Topical Tournament RD3: Intricate_Skillz (winner) vs Black-Book (loser)

[Ill Phenom]

TOPICAL TOURNAMENT 2011 ROUND 3

Intricate_Skillz (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=879213) Vs Black-Book (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=873600)

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me.

CHECK INS ARE DUE FRIDAY (10-07-11) AT 11:59PM EST. VERSES ARE DUE SUNDAY (10-09-11) AT 11:59PM. EST. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Line Length: 20-40 lines.

http://www.nerdsraging.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Straw-Dogs-2011-Movie-Teaser.jpg

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[ozark]

Gangsta- this is my check-in

[ozark]

"WINDOW TO THE SOUL"


It is believed that your eyes are inlets to your soul,
Windows of emotion, beyond a broken frame, lyes a viewers hold,
Its clear to see, this mans trapped in despair, the path to his lair,
Behind glasses, which work as a 2-way mirror,*
shards are torn, as lifes image is impaired,
The torment is clear, as flames rage his hearts lustic passion,
A lover with shatterd hopes, through a jagged lens, an optic fashion,
He stands in awe, as flashback visions pervade his mind,
To a time when their love was new, without a hinderance to find,
The visions took him back, to a place where warmth was felt in a touch,
A gush of emotion, taken in stride, never overwhelmd in a rush,
Love was embraced by youth, and tender feelings,
Bound by flesh and immortalized by kindred dealings,
Their journeys commence was sealed with a kiss,
But the years aged this bond, hatred became of the bliss,
Through time, with swift passing, their love shared was dearly missed,
Unseen by psychic eyes, the devotion was severed by tough faults,*
Feelings expressed in hallway notions, came to an abrupt hault,
Now silence portrays his life, his wife no longer finds interest *in conversation,
His heart cries out in his souls voice, his anger is humbled by patience,
His memories past, breaks through the barriers*of this mirrors glass, a second glance,
New flowers bloom on this tainted romance, another chance,
To breake free from his tortured hearts hold,*
He snaps out of his trance, and his love returns, to fix the broken window to his soul-

[ozark]

Good luck homie-

[Black Book]

Live Through My Eyes
He's had his eyes closed for twenty years. Twenty years of darkness & many fears. He misses his family, the world, & his friendly peers.
At the thought of death, he becomes frightened. So before it comes, I try to let some light in.
I'll be his eyes, & let him see this life's sweetest sights.
He's knows nothing of today. He was only 20 when he was sent away to where he's surrounded by walls of gray.
So I'll travel & take in what I see. Then convey to him views of the lively world that makes you bless the almighty.
Just so that instead of paining & of straining to hold onto his time remaining, he can look at the pictures in the framing.
He climbs from the abyss because no longer is there something amiss. Everything feels right, so he makes a wish. He wants to see his daughter blow him a kiss.
As his eyes, I make the travel down a country road with my tires kicking up gravel. I pull up to a farm, seeing the chickens & the cattle. There she is sitting on a horse's saddle.
I take the picture & go to write of it because, you see? This just is how I let my brother see the world while on death row for a crime he didn't commit.
I'm his eyes that let him step in this world to give his own inspection before he receives the lethal injection.

[ozark]

Respect for posting today also- good shit fam and good luck

[Wigsplit]

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow- Intricate took this cat
Vocabulary- Intricate
Topic/Meaning- Tie, both was good, had real nice stories
Storytelling/Progression- Intricate edged it, both had good shit, but I was diggin Skillz a lil more
Emotion- Intricate, another close one, but Skillz had it here
Imagery- Tie, both painted good pictures
Poetic Techniques- Intricate Skillz
Ending- Tie, I liked how both ended it, yall was dope with it

MVGT- Intricate Skillz, his topical was deep to me, he started and ended really well, it went with the pic real good, BB had a dope ass concept too, I really liked his story, but I was jus feelin Intricates more, good battle from both, n good luck

[Revan]

Ohh shit tho.


Rhyming Scheme/Flow: One of the most clear cut of the catagories, this dude was clearly stronger - Book.

Vocabulary: Again fairly one sided - Skillz.

Topic/Meaning: Weird one, i felt Book had a fresher spin on the picture whilst Skillz's piece related better with it. Fuck it - TIE.

