TOPICAL TOURNAMENT RD 2: Deep|Prose(Loser) vs Intricate skillz (Winner) 4-1TKO

[Ill Phenom]

TOPICAL TOURNAMENT 2011 ROUND 2

Deep|Prose (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=873349) Vs Intricate Skillz (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=879213)

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me.

CHECK INS ARE DUE WEDNESDAY (09-28-11) AT 11:59PM EST. VERSES ARE DUE SATURDAY (10-01-11) AT 11:59PM. EST. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Line Length: 20-40 lines.

http://bluefaqs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Fire.jpg

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[ozark]

hmmmmm, i think this one will be tuff, might i ask what they are setting on fire
but CHECKERS

[Ill Phenom]

It all depends on what you see it as

[Prose_]

checkin in...

[ozark]

"BURNING STONE THOUGHTS"


In a somber mind, monumental thoughts dwell,
Burning, inferno'd by plagues of unconventional nights hell,
spells captured, in minds image, flames engulfed,
Surround my brains layer, like a table an cloth,
My lifes memory, is that of stone templates,*
Statuesque figures, to that of a struggles remembrance,
Its a dreams escape, caped with fear of not knowing,
As u can see clear, these demons fight with might glowin,
As one is cloaked with a robe, to signify priority,
One is de robed, to persway my thoughts of not informing me,
Yet my mind stands firm, as this statue alone, symbolizes minority?
The devils own, tries to mold contortions amongst flesh,
But the meditation of mind, body and soul, words kept silent, a monks breath,
Its a solid core, explored by outter anguish,
These flames roll rampant,the agony endured is painless,
Yet it burns, vaguely through raven black visions,
Like ghost in hollowed walls, these thoughts remain stone apparitions,
Incisions start to creep, along the creases like ancient scrolls,*
They Comtinue till i release these demons from acheing souls,
these ghouls that spew fuel are merely lost,
only divine beings, who are trapped, BURNING STONE THOUGHTS.

[Prose_]

they use to worship me as an idol, kissed my ass with service see? and a smile
but now they're all burnin me with their fire...
i cried in sadness... they never heard the screams... they were stifled

every single one of the villagers below as im blazin
use to praise me in holy celebration in hopes that their souls would be saved in
heaven... i was the god that controlled their little fates and
was almighty!!! BEHOLD THE GOD OF AGES!!!

they use to bow and press right up under my feet
because they were blessed by the presence of me!!!
they'd invade places of other faiths... with my crest stitched upon their sleeves... forced them to convert... if not they cut off the heads of those who didnt believe!!

then one mourning i heard talk over yonder
of a new religion with a god who could walk upon water.
his name was Jesus Kites or something of sorts
and there was a story of him giving crumbs to the poor
people of a whole town using one loave of bread... and my followers complaint
"our god's never done that before!"

soon talked of more stories of this new religion
how it was wonderful and those who followed it were called christians
how the whole world was converting with it!!!

then they gathered around me... each one heating a torch
preaching and screaming "your not needed anymore!!
for we are now christians and shall burn you with hatred!! damn you!!
for in the bible it is a sin to praise a statue!!"

they lit me and as i blackened and flamed to ashes
as my wooden supports and bases crashes
i realize i am no longer a god or an idol... i whimpered
"i am not a god... i am now but a pile of cinders"....

END

[ozark]

Upping- fools

[ozark]

upping again

[Wigsplit]

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow-Skillz got this catagory, he flowed better imo
Vocabulary-Skillz had quite the vocab in this one
Topic/Meaning-Tie, both had good concepts, its too hard to pick whose meaning was more meaningful lol
Storytelling/Progression-Deep Prose kept the story goin a bit smoother, Skillz had me thinkin, I had to go back n read it again to take it all in lol
Emotion-Deep, another close one tho
Imagery-Actually, Skillz painted a really good picture, one of my favorite lines was These flames roll rampant,the agony endured is painless,
Yet it burns, vaguely through raven black visions, Def nice imagery there
Poetic Techniques-Skillz got this dept
Ending-Deep took the ending, close for sure, but I was likin the jesus shit a lil more

