TOPICAL TOURNAMENT RD 2: Mikey Dinero(Loser) vs Ill Phenom (winner)

[Ill Phenom]

TOPICAL TOURNAMENT 2011 ROUND 2

Mikey Dinero (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=89693) Vs Ill Phenom (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=883314)

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me.

CHECK INS ARE DUE WEDNESDAY (09-28-11) AT 11:59PM EST. VERSES ARE DUE SATURDAY (10-01-11) AT 11:59PM. EST. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Line Length: 20-40 lines.

http://www.prolifeamerica.com/4d-ultrasound-pictures/images/MichaelClancyPhoto.jpg

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[Ill Phenom]

Check ins....

[Mikey DeNiro]

checkidy check.

[Ill Phenom]

A baby in the womb.

[Revan]

Pic is crack.

[Ill Phenom]

Breaking The Habit

Beep.. beep.. beep... I Swing My Hand over and Hit the Alarm Clock
Look over.. And Move his Hand and his Arm Off.
Throw On The Clothes, as fast as I'm Able, take my socks of the floor
Grab the money on the table and walk out the door
Just to get more white like chalk on the board
Not realizing the effects for my life and pregnancy
and I become Numb, I try to fight it Heavily, This sightless penalty
Next thing you know I'm hooked to Oxygen, IV's On A stretcher
About 5 minutes Contraction Start, As If this Tim-ing couldn't get better
In The Midst of the thoughts that My baby and I won't make it this time
Through Prostitution, The Shit that I've Caught and Taking those Lines
I realize that if I some how make it, I'll get a job and maybe an Online education
A new Home, A good life for My Kid.. My God.. I know it's time for these changes
I've been trapped in this wall of hell, consuming my future
like I'm stuck in a gash behind Unmoveable Sutures
As I recognize my fate, and started my thought process: and Begun the Hoping
then I hear the Doctor: "We are going to have to cut her stomach Open"
Lights get dim, The doctor takes the surgical knife and creates an incision
My Merciful Life w/ the Break in my Vision
The Blood seeps Out, The Doctor: We May Save the Baby In Time without doubt
As My Own life begins to dim, and the Heart moniter line Straightens out
They Pull out the Uterus, And the Trapped NewBorn, gravitates in distance
And I realized, that I have to Adequate my living
But I left the Earth As I Got One Hand Out the Womb That Captivates my existance

[Mikey DeNiro]

i'm 'Inna Course' to self Destruct In da Streets
So Of Course i say Fuck Industry
That Bitch Cheated On Hip Hop... fuck Women these Days.
Traded In a good relationship for Gettin Some Play
Hip Hop Was So Infuriated because of how she Laid'm Off
then he met karma thats how this Plan came along
See Hip Hop Was Chilling, Under The Radar
Karma said You need to Retaliate On That Dame Dawg
He's thinkin I Know But How? So He Popped Her The Question
she Said You'll Hurt'er the Worse to rape her without Proper Protection
so this is the strategy he came up With
he Changed His Appearance And Disguised Himself As a Club Hit
So one Night he Saw Her at the Local Spot, Booty Swoll Up
so he came up with some Lines To Move In Closer
baby I'm a Bartender So Let Me Buy You a Drink
Poppin bottles enough Alcohol Inside'her he Thinks
lets go Back To The Crib, still with the intentions from when first came
she said cool, told'her to open wide like its Her Birthday
Removed His Mask, And Started Raping The Slut
She was Screaming So Now he's Taping Her up
he told her relaxed it would Hurt To Fight It
so what you seein 9 Months Later Is The Birth Of Mike Kids.
Industry's My Mother, She a Slut so its Worth that Kind Of Hating
and Hip Hops My Father So I'm The Perfect Combination.
so thats my story. now i mix Bars into Hits
and this was also a story of how Karmas a Bitch

[Wigsplit]

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow- Mikey, both was dope with it tho
Vocabulary- Ill, he took this without a doubt
Topic/Meaning- Ill, his had more meaning to it, not takin nothin from Mikey, who had an excellent drop, Ills was jus more real to me, I felt Mikeys shit tho, it didnt relate to the topic as well tho
Storytelling/Progression- Ill, I hung on more to see what was gonna happen, Mikey had me there too, but I didnt feel as drawn in
Emotion- Ill, it was a tearjerker, come on!! lol
Imagery- Ill, painted the better picture in this one
Poetic Techniques- Ill
Ending- Ill, the ending was close tho, Mikeys ending was dope, I feel as if the emotion that Ill brought took it tho