Storytelling/Progression: Another hard one to decide. Again i think - TIE.

Emotion: Cunts. lol another catagory very close. I think one edged this tho - Book.

Imagery: I think Skillz managed to be a lil more descriptive with his drop, Books piece felt more real though. Nah cant call it. - TIE.

Poetic Techniques: I think Skillz unleashed a bigger arsonal of poetic techniques in this one. - Skillz.

Ending: Again close, but i felt ones payoff was a bit better. - Book.


Overview: Catagories didnt help, so i can only judge on the complete pieces. Skillz has been a major darkhorse in this tourney, his drop was deep and used some nice vocab. Book came with flow and some real nice storytelling. I guess this one is gonna be down to voters preference, personally i just felt ones drop a lil more. Like a LILLLL more lol. Wish both could go thru tbh.

My Vote Goes To: Book.

[Ill Phenom]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Tie - TBH both slipped with the flow in certain spots so I have to give it a tie.
Vocabulary - Skillz - Book came a bit basic here with the word usage that he normally does and skillz stepped it up in this category.
Topic/Meaning - Tie - Both of the meanings conveyed here were pretty dope, def. liked the concepts that were brought to the table. Skillz with the more heart-touched emotions, as Book had the views from being secluded inside a prison.
Storytelling/Progression - Intricate - Slighty edged this. I felt that he was better in transition. Black Book seemed a bit repetitive for me (he's had his eyes, ill be his eyes, im his eyes, as his eyes) if you catch my drift the stages of the story all seemed to have that same transition there, felt it took away from the progression a bit.
Emotion - Tie - It's close. I can see the emotion from both angles on this one.
Imagery - Book - Book def. painted the better picture here. Although skillz wording seemed a bit better to me, book had the actual image that pulls you into the seen with him.
Poetic Techniques - Skillz - Skillz verse def. had more of a poetic feel to it with the way he wrote it.
Ending - Skillz - I felt that books kind of ended on the spot for me. I felt that it was just chopped in half, that last line didn't put a close to for me. It was still a close one on the ending, but because of that, I think skillz edged this cat.

Skillz GMV. Great battle from both. Liked both of the concepts brought here. I felt skillz executed his better, as Book brought the better idea to the table, but his verse seemed a bit rushed to me. Also book watch your lines, I'll count the title and the word in. as a line, but if not you went under the limit. Overall... Propz to both and stay up!

[Black Book]

I guess we have a different format? Cuz it shows up as 24 lines excluding the title on mine.

[ozark]

Are you on your phone fam

[Ill Phenom]

I guess we have a different format? Cuz it shows up as 24 lines excluding the title on mine.

Maybe that's why, Only mentioned it cause I had a few people ask me about the line length thing.

[Black Book]

Yeah, I'm on my iPhone.

[ozark]

Ok thats y then fam- mines like 23 or 24 and it said like 30 on my phone- thats y all my formats are outta wackk- i save errything to my notepad the copy and paste so i'll have a copy of it- and the formats always fucked- next time- send a comment in the forum from ya phone thrn peep it on the desk top or lap- and count how many words basically is one line on either- so u have a better understading- sry for rambling im
Just drunk-

[Mind Fuck]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow: This was tough for me. Both had some up and down points where i felt they let up then other points where i felt it picked back up. Also both got a tad choppy in places where words were a tad forced but MYGT: Book

Vocabulary: For me this category was a no brainer MVGT: Skills

Topic/Meaning: Now this gets a little tricky here. I really liked both schemes, Meaning became evident earlier in one piece rather than the other. And i believe that edged them out in this category, MVGT: Book

Storytelling/Progression: Once again, I very enjoyed both stories. On one hand i liked one's better because it introduced the story immeaditly to let you know what you're getting into. the other began with Imagery, which isn't bad, it just doesn't leave you anything to take from it initially. Tough decision. MVGT: Book

Emotion: Felt deep emotion in both... But to me one maintained it from beginning to end with more of a bleeding heart feel. MVGT: Skills

Imagery: This is another tought catagory. In books story i felt he painted the actuall storyline pictures better with a good story line that followed thorughly. But, not to say skills didn't have imagery. he started wit it and ended with it, while maintain it throughout the whole piece.... Idn, i think this comes down to preference people. MVGT: Book

Poetic Techniques: This catgory also in my book was pretty easy. Ones storytelling lead them a tad astray from this catgroy IMO... MVGT: Skills

Ending: Suprise factor is what took this catagory for me. In ones piece the ending was a tad expected, nicely written, but no WoW factor. Whwere in the other the story progressed leading up to what you inevitably learn in the end. MVGT: Book

Very close battle here fellas. But in the end... MYGT: Black Book (barely)

[Ill Phenom]

Battle is 2-2 now. Keep the votes coming in on this.