MVGT- Intricate Skillz, he had a more deeper verse imo, and it flowed better, had a better vocab imo, and made ya think a lil more, which aint always a good thing, but thats in the readers opinion, Deep Prose, I def liked your shit, nice story, good ideas, I jus felt one was more on point this time, good battle yall, n good luck

[IV]

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary- Both were nice, but skillz edged it
Topic/Meaning- enjoyed the meaning of prose, i think he went for something a little different, think it fitted well and i enjoyed it a little more
Storytelling/Progression- both were good, i feel that prose won this section because he had more of a story line
Emotion- skillz got this, was a really deep read good job
Imagery- both were on the same sort of level, although i could picture prose slightly more
Poetic Techniques- this is difficult because they were both so different and hard to compare, Prose flowed really nicely, skillz was more complex with his scheme, TIE?
Ending- i think both wrapped their story up nicely, but i'll give this to prose because he really finished the story he was telling

Over all my vote goes to DEEP PROSE because he came with something different, i enjoyed it, it flowed nicely, nice emotion and a good story line. Was really close though! good job..

[Mayneak]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Intricate...Both had a decent flow but felt I_S was a little smoother.
Vocabulary - Intricate...Felt he had more of a detailed verse in terms of Vocab, embraced me a little more also.
Topic/Meaning - Deep...Close one to call, but i felt Prose kept up with the meaning behind the picture a little better.
Storytelling/Progression - Deep...co-sign with wigsplit, both were good in this cat
Emotion - Intricate...Both had deep emotion involved but Skillz edged it with more detail.
Imagery - Deep...Good Imagery from both but Deep's was a little easier to follow and put the story behind the picture
Poetic Techniques - Intricate...Showed more versatility throughout his verse
Ending - Intricate...Possibly the hardest cat to pick a winner from, both had a pretty solid ending but felt Skillz was a little more in depth

Overall: Solid reads from both, two different approaches, liked the God direction Deep took, also liked the direction Skillz took. Deep had the more simplistic style which worked nicely & made the story a little easier to follow. Skillz went for a more complex style which he pulled off well. Close one to call but after counting up the cat breakdown. Vote goes to: Intricate_Skillz. Good shit. :high:

[Ill Phenom]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Skillz - This was a close cat. I Felt the style that Deep prose used at times made the flow awkward for me while reading it.
Vocabulary - Skillz - Again another close cat. But he consistantly had good vocab throughout his whole verse.
Topic/Meaning - Prose - I liked both of these, I felt Prose had the slight edge in this cat. Very close though.
Storytelling/Progression - Prose - Agreed with what Wig had said about having to go back and read skillz to take it all in. Felt proses came through more fluently.
Emotion - Tie - Close cat. Neither of you edged out the cat.
Imagery - Skillz - I felt the wording that skillz used painted a better picture for the topic he brought. There were points in his verse were you can see exactly what he wanted you to.
Poetic Techniques - Skillz - This part of the verse was very good in this aspect. Both took different approaches but skillz did bring a more poetic approach
As one is cloaked with a robe, to signify priority,
One is de robed, to persway my thoughts of not informing me,
Yet my mind stands firm, as this statue alone, symbolizes minority?
Ending - Prose - I felt that both could have ended their drops a bit better, but prose gets this for his last 4 lines. His seemed to have more of a closing feeling to it.

Very close battle here. I am leaning more towards Skillz On this one.

[RhetoriK]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Intricate Skillz,

Vocabulary - Intricate Skillz

Topic/Meaning - Deep Prose

Storytelling/Progression - Deep Prose

Emotion - Intricate Skillz

Imagery - Intricate Skillz

Poetic Techniques - Intricate Skillz

Ending - Deep Prose

Well matched battle. I really liked the creative angles taken by both. I feel that the storyline was stronger from prose, but the development, description, and imagery were stronger with Intricate. The word choice and verbage at times were a deadlock, but ISkillz was more consistent. Prose had the better ending of the two. When his ended I felt that I had read a story from end to end. With Int's I wanted more when it was over. Thats a powerful difference in storytelling and its has to be a careful descision by the author when picking angles creativley. Loved the reads.

Vote-Intricate Skillz

[Ill Phenom]

4-1 TKO. Intricate Skillz moves on

[ozark]

Ill make sure to step my game up next round- thanx for the honest feed yall-

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

tbm

added