Topical Tournament Round 4: Intricate_Skillz vs Ill Phenom [OPEN FOR VOTES]

[Ill Phenom]

TOPICAL TOURNAMENT 2011 ROUND 4

Intricate_Skillz (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=879213) Vs Ill Phenom (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=883314)

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me.

CHECK INS ARE DUE THURSDAY (10-13-11) AT 11:59PM EST. VERSES ARE DUE SATURDAY (10-15-11) AT 11:59PM. EST. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Line Length: 20-50 lines.
First to 5 Votes.

http://www.desktopwallpapers.ro/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=8845&g2_serialNumber=1

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[ozark]

Checkin in homie

[Ill Phenom]

My Check in..

[Ill Phenom]

My mind is walking down a long path of tears and horror
All the abuse I've absorbed is the fears That I harbor
When I was only 6 years old, my father used to shake me
Scream and shout, Ream me out, then abuse and rape me
A Few years later my uncle toughest prick in south carolina
Restrained my arms and legs, then stuck his dick in my vagina
going home and my mother telling me I'm the most worthless dirt on earth
and the years of being bullied, I began to furnace all this hurt
All the Shame and Danger, Started Enflaming My Anger
Pulling out the Pieces, being Smashed and Rebuilt like a game of jenga
Now I'm Eighteen Years old, Losing as I'm falling from clouds
But I'm Opening It up now, It will All Come Around
Like A Pair Of Scissors Removing The Walls From My Mouth
I Confront my parents in their Room With A Knife
"This is For fucking Ruining My Life,
And whats that, that your Mumbling from the side
You Fucking Bitch, Your Done, Your Gonna Die"
I Stab My Mother In The Heart, as Cupid Crumbles From The Sky
Face My Father: "And It's You That I Slaughter
Who Could Actually Sexually Abuse Their Own Daughter"
He Began to Charge and Grapple My Arms From The Chest
But I Sliced His "Adams Apple" Watched It Flow Like Apple Sauce Down From His Neck
The Neglect and Hatred, it Surrounded Me Like Island Waters
The Mistreatment and Detest, It all Piled On Her
After she Brutally Killed her Parents with Such Hate For Love
She began to Enjoy It, Began To Develop A Taste For Blood
So She Went Next Door, Started a Murder Spree
Single Mother and With One Kid, They Didn't Deserve A Thing
So Happy, So Unhurt, That it Hurts To See
So I slice the Mothers Achilles, Made her Immobile
Put both her Hands In the Garbage Disposal
The I Took the Hammer to her Child, it wasn't Bothering Me
Nailed It To The Floor LIke My Father Did To Me
My Two Parents, The Ends Of Both Scissors On The Evening That Bled
Cutting the Walls, Creating and Opening this Demon Of Death

[ozark]

** * * * * * * *"BLACK ROSE"
Her skin tone fades, as deaths touch grips her blades,
Her sorrows cascade, Through a cleft rush *slips her pain,
The agonys cold, as the frigid tips of the shears cut fierce into her veins,*
Shes black on the soul, as vivid pics of the years pierce into her brain,
Thoughts reminess through her white eyes, pale as a winters death,
Brings her back to a time, where days werent dark as night skies, or stale as a sinners breath,
** * * * * * "THE BEGINNING"
Her joy was grand, and life was full of fruitful blooms pending,
She was coy as planned, yet life held secrets of a youthful tomb ending,
Her father was in a crash and died unexpected,*
She held tha pain, as she walked around un affected,*
Her mother, married her lover, her thoughts, none infected,
Until the guy started abusein her youth, her mother caught him un protected,
But aside her maternal knowledge, she buried the truth,
Behind tears, eternal vassalage of proof,*
The fear instead, was no homage to her youth,
** * * * * * "THE FIRST CUT"
She locked herself away in the room, where she layed her head,*
Down in dismay, at the gloom, the first time she felt the razors edge,
She couldnt speake of the anguish, so with aimless actions,
She cut deep beneathe, and found pain as passion,
The blood leaked, as she was weake, yet tha angers passin,
She vowed not to speake of all the missused,*
So she bowed her head and prayed to her father, all the miss yous,
** * * * "HIDDEN TREASURE"
With long sleeves, she covered every trace of her markings,
But every slice of hell, was not felt, as if replaced by morphine,
She became addicted, by any means, she was more fiend,
Yet her mother stayed silent, in dissreguard to her poor queen,
The abuse made her step father feel like he was more king,
She loathed every night, before she'd hear the door swing,*
** * * * * "THE FINAL CUT"
*The heat came yearly, so as the sweat trickled,
Clothed for seasons past, her friends became less fickled,
She couldnt speake, as if her mouth was sewn shut,
She grew weary of this life, based on her own cuts,
One last pass, so she would *remember the name,
And soak it all in, through blood seaped clothes, she hender'd the pain-
** * * * * *"CUTTING TIES"
She grasped the scissors, and started to breake free,
Cutting through the love, which became her missery,
She couldnt speake, yet now her screams r running through,
She was weake, yet now her Dreams r coming true,
Her silence is broken, she will finally be heard,
As she cuts through the pain, the justice she deserves will be served/