[Luke Eamiah]

Rhyme Scheme Flow: Black
Vocab- skillz
topic-black
emotion-black
sotrytelling/progression- skillz
emotion- black
imagery- skillz
poet techniques- skillz \
Ending- skillz

It was a VERY close. call. But one surprised me here. My vote goes to skillz.

[Mind Fuck]

Rhyme Scheme Flow: Black
Vocab- skillz
topic-black
emotion-black
sotrytelling/progression- skillz
emotion- black
imagery- skillz
poet techniques- skillz \
Ending- skillz

It was a VERY close. call. But one surprised me here. My vote goes to skillz.

I think you should HAVE to provide at least a small expo

Instead of

black
skills
black...

Thats just me

[Luke Eamiah]

*sigh* had shit to do today, but since MF thinks I'm a fucking BS voter, I'll give an expo.

Rhyme scheme/flow- Although Black book was choppy with his scheme at the beginning, he leveled out over the writing while Intricate was taking more of a Robert Frost poetic approach.

Vocab- This is self explanatory. I thought skillz was more consistent in the usage of more intricate(no pun intended) words.

Topic- This was easily blacks IMO. I gave it to black because his concept was MUCH more meaning and thought into his concept compared to skillz rather obvious assumption.

Emotion- I think Black took this one kinda easily. His was more personal which always makes it hit harder.

Storytelling/progression- I thought intricate took this because he led up to a point by setting it up in the beginning, whereas Black stated his view of the picture in the first line instead of slowly leading up to the story.

Imagery- I think Skills took this one rather easily. His use of descriptive words painted a vivid picture in my mind. As I could see what black was saying, I don't think he painted a VIVID picture through description as Skillz did.

Poet Techniques- I think Skillz to this one easily, too. I think this is the most obvious category. While Black was telling a story, Intricate's rhyme REALLY felt like you were reading a poem.

Ending- VERY CLOSE. The lethal injection line was a great ending but I liked the fact intricate LED UP to the point, but looking at the category ENDING itself, I'll have to give it a tie instead.

MVGT: Intricate. IMO it felt as if intricate took it more seriously and delivered a better, more poetic all around topical. I felt as if Black book tried to simplify it too much near the middle and end.

PM me if yall want any more details.

[Xander]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow- Honestly, I think Intricate got it. He had a much smoother read.
Vocabulary- Black Book, better choice of words to use.
Topic/Meaning- Black Book, I liked the idea of his story more.
Storytelling/Progression- Intricate, better story telling skills.
Emotion- Intricate.
Imagery- Intricate.
Poetic Techniques- BB
Ending- Intricate

MVGT--- Intricate skills, he showed alot more skills in this, better rhyme scheme, a better story (although black had a better idea) and he made it look and feel like I was in the story. Good verses from both sides.

[ozark]

Uppin tha thread

[Revan]

Tied a 3-3 atm.

First to 5 picks up the W.

[Capitalist]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow: Book, I felt he didn't fall off as much as intricate did but it wasn't that bad on both sides at all. Barely edged.
Vocabulary: Skillz, felt it was pretty clear in this one.
Topic/Meaning: Skillz, I felt he had a deep topical all around.
Storytelling/Progression: Skillz, close call here but imo he edged it.
Emotion: Skillz, as I said before, deep topical all around.
Imagery: Book, saw lots of it in his drop.
Poetic Techniques: Book, came really well in this category and got this to me.
Ending: Skillz, I felt his opener and closer were a great part in his topical.

Vote: Intricate.

[ozark]

Ummm im winnin 5-2 rule

[Revan]

ma bad, 5-2 it is. Skillz wins, battle closed.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

tbm

added