TOPICAL TOURNAMENT RD 2: DonoTheGod(winner) vs Mayneak (loser)

[Ill Phenom]

TOPICAL TOURNAMENT 2011 ROUND 2

DonoTheGod (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=879211) Vs Mayneak (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=50811)

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me.

CHECK INS ARE DUE WEDNESDAY (09-28-11) AT 11:59PM EST. VERSES ARE DUE SATURDAY (10-01-11) AT 11:59PM. EST. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Line Length: 20-40 lines.

http://bluefaqs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Heart.jpg

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[Dono]

Waiter,

Check please


E: Can I get her number? She's lookin kinda good.

[ozark]

damn yall muahfuckaz got a gangsta easy ass pic for the round

[Mayneak]

Check...I'll more than likely post Thursday or Friday...Good luck fam :high:

[Dono]

http://bluefaqs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Heart.jpg

Girls night out at the bar, life changes sprouting up scars
Unhappy, my issues with fate left me doubting the stars
Then he approached with charm, physique and I could hardly speak
Later that night our lips met and it made my body weak
Forever bliss, I knew he was the last I'd ever kiss
Such joy in store, had other boys before but never this
Soon our connection founded a stable relationship
So amazing I thought a writer of fables created this
Protected from harms my feelings evolved rapidly
In his arms my previous problems dissolved happily
An attraction catalyst, he acted so compassionate,
My perfect life story seemed lacking an antagonist
Then one day he wanted to take it farther physically
Into him but not ready for him to be into me
Said no, and in an instant he was reddened and enraged
Big smack, felt a rib crack in his second of rampage
Pondering violence, awkward silence, quiet apology
Bandages over the damages, hide the atrocity
Product of biology and psychology, I forgave
Promised it was a one time thing and that he'd behave
Time passed, the memory faded, we were together nightly
Fixed nicely is this what love feels like? It might be
Then one day our passion got heated in the night time
He wanted sex but I told him it still wasn't the right time
Tried to leave but he tightened his grip until it hurt
Screamed as he stripped off my shirt and ripped through my skirt
Pushed down to the carpet, locked in as his target
My feelings and emotions now all disregarded
"Please no, just stop, I remember you saying I'm treasured"
"Don't you cry bitch, You owe me, I'm not wasting my effort"
Why this? I thought we shared a special connection
Pissed now, he brought his fist down in my temple's direction
Shattered intellect in instants, my skull detects imprints
He was to be my one and only, my perfect sir prince
He hit me again and again, it all started to go dark
But the biggest causality was my exposed heart

[Mayneak]

Nancy, Dear Diary – 30/10/2011 ...

http://bluefaqs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Heart.jpg

Another day of emptiness, since you left me in a rush
At night I pray to hear your voice and also feel your touch
Too much to ask to make it last Instead of feeling crushed …
There when you needed me the most, in truth I was your crutch
Endless alcohol abuse, not to mention the violence that followed
Rows & disagreements, throat in agony every time that I swallowed
Relationship borrowed, now lies a missing heart while chest hallow
What’s promised tomorrow, Another 24 hours of stress & sorrow?
Your all I ever think about, but yet seem to be a distant memory
Im not ashamed to say you were the light that gave me energy
Enjoyed waking up beside you, and the other little things involved
The main ingredient to my pain killer until you finally dissolved
Im not suggesting you change or re-arrange the thoughts you process
It feels like im asking constant questions, like have we lost our essence?
Worth another shot? Or lost momentum once the talks settled …
All I want is a relationship without the repercussions and consequences
To get you back where you belong will always be my main mission
I wish you could make the same decision & change how were living
Doesn’t have to feel like a unforgiving prison, unwilling to be giving
If I don’t have you back in my life, my heart & life will remain missing.

[Ill Phenom]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Tie Both did pretty well in this cat
Vocabulary Tie - Again both shined very very well in this cat. I like the vocab from the both of you.
Topic/Meaning - Tie - In the end, both of you had the same overall meaning that love' is missing, exposed heart. Both went with the picture well.
Storytelling/Progression - Dono - Had more of a progression throughout his story from finding the guy, the feeling safe/emotionally attached to the rape and beating and exposing the heart. May's had more of a progressive topical rather a storytelling, but from beginning to end I felt dono' did a bit better job with this cat.
Emotion - Dono - May's seemed to have the same aspect of the same emotion through out his drop. Where as dono had several different emotions, from sorrow, to happy, safety and warmth, to scared and threatened. He did a very good job portraying all of these emotions.
Imagery - Tie - Dono' had more lines so he of course had more imagery in his verse, but with the overall picture I have painted from both, I can't give an edge to the other in this cat. Liked the progression that dono' painted throughout his story and may had a bit of a remnisant picture there.
Poetic Techniques - Tie.. According to metaphors and poetic approach I felt both stayed in the same direction with their topic related to the picture.
Ending - Tie - TBH both of these endings were predictable. I felt dono's overall ending was a bit better but should have been worded better, and may's wasn't as good as dono's but was worded better lol, If you can understand that.

DONO GMV.
This was another great read from both. I enjoyed both of these verses.

[Wigsplit]

I dropped a mofuckin fair, idk where the fuck it went, I guess I'll do it over goddamnit lol

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow- Dono, I really liked Mays at the start, but it kinda edged off jus a teeny bit imo, Dono's flowed really well, its dammn close, maybe jus a preference
Vocabulary-Tie, both have an awesome vocab at there arsonal
Topic/Meaning- Tie, both was dope and stayed on topic imo
Storytelling/Progression-Dono, his story had more substance to it? It went a long from beg to end really well, Mayneaks did too, but didnt put you in the situation like Donos did
Emotion-Dono, Like I said, he kinda put you right in the mix, so you could feel it as it went along
Imagery-Dono, he painted his story really well, I aint takin nothin from Mayneak tho, his shit was dope too
Poetic Techniques-Tie
Ending-Dono, I think Dono ended his on a really good note lol, Mayneaks ended good too, but I wasnt waiting for it like I was Donos, he had me on edge I spose

MVGT-DonoTheGod, he told an excellent story from this chicks point of view, and he made you wanna know what happened next, Mays was awesome as well, I was jus feelin Donos that much more, good battle, and good luck

[ozark]

Ok before i start the voting guideline- imma say this was a great battle and very close- good shit yall-

Rhyming Scheme/Flow- both were really good here- this was a tie- i followed both verses very easily.
Vocabulary- once again a tie- good vocab from both-
Topic/Meaning- i have to go with DONO here- i connected with his topic a bit better-
Storytelling/Progression- DONO- both were good but i felt pleased with his story-
Emotion- tie- i feel both were full of emotion
Imagery- DONO- i felt he painted a better image of his topical- though MAY did a fantastic job also-
Poetic Techniques- tie- both had a poetic swag to their verses- good job fellas
Ending- DONO- i felt satisfied after reading through his ending- MAY i felt that i needed to know more-

After reading both verses- which were both really nice reads-
MVGT DONO- i felt he did enough to win here- good drops from both-

[Ill Phenom]

3-0 KO good battle famo's.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

added

tbm