** * * * * * * * **

[Xander]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Intricate. Both started slow but got alot better as they progressed tho.
Vocabulary - Phenom, a pretty easy choice...just, better
Topic/Meaning - Tied...fucking awesome from both sides.
Storytelling/Progression - Phenom - His started off a bit slower, but ended up getting alot better by the middle.
Emotion - Intricate ... both were good, emotion wise..and all though Phenom showed better story telling techniques, I felt Intricate's more.
Imagery - Intricate .. more emotion usually equals better / more imagery. I swearI saw the story as I was reading it. Lol. :high:
Poetic Techniques - Phenom, showed alot better rhyming skills then his opponent.
Ending - Phenom, like I said, he started off slower, but then by the end did get alot better.

MVGT - Phenom ... close as a motherfucker. Only slight differences won this, honestly a great battle.

[ozark]

upping this shit

[BFNE CEO™]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow: SKILLS felt like Ill was trying to force some of his ending rhymes....im not sayin on a track that they wouldnt have went together cause i could totally here them in my head, but this is text and its gotta be just as technical to the eyes as it is to the person reading and saying the words in their head.
Vocabulary: Ill got this cat hands down. hand some very nice word usage in his
Topic/Meaning: TIE both had the same kinda story, girl being abused kinda thing. went in 2 different directions but i liked both
Storytelling/Progression: ILL i liked how his story progressed with alot of violence and murder, he didnt just leave it at the parents being killed, there was a killing spree started...
Emotion: SKILLS skills just had that more emotional progression here and the story was broken into chapter like sections, was nice
Imagery: SKILLS i was just able to put myself in skills story just a lil more, its a cunt hair edge!!
Poetic Techniques: ILL his usage of words and his story was just a very well thought out drop, i could see this in a book of morbid poetry.
Ending: SKILLS skills ending just fit with his storyline better, i liked ILL's but to me it was lacking compared to the rest of the story


MVGT: INTRICATE SKILLS

Good shit from both this could go either way for sure........GOOD LUCK GENTS!!!!

[Revan]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Intricate. I felt Ill was really choppy in the first half, Skillz was smooth throughout.
Vocabulary - Phenom. A close one, Ill got a slight edge here.
Topic/Meaning - Tie. Two completely different approaches, both pure crack.
Storytelling/Progression - Phenom. Once ill's drop reached the halfway stage it just kicked into another gear. His second half was sooo dope.
Emotion - Tie. Again two different approached but both did really well.
Imagery - Intricate. Again a edged catagory. Ills slow start hurt him here.
Poetic Techniques - Intricate. Skillz took this one.
Ending - Phenom. The second half of Ills drop really was great.

MVGT - Intricate. Fuck. This was DOPE! If Ill started like he finished he woulda took this. I felt IS's drop was a touch more consistant, whereas Ills ended just as it was getting good. Either way for real, but simple ones peice was very good, whislt the others was very good but left me with little frustrations. 1/

[Ill Phenom]

1-2 Intricate.. Upping for more votes..

[Wigsplit]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow- Intricate Skillz. To me he flowed better in this battle, Ill wasnt lacking tho.
Vocabulary- Intricate Skillz. I honestly seen better vocab from Skillz. Ill had some real good words in there, but Skillz edged it with a few more.
Topic/Meaning- Tie. Both had really good meaning's behind their topical.
Storytelling/Progression- Intricate Skillz. The way he broke it down did it for me. Even the chapters names fit really well with each little verse. Ill did really well, but it didnt pull me in like Skillz.
Emotion- Intricate Skillz. The emotion he put in the story made you feel the girls pain more imo. Ill did really well in this category too, but I think the way Skillz told his story helped you feel more for that girl, altho all rape victims should be treated fairly lol, I didnt laugh about rape, its not funny. Anyway, close, but Skillz.
Imagery- Intricate Skillz. Things suck as "Hidden Treasure". And I know exactly what he's talking about, it was pinpoint on with the shit. Ill had nice imagery, like the apple sauce line, and a bunch of other parts, he jus had a hell of a topical to go against is all.
Poetic Techniques- Intricate Skillz. His was very poetic, while Ills was more story like.
Ending- Intricate Skillz. Even tho I seent it coming, it ended his topical very well, and nice lol. Ill had a good ending too, it aint like his shit wasnt fire as well, Skillz just took this for me.

MVGT- Intricate Skillz. Ya'll both had very creative pieces, but Skillz went in on this shit. He impresses the shit out of me with his poetic ways lol. I was digging Ills too, but the creativness of Skillz took it. Just imo tho, yall did a hell of a battle, I read em both like 5 times to make sure, so my vote is official lol. Good luck to both of you.

[Revan]

1-3 Skillz, first to 5 wins.

[RhetoriK]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Intricate. End to end a smoother read. Flow's were choppy

Vocabulary - Phenom. This isn't based on vernacular, but usage. Example the word furnace. His word usage kept me interested in the piece. Intricate had a higher vernacular, but it was more straightforwrd. This was a shoe preference basically.

Topic/Meaning - Tie. I liked both equally and they were similar in aspect. Would have like to have seen one of them reach outside the box, but great minds do think a like.

Storytelling/Progression - Intricate. He built stanzas and chronicled the story well. Phenom framed his well, but it just wasn't as on point imo.

Emotion - Phenom. I think that word usage came into play on this one. He captured it well, Intricate's storyline was more captivating overall, but the individual moments that Phenom put across rang bells.

Imagery - Intricate. Goes hand in hand with emotion. it's hard to prevade emotion in text and both tried it. I think Int had a better take on it. Also, by chronicaling everything, he crescendoed the events well to a grand finale whereas Phe was more straight through. Sometimes that works better, in this case, the edge goes to the more far-reaching one.

Poetic Techniques - Tie. Nothing much to say here. Hit and miss from both.

Ending - Int. Just for the fact that he was able to leave it open for more. Pretty well even aside from that.

Hardest vote yet boyos. mad props

Overall Vote - Intricate Skills

[Prose_]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow- tie
Vocabulary- Ill had a better syllable count
Topic/Meaning- the ending from Phe took this
Storytelling/Progression- blah blah on both sides but Phe moved it along more
Emotion- tied. again. similar.
Imagery- Phe with apple sauce metaphors created more of an image. lol
Poetic Techniques- ima tie this one.
Ending- Phenom... he had the topic wrapped up in the ending...

FV: the reason there are so many ties in my opinion is because both verses have similar content. i wish that there could have been a more creative route taken on both sides. vote goes to Phe barely edging it. good battle.

[Revan]

4-2 Skillz atm.

[Anonymity]

Rhyming Scheme &/or Flow- Intricate Skillz. Read twice and his just went better off of my tongue.

Vocabulary- Phenom.

Topic/Meaning- This was tough. Both had different topics but they fell within the same genre... I'm going to have to say Tie.

Storytelling/Progression- Phenom... As it went further and further it got better and better

Emotion- Intricate Skillz. Can re read this and say it out loud and it just seems more emotional depending on who's spitting it.

Imagery- Intricate Skillz.

Poetic Techniques- Intricate Skillz. Had that poetic touch to it.

MVGT: Inticate Skillz.

[Revan]

5-2 Skillz.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

added

tbm