He Ran to her Nose climbing fast thinking "If I collapse.." *slip* "If I could Land even Close!!!"... .. . .. Did the wind pick me up? shoulda been Stranded Fo Sho.. Ay what the fuck blame it on luck cause aint no such Thang as a Ghost...
not thinking much of it he set up Camp on the Coast, pondering on his brush with death swearing he felt a hush of breath but he had heard that story before and didn't fall for the Trance of the Hoax butt his thoughts change forever as he adjusts the Lamp on his Boat as he realizes the reflection of the shells on the beach dwelled were her feet that you could see below the shore on the Sand as it Floats...
Paddling Fast as the Tide Went he then contemplated whether to go Back to the Island Unaware that our earthly Aphrodite was a Pacifist Giant Dealing with deep rooted pain that made surrounding waves Crash When She's Crying with a thunderous thump that shook Half of the Thailand and spilled Glasses in Ireland...
Firm yet feeble he went Towards the Shore, Halfway through the maidens Pouring Storm he had to start using Oars as Boards. Onward with hands he went through the water attempting to Force this Course but his movements got heavier than any Fortress Door from Mordors Fort... Then a shift in the tectonic plates occured and our travelers Fortune Soared ot the constellations and Orbits North.
Her hands made of Molten Stone Her nails were shells picked meticulously from the Ocean Coast, The roots below Mold her Bones. It's said she turned to stone waiting for her lost love spending ages to Know he's Home.. Mid summer she shimmered with a winter lust of the Coldest Snow Emotions morphed to Frozen Hope, below her bossom a dozen Snow-Men Spoke of how for the first time in centuries appeared her grassy wide Open Throat. Mysteriously bubbles rose on the opposite side where whales mate and Dolphins Go as a Chosen Post While the entire island would Holds her Throne....

:high:

MIND: This was a nice piece too. The whole story is a little complicated. I think it wasn't as clear as it could be. You took the story away from the picture which was alright, you still tied it in. One thing though: don't put in "fo sho" and talk like that. In a topical you want to be as formal as possible, especially when on a deep topic like this. You're idea was cool, & I put the best lines in bold too. The beginning was the best part with the imagery. To me, the story fell of in the middle & picked back up at the end.

OVERALL: My vote is going to Dono. Both did great but I feel Dono's story and expression of the picture was better. His writing was just more on point technically. Great job to both though. And if any of you want to do a topical battle with me, holla!

[Ill Phenom]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - DONO, scheme wise was about equal for both of you. Dono's piece was shortened up and structured better and def came off more smooth while reading it.
Vocabulary - Close but im going to have to go with DONO here also.
Topic/Meaning - Tie. Close one both came with different styles here.
Storytelling/Progression - DONO, I felt he did a better job going through each stage of the story
Emotion - Tie. Tough cat right here but i dont think either outweighed the other.
Imagery - Mind, easily had the better imagery here. There was a few very well written figures of speech in his verse that tied into the imagery.
Poetic Techniques - DONO, this was another close cat. I felt Mind is touching on the poetic side here but it just wasn't all there. Dono's whole verse's structure from a poetic stanza stand point, and the way the porgression was constructed within the whole verse got this for him.
Ending - Tie, TBH this was the part I felt both could have done a little better on.

Overall: Dono. I felt his was just more well put together. Both had very nice verses and I enjoyed reading both of them. I would like to see these more often.

[Dono]

This picture is cooler....

http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/37781_ladymountain.jpg

Haha

Also, thanks for taking the time to vote guys. Waiting on a couple more.

[Wigsplit]

Mind Fuck n Dono both told great stories here. I think Dono flowed it a lil better, n def took the vocab dept. Very clever with his words as well. MF had some awesome lines n imagery as well. The whole thailand n ireland part was fresh. I think Donos was a little easier to follow tho, but MFs was a bit more entertaining. Close as fuck imo, but i'm goin with Dono overall. Very smooth as always, and always smart shit lol, if that makes sense. Dope battle tho, diggin the creativity from both artists. MVGT Dono

[RULE]

added

tbm