Topical Tournament Semi-Finals: DonotheGod (loser) vs Wigsplit (winner)

[Ill Phenom]

TOPICAL TOURNAMENT 2011 SEMI FINALS

DonotheGod Vs Wigsplit

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me or Ill Phenom.

CHECK INS ARE DUE THURSDAY (10-20-11) AT 11:59PM EST. VERSES ARE DUE SATURDAY (10-22-11) AT 11:59PM. EST. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Line Length: 20-60 lines.
First to 5 Votes.

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs39/p/2008/365/2/2f0eeb4fa70871c9f70dd4fd184b23bd.jpg


Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[Dono]

Shit just got real. Check.

[Wigsplit]

Shits bout to get unreal. Check.

[Wigsplit]

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs39/p/2008/365/2/2f0eeb4fa70871c9f70dd4fd184b23bd.jpg

Hero Cop

Police Radio: All units in the vicinity to respond; A 211 in progress at J & R Liquor Store
Officer Brady looked over at Officer Shore
Tires peal, sirens blast. Officer Shore pulls out his heat
Brady Said "We'll cut him off at Arch Street!"
Radio: Suspect is a six foot male, wearing a black hoody and blue jeans.
Shore said "I can't wait to try out these new beams!"
Within a minutes time, they flew past J & R Liquors
Shore said "If I was driving, we'd made it quicker!"
Brady snickers. Then stomps the brakes at an alleyway
He hops out the car fast screaming "Suspect ran that a way!"
They give chase for a second, then the suspect stops
He turns around stammering "Motherfucking cops."
He reaches into his coat pocket. BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!
Brady looks at Shore like Damn Man! DAAMN!
He runs up to the guy, and reaches in his coat
He pulls out a vibrating phone, already blood soaked
Shore studders out "I-I-I thought he was going for a gun!"
Brady shouts back "Get the glock from the trunk!!"
Shore runs to the car fast, and lets out a gasp
Then bolts back to Brady with the glock in his grasp
Brady says "Shoot me! Or your life is over!"
Shore thinks about it, then pops one in his shoulder
He screams "OFFICER DOWN! WE NEED BACK UP!" into his radio
Brady gives him the thumbs up, like, Way To Go!
Shore walks to the suspects body. Places the gun in his hand.
Brady tries to stand up, but he can not stand
WooOOoWoooWooOOoo! The ambulance and back up arrives
Shore rides in the back with Brady as he struggles to survive
Finally, while waiting at the hospital, a doctor steps out
And the words Shore didn't want to hear, come out his mouth
"I'm sorry sir, but Officer Brady is gone."
Shores heart dropped to his stomache. What has he done???
Then, two men dressed in suits, come by to see him
Ask him questions they had, like, "When did the suspect start fleeing?"
Shore answered all of them like a professional
He said "The man turned around shooting. The shots fired back were intentional."
After two hours of being hounded by the men in suits
Shore found his way home, and kicked off his shoes
He collapsed on his bed and broke down in tears
How could he kill his partner?!? His best friend for years!!!
And that kid didnt even deserve to get shot
Wiping his cheeks, he thought, I deserve to get caught
He looked at a pic on his dresser. Him and Brady at a bar.
He pressed it against his chest, next to his hard beating heart
Layed down in bed, and passed out holding it tight
He woke up from a bad dream, screaming in fright
In shined the morning light. He felt like he didn't even sleep
He set the picture on his dresser. And began to weep.
Shore got dressed, and went to make some coffee
He heard the newspaper hit his porch softly
So he opened his door, reluctant to look
Front page read "OFFICER DIES. HERO COP STOPS THE CROOK!"

[Dono]

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs39/p/2008/365/2/2f0eeb4fa70871c9f70dd4fd184b23bd.jpg

My brothers, I used to spend time admiring the colors
Beautiful summers in suburbs, inspired by the wonders
I had stolen a gorgeous wife with long golden hair
In our home, the bonds of love were deeply woven there
We had a young daughter, with the fairest complexion
The happiest of families with relished affection
A fresh recruit at the detective academy
Enjoyed the job but didn't comprehend the full gravity
Doing my job, I stirred up trouble for thugs in the city
Brought up a case against flowing drugs, it was gritty
They reddened and threatened to damage to my house
Slit my daughter's throat and be savage with my spouse
I didn't pay any mind they seem like the empty kind
Now, I rarely find myself acting so very blind
One day after the settlement in the court room
Pulled into my driveway thinking I could thwart doom
Knew something was wrong as I opened the door
Noticed the floor was bloody as I bolted and swore
In the kitchen I found my wife's throat split ear to ear
Fear appeared, took me over, they were clearly here
Burgundy had pooled and drained all across the tile
But where was my baby girl, had I lost the child?
I heard a gurgling sound emanate from the corner
My princess stabbed, the scene elevating my torture
I knelt looking into my daughter's bright teal eyes
My frantic screams did nothing to change fate, she still dies
I watch in wretched misery as her color drains
There's nothing that could ever create tougher pains
I scream aloud to the heavens and curse god
The almighty being above is fake, the worst fraud
With everything taken I bury myself in work
While thoughts of revenge brood and I know death that lurks
I'm capricious since I'm no longer feeling religious
When I find the bastards that did this with sickness
I'll be a witness to their suffering as I grimace
Vicious and malicious without any limits
I'll hammer rivets through them and cut till their skinless
With swiftness and mischief I'll sever all digits
Beat them witless in instants, it'll feel so delicious
And watch them cry like infants as I shatter their spirits
Slowly my uniform has become tattered and faded
The colors I used to love dearly are now the most hated
My true self destroyed, I feel as though I'm wearing a mask
Playing a part, vengeance is mine, no impairing my task
Learned no person in this world speaks with their true mouth
My whole life has changed and I'm taking a new route
Empty now, all I want is to avenge my family
It's the only option that can quench my agony
After months of effort I finally catch a lead
I'll have my opportunity to make these trash guys bleed
Following up, my partner spots the crooks in public
For their crimes forget courts they must now be punished
My partner has no idea of my true intentions
How I plan to gouge out eyes and cut up their tendons
As I approach the last of my colors turn black and white
They took my everything but I'm getting back tonight

[Ticket]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow: DONO I am going to have to edge this to Dono. It was close tho. There was more flow to the read for me.
Vocabulary: PUSHI can't give a definitive advantage to either side here. PUSH.
Topic/Meaning: WIGSPLIT Strong win by Wigspit in my opinion.
Storytelling/Progression: WIGSPLIT Another strong win by Wiggy, I was feelign the flow of the story much better.
Emotion: WIGSPIT. Despite the emotional grip that Dono had I felt it was under developed from the beginning . I am going to edge this to Wigspit.
Imagery: Push. Didn't feel either had an edge in this department Both did ok.
Poetic Techniques: PUSH Meh. Push.
Ending: WIGSPLIT By far the end was set up better by Wigsplit in my opinion. Donos felt rushed and like he was trying to get there too quickly. idk.

Overall I felt WIGSPIT got this IMHO.

[Revan]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow: Felt one was stronger here - Dono.
Vocabulary: Neither flexed really hard here. If forced to pick i'd say this dude mighta edged it... Dono.
Topic/Meaning: I think Uncle Wiggles took this cat - Wiggles.
Storytelling/Progression: I thought Dono's middle section was really strong, but overall that Wiggles did better over the whole - Wiggles.
Emotion: Felt like neither really got to where they needed to go. I finished both piece feeling like it had been rushed or that it needed more. There was a couple cliched lines from each side. - TIE.
Imagery: One told a more vivid story - Wiggles.
Poetic Techniques: Honestly felt Wiggles pushed the envelope further as far as techniques and execution went. - Wiggles.
Ending: Donos felt unfinished, not sure if u were keying to meet the deadline or summat but Wiggles got this cat - Wiggles.

MVGT: Both had nice drops, Donos felt incomplete and had a few too many cliches spots, Wiggles was more entertaining throughout. - Wiggles.

[IV]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow- Wigsplit -Both had similar rhyming schemes, but with wiggys simple vocab an short lines it edged it.
Vocabulary- DonoTheGod -More diverse grammar, better vocab.
Topic/Meaning- Wigsplit -Loved the story line. Both were good, and loved how both verses were different but went went will the image. Good job.
Storytelling/Progression- Wigsplit -This was close, both had a storyline but wiggy edged it, it was clearer and had more progression imo.
Emotion- DonoTheGod -Felt this was a lot more emotional, although wiggy made it possible to feel for the cop, Dono had mad emotion in his piece.
Imagery- Wigsplit -Both had imagery, wiggys was easier to follow.
Poetic Techniques- Wigsplit -Again this was really close, both used similar styles but wigsplit was more on point imo.
Ending-Wigsplit -Although both had a storyline, i felt that Wiggy had a much better ending, Dono your ending was more subtle, left us on a cliffhanger but it seemed unfinished.

MVGT- Wigsplit -Liked the story, the whole topic and meaning, it went really well flowed nicely, easy to follow, simple but effective, you executed your idea in a really clever way and just think you edged this by fitting a whole story into the line limit leaving the reader satisfied with the ending. Dont get me wrong, Dono i was feelin' your verse too you had mad emotion and good vocab, could go either way was a good read you both deserve to be in the semi-finals well done

[Revan]

Wiggles wins via 3-0 KO.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

tbm

added