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View Full Version : LB Winter Olympics - Master-Mind vs DonoTheGod


NelSyn
12-26-2011, 09:15 PM
LB Winter Olympics round 1

Master-Mind vs DonoTheGod

http://apocalypse2011.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Apocalypse-Signs.jpg

First to 3 votes wins.

Voting rubric
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Poetic Techniques
Ending

35-65 lines
Check-ins due: December 28th 2011
Verses due: January 5th 2012

Dono
12-27-2011, 08:14 AM
Check

Gl fuel

Óðinn
12-27-2011, 10:57 PM
Checkity Check...

Óðinn
12-28-2011, 12:10 AM
The 3 votes thing is bullshit IMO man...

NelSyn
01-02-2012, 02:13 PM
FUEL has given his spot to Master-Mind, there will be an extension by two days

Master-Mind
01-04-2012, 09:55 PM
2012
Lookin' out my window I see the "destruction setting clearer" bravery is just an "assumption in my era" cant believe what im seeing, finding it hard to "function as its getting nearer" my brain goes into "consussion, wish there was someone in the theatre" *hospital*.....I tried to call for help but im the "last one alive" standing on my own two feet and "grasping my pride" wondering if ill get a "chance to survive" through this whirlwind and the "wrath it provides" cant believe it, so stunned I just "laughed and I sighed" walked out my front door thats barely "hanging off the hinges" I see the devil calling guess he "had me on his hitlist" surrounded my a "dramatic fall of thin mist" what I saw left me far from "estatic, more like a form of vengeance" there I was helplessly "lurking with persistance" facing my fate given by the "whirlwind in the distance" it somehow felt like a "breath of fresh air" through this "death and despair" there was no other human being alive "blessed with the care" for the full "effects of the air" just me alone "left to prepare" my family.....i never "had the chance to say goodbye" damn this is a "dramatic way to cry" i love you all and I feel like I "need your blessing" will I ever see you again? well probably "meet in heaven" im preparing myself to experience my "last breath" when all the others are already "past death" so i walked my "last steps".....i walked past the "block that I spent my childhood" nothin left of that place but "rocks and a pile of wood" my heart "stopped and my spine shook" i feel "shocked when I try and look" next to it was a school where i "started my education" bullied to the fullest by the cold "hearted and impatient" but thanks to that I "parted with elevation" so I stood and watched it crumble... no "parts of hesitation" when my "heart and head is breaking"... the sun sets on my last "day on the planet" god you gave me a gift I hope I didnt "take it forgranted" but now im stuck here in a "place thats abandoned" mother I wish I could just see your "face but im stranted" i hate to say this world has no more "space for a grand kid" then it starts happening, buildings falling right "infront of me" I try to get away from it but the whirlwind is "outrunning me" I wanted to change the future but I "have to be in the past" cause its not too long before this whirlwind "catches me in its path" all of a sudden the floor "underneath me starts cracking" I try not to let this curse "defeate me but its happening" then my vision gets like a "TV and starts crackling" you dont wanna be a part of it "believe me its baffling" the "scene is dismantling" then the tornado "catches me and my last breath" no way of me "snatching free from the heartless death", now im trapped "this is really the end" I thought this was a nightmare this "shit was nearly pretend" now im here "fighting for my last breath" some of you will be "enlightened by my wrath death" thoughts rushed through my mind as "why this had to happen" all of a sudden I saw a flash of "white and then it blackened" my "fright turned into absense" I left to the world to "start a new rovolution" every human had to "part with their execution" hopefully one day again theyll get to "laugh to their best amusement" I dont quite understand what "made today so rotten" thousands of dead bodies "lay but never forgotten" this world held too much crime maybe this was gods "way to stop them" the worlds most "painful option" then it hit me what year it was "two thousand and twelve" the day that every human "moves out of the world" even though the whole worlds "past is abandonned" im proud to say that I was the "last one standing".....2012....."The end of the world"

NelSyn
01-04-2012, 11:36 PM
^^ No mean to sway but tooo dooppppe.

Dono
01-05-2012, 12:36 AM
Yo, you should send out messages for this shit. I had no idea it was back on.

Also, nice shit for your first drop.

I'll be back with something tomorrow.

NelSyn
01-05-2012, 12:52 AM
^^I must've forgot to send PM's for topical. I know I sent them for Scheme and Reg.

Dono
01-05-2012, 05:02 AM
Aint no thing, just thought it was closed up. I woulda cought the L just for lackin knowing that you replaced 2fuel.

Dono
01-05-2012, 06:05 AM
http://apocalypse2011.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Apocalypse-Signs.jpg

I stand still, overlooking my broken playground
As I watch the last of the weak, fall, choke and stay down
Time's like now I can't stay proud though they start to pray loud
Their own foolishness and weakness brought this day 'round
I watched from afar at the inception of small spars
Saw humans evolve and the invention of all cars
They kept learning, sent an extension out to mars
And considered different dimensions in the stars
I watched it all, as the entire race grew and they flourished
But a piece was missing, something truly malnourished
They built up giant cities founded on concrete and steel
And trusted the material world as completely real
There was too much conflict hardwired into their nature
I should have seen it coming since I was their maker
I vowed only to watch events, never interfere
And I cringed as I saw things turn forever so severe
Those giant nations of men, couldn't keep relations with them
They turned on each other, their aspirations had bent
Used technology for weapons of mass destruction
I created a world for them but they quickly trashed the function
Bombs dropped, boom! moms lost, tombs! the hard core had gone soft too
Not a single person was spared as the onslaught grew
The initial contact annihilated and crippled billions
Radioactive debris covered even the little children
Most dropped to their knees, asking me stop it all please
When they make messes like this I hate mopping up these
I'm the background, I merely create the machinery
Then let the course run, I don't debate what they mean to me
I have no compassion while their teeth are slowly gnashing
Brought on themselves, behaving in a lowly fashion
Humans are prone to violence, aftermath known as silence
But it's beyond my role to be the one to show them guidance
See I'm not the only god, merely one of many
The father of all you know but not the son of any
My only goal is to keep creating planets for humans
Until together they can all stand up in unions
Forever I've known my place in the universe
Had to accept it, no way to trace this unruly curse
So as lost as you might feel buried in the vast space
I'm not further ahead than you, we're all in last place
I also cower and pray to a higher power,
Do as I'm told to avoid making my sire sour
He may be another watchmaker just like me
But I cling to hope that scenario is unlikely
I control your fate and tend to all your business
But learning my own meaning fills my entire wish list

ozark
01-05-2012, 05:32 PM
Rhyme scheme/flow- although Master mind didn't lack, and had some witty rhyme points, I feel Dono's rhymed and flowed better-

Vocabulary- easy one here, master mind takes vocab hands down.

Topic meaning- TIE, both had roughly the same idea here, so it's a tie.

Storytelling- another easy cata, master mind wrote a small story.

Emotion- both were pretty good- imma say tie.

Poetic technique- I have to go with Dono here, his was more poetic while M-M was more story

Ending- tie here, I felt both had a good ending-

Master mind GMV- she won more catas, I feel Dono rushed his due to lack of knowledge of the replacement- but was still a good read- GL to the winner

IV
01-05-2012, 09:11 PM
I just wrote out a really cunting fucking long expo for each category and my internet browser decided to go back a page randomly, so i'm afraid i'll have to be brief.


Rhyme scheme/flow- Dono - Both very different, Dono's simply flowed well and went really well with his topic path, simple yet effective at first read, but more complex if you really analyse.

Vocabulary- Tie - Master used longer words so at first look the W would go to her, but Dono had a very vast range of vocab. Won't call it.

Topic meaning- Tie - Both went down the same route.

Storytelling- Dono - Both progressed well and painted a picture, but Dono made it easier to empathise with his story, therefore I felt his story. It's almost as is master was telling the story from her point of view, that Dono was creating within his piece.

Emotion- Tie - Emotional in different ways, master really forced her emotion upon us, whilst Dono was more subtle. Both emotional, well done.

Poetic technique- Dono - Really really nice poetic technique used, simple to follow and structured very nicely.

Ending- Dono - Really summed it up well, nice twist that he was the God causing the destruction, not predictable at all and really climaxed the captivation in a positive way.

MVGT- DonoTheGod - No hate Master, it was an exceptional drop for your first topical battle, but Dono was on another level here. Whole piece was so thought out, but was portrayed in a way that was simple to follow and easy to feel the emotion, when reading the verse I actually felt like I was looking down and watching the end of the world, and imagery is an exetremly difficult thing to create when you've already got the topic picture in your head, really brought it to life and animated it. Well done this was very, very good.

NelSyn
01-06-2012, 12:07 AM
Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Dono - Both were clever & were strong w/ their flow. It was close, but Dono had a smoother read w/ a more complex rhyme scheme..

Vocabulary - Master-Mind - She excelled in this, she added complexity to her verse w/ her extremely vivid vocab. Dono didn't lack though.

Topic/Meaning - Tie - Both basically went the same direction

Storytelling/Progression - Master-Mind - She was more consistent, I felt as if Dono fell off a bit, but then got better, the progression was nice, but boring at some stages.

Emotion - Dono - This was close, Master-Mind had to force it alot though. (EDIT: IMO, in a different way then Verity described it, maybe the same, but I wasn't as much of a fan.) xD

Poetic Techniques - Tie - Both used a strong form of Metaphors, similes, etc. too close to decide.

Ending - Master-Mind - Dono didn't lack in the slightest, both were sick as fuck, but I think Master's ending was more witty and nicely played.


MVGT - Master-Mind
This battle fucking surprised me, both went in & both were dope as hell. It was close as hell. Master-Mind had a lot of clever moments mixed in w/ decent flow, but really good storytelling skills. Some point's of Dono's verse were lackluster, he excelled in his rhyme schemes & portrayed the emotion really well; but not enough to win.

Lizman
01-10-2012, 03:10 AM
Pew, Pew, Pew [This The Sound Of Futuristic Laser Guns]
Is This Why You Call Yourself Dono Now Instead Of Dono The God?
Because God Has Died And Humans Have Outgrown You?

Started Off Well, Pretty Well Actually... Liked The Part About Invention Of All Cars That Was Coolio... In The Middle I Kinda Thought... This Is Getting Boring And Predictable... And In The End I Was Disappointed Because You Started Degrading The Readers With The Fact That You Are God (Wow What A Revelation)...And Then You Made It Sound Like You Were Not God... Just Gay... The Ending That Is... Started Off Really Good... Got Soso In The Middle And Ended... ... ...
Anywho,
Rhyming Scheme/Flow 7
Vocabulary 6
Topic/Meaning 7
Storytelling/Progression 8
Emotion 4
Poetic Techniques 6
Ending 3

That Makes It.. Uh... One Second... 41... I Think



Subliminal123... Yay... Still Dont Know Your Sex... Anywho...
This Is All Very Iam Legend Ish... Not Necessarily Saying Its A Bad Thing... Hmmm
You Went Well With The Emotion And Storytelling; Sadly Your Overall Presentation Was Lackluster; Does Vocabulary Include Correct Grammar? Because If It Does... ... Anywho
Lets Get Straight To The Votes... Before That Uh Vivid Stuff I Guess

Rhyming Scheme/Flow 6
Vocabulary 5
Topic/Meaning 6
Storytelling/Progression 7
Emotion 7
Poetic Techniques 6
Ending 4

Why Is There No Voting For Overall Presentation? Ugh... 41...



Same Score
However, I Liked Donos Overall Presentation More So DONO WINS In My Eyes

Phroxen
01-10-2012, 03:38 AM
If it wasn't 3:30 AM, I'd take the time to read and vote. Ugh. I hope whoever votes knows what they're doing since it's first to 3. If this isn't closed by mid day tomorrow, I'll drop a vote.

From what I skimmed, both were starting very solid.. good luck to you both.

NelSyn
01-10-2012, 09:28 AM
2-2 .. next vote finally wins....smh.

Dono
01-10-2012, 06:56 PM
It's supposed to be first to five.

It's only supposed to be 3 if it's 3-0.

You're the host though.

Your rules.

NelSyn
01-10-2012, 08:15 PM
I changed it because if we're gonna get through this tournament, we gotta cut it a bit..

NelSyn
01-13-2012, 06:55 PM
One more to close - still.

Xander
01-13-2012, 10:21 PM
Rhyming Scheme/Flow: Dono. I found MasterMind hard to keep track of, flow wise at some points. Dono was more clever IMO.

Vocabulary: Dono. Altho M.M. had a broader vocab then her opponant Dono organized it better making for a smoother read..

Topic/Meaning: Master. Both fundamentally wrote the same topic down but M.M was slightly more descriptive.

Storytelling/Progression: Master. Like I said, more descriptive. She was also more consistant then her opponant.

Emotion: Tie. Both let off the same vibe IMO.

Poetic Techniques: Dono. Better metaphors and similies. He controlled this category easy..

Ending: Master. She ended alot better, Dono's kinda seemed unfinished IMO. I think M.M ended much stronger.

MVGT: .......this was close as hell, both came good and dominated in different categories..dono got this with better wording.

Dono
01-13-2012, 10:39 PM
Well since this is over I just wanted to say I don't really understand how you guys felt like we wrote the same story.

Hers was about the end of the world.

Mine was about a god who's job it is to create worlds until he makes it correctly. He's not all powerful though.

Not arguing one was better than the other just confused as to how you guys ended up with the same story.

Poor wording on my part I guess.

Wigsplit
01-27-2012, 08:49 AM
Dono Wins.........

RULE
01-04-2020, 06:56 PM
added

tbm