Erupt vs Fiji Osa ROUND 2 ERUPT WINS!!

[IV]

Erupt vs Fiji Osa

House rules apply. Any questions, contact me.

Check ins are due Friday (March 16th) at 11.59PM EST
Verses are due Monday (March 19th) at 11.59PM EST

September 11th

Line length; 20-60 lines
3-0 K.O or first to 5 votes

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i449/VeeSWEngland/9-11-before-collapse.jpg

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[Erupt da Monsta]

Check. .

[Fiji Osa]

Nike .. Intro Tha Kobe System

[IV]

Thanks for both checking in on time! Please submit your verses by Monday at 11.59EST or you will be replaced by a wild card last minute entry! Good luck!

[IV]

Erupt Fiji Osa

[Erupt da Monsta]

In A Flash
The womb merely guards my pupils amidst ak-47,tank,and propaganda fire,
A hundred virgins echo in unison as times bomb expires.
There's a thin line between love and hate,
trip wires.
Preceding my ability to walk facilities engulfed communities involved
with an infants trouble to push.
My first words set the mood perfectly,
"George W. Bush" .
"Da da" came in a close third to "All hail Allah",
A hundred virgins birthed this serpent of karma.
Once I grew legs,
as a kid growing up owning much of history's transgressions mans lesson manifested into the trenches patiently destined
groups assembled from the roots of temples pursued by simple lucid yet astute potentials
shooting missiles,
proving useful pupils of Allah's fruitful ten fold.
A hundred scriptures read aloud from dead end mouths of the youngest ministers.
"All Hail Allah, All Hail ..."
A hundred virgins derail
my flaccid thoughts previously bought out by propaganda now patent locked.
Acquired passports,
wired cash morphed into a hired blast corpse impatiently awaiting higher transport.
Passengers surrounding me debate America's likely hoarder of Allah's supporters,
there's a thin line between love and hate,
the United States boarder.
The conversations of battered wives transformed into the sound of pulsating virgin vaginas
Focus.

All eyes translated to hatred, analyzing my every motion.

As the plane sustained altitude the mood fixated on descent,
The scent of deflowering a nation grew more intense.

A lack of experience is mistaken for innocence.

Nervousness curved the bliss of death for the masses,
Panic flashes.
The takeover conceded without layover to greet it.
Faces in dismay relay traces of hope,
There's a thin line between love and hate,
A trail of smoke.

[Fiji Osa]

The biblical prophecy has come to pass .. Jesus toppled the TOWER of BABEL
America rattled and it change the course of how foreign nationals are considered ill rational
The plan manifested itself perfectly and everyone's fate certainly
came crashing to an end purposely .. the urgency was frantic so many lives loss
It all ended in a matter of infinity
The north tower engulfed but the force that rocked the south tower .. instantly
altered the imagery of the industry .. dismally i watched at this infamy
Two planes piloted by the faceless making New York a wasteland
The higher echelon no need for debate man ..
Somebody will pay for these transgressions upon the helpless
America needed retribution the MARINES were the single solution to bring absolution
to the jihad evolution ..
More time passed and still there were bodies pulled from the pits still some was missing
in the endless abyss .. I sharpened my fangs pissed my rifle true I promise the first bullet will not miss Left my family behind .. at 19 years old thoughts passed thru my imagination
A unborn child my wife was my sole infatuation but temptation for revenge consumed my soul
Training made us cold .. killing machines unable to feel pain, pity or sorrow
We cross the line of departure tomorrow let any man that is not bur roughed
meet Allah .. take me with him so I can bring to the pharaoh and his virgins endless sorrow
Sand stings my face the only light is the haunting oil field pyres
A missile drops and then the racket of rifle fire
Firefights happen so quick the sounds the stench sick ..
War can be a beautiful flick I see an enemy stumble into my line of sight
HEY STOP YOU PRICK .. I took a deep breath .. an held it solid like a brick
Closed my eyes remembered all the faces of the forgotten thru this shit
I opened my eyes .. and the last sound I remembered was click ..

[NelSyn]

Voting Rubix

Rhyming Scheme/Flow: TIE one had choppy flow, the other had a simple rhyme scheme.

Vocabulary: TIE both were kinda boring with there usage of the english language.

Topic/Meaning: Erupt had a much better feel for the topic, IMO.

Storytelling/Progression: Erupt stayed much more consistant skill level wise & plot wise.

Emotion: Fiji had a much better feel overall. Slightly better wording in some places made a difference.

Imagery: TIE both got a pretty good picture of the scene. Good work on this from both sides..to close.

Poetic Techniques: Erupt had much better metaphors & described the entire scenery in a poetic manner.

Ending: Erupt was much more exciting throughout the final stanzas..



MVGT - Erupt. He exzibited much better skills then Fiji in this one. Although it was close, Erupt managed to clutch most of the categories...Good battle guys.

[S A L T]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Erupt
Vocabulary - Erupt (Close)
Topic/Meaning - Erupt
Storytelling/Progression - Erupt
Emotion - Erupt
Imagery - Close
Poetic Techniques - Erupt
Ending - Erupt
I think Erupt pretty much nailed the concept. Fiji was dope, but i just followed one more and felt it. Fair.

[Fiji Osa]

Yea I Rushed It Spent To Much Time on YouTube Battle Tourney Shit .. Good Shit Rupt .. Nice Piece

[RhetoriK]

Good luck gentlemen...represent.

[B U R D E N]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Erupt
Vocabulary - Im going to say Erupt got this
Topic/Meaning - Erupt
Storytelling/Progression - Erupt
Emotion - IMO Fiji
Imagery - Both did their thing here ..real talk so im going with a TIE
Poetic Techniques - Erupt
Ending - Erupt

Both were good and worth reading i just think that Erupt was better here.. respect to both dudes though. On another day ..this could of went to Fiji nah mean but off of this right here Erupt gets my vote. Peace!

[IV]

Erupt wins due to 3-0 KO! Congrats to Erupt. Respect to both and thanks for both submitting your verses. Round 3 will be kicking off tonight!

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.