MVGT- Ill Phenom, dope ass drop, good imagery, heartfelt emotion lol, but it was, and Mikey had a bomb ass drop too, but his wasnt as on topic as Ills tho, I can see his being a tight ass track, Good shit from both, creative and dope

[Prose_]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow- for me it was rocky for both... tie
Vocabulary- this ones down the middle as well. tie
Topic/Meaning- i felt that Phe kinda kept wit the topic better. barely took
Storytelling/Progression-Mike Moved his Story more clearly
Emotion- Phe
Imagery- Mike... i saw the club better then i did the surgical room
Poetic Techniques- Mike... The metaphor of industry, hip hop, karma, etc. really struck
Ending- Mike... Phe's was a little predictable. Close tho.

Vote: Mike, His read was more enjoyable. good looks to both tho. nice one here.

[ozark]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow-i think both were good here, it was close in this cata, so this is a tie
Vocabulary- phe got this cata, md didnt have many things that stood out.
Topic/Meaning- imma go with phe on this one also....i feel he was closer to the topic meaning. thoughh i liked MD's angle of it.
Storytelling/Progression-this was a tie...both told nice storys...
Emotion- this was a tie also...both showed alot of emotion here....
Imagery- this also was a tie....i got good images from both emotional aspects.
Poetic Techniques- i feel phe takes this cata, his was more poetic imo...
Ending- i feel like MD's ending was ehhh, phes ending was ok, so tie

mvgt PHENOM

[Mind Fuck]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow: Mikey, Ill had multis for days but it knocked the flow a tad. Mikey was a smooth reading all the way through.

Vocabulary: Phenom, felt his vivid descriptions encapsulated his story better and inevitably gave it more "Ummf"

Topic/Meaning: Phenom, easily IMO. Mikey had a niice read no doubt. But, it lacked that poetic feel to it. Where phenom had that covered basically the whole time

Storytelling/Progression: This was close, Phenom. By a hair i give it to illy, because i dont know about yins but i really enjoyed mikeys piece. but felt phenoms had more depth which lead to a more pleasureable read.

Emotion: Phenom. felt it was just rawer and more powerful in all emotional aspects. mikey had a running to win this catagory but showed up a little short in my eyes. Reading it seems Ill spent a tad more time perfecting it.

Imagery: Phenom, he painted a vivid picture line after line. Mikey had the story going, but lacked that poetic luster.

Poetic Techniques: Phenom, as i said in my last explanation. To me Mikey lacked that poetic lust that drives these topicals. His story to me was more comedic than deep. Flowed preicsly but didn't habe the content to take this catagory.

Ending: Phenom, his had a deep underlying meaning which is unveiled to the reader at the end. Where mikey had a dope ending but it seemed more trackish then topicalish to me. Good reads on both sides fellows but....

MVGT: Ill Phenom

[Just C]

I was going to vote. then I started laughing at Mikeys "wtf is that?" and "Oh I thought it was a heart" comments. Then I realized me n Mikey both Alpha. So I can't vote. And even If I am allowed. I wouldn't fel comfortable doing so. G/L fellas

[Ill Phenom]

Dammit!! Jus.. :guns: :monkey:

[Revan]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow- Mikey (Edged)
Vocabulary- Flow
Topic/Meaning- Flow (Edged)
Storytelling/Progression- Flow (Edged)
Emotion- Flow
Imagery- Flow
Poetic Techniques- Flow
Ending- Flow (Edged)

The catagories make it look much more clear cut than it actually was. Both pieces overall were really great, and this is by far the bst battle of the tourney so far. But the catagories have spoken.

MVGT: IAmFlow.

[ozark]

Lol y did he vote for iamflow lol

[Ill Phenom]

I am flow.

[Dizz Da Dogg]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow-i think both were good here, it was close in this cata, so this is a tie
Vocabulary- phe got this cata, md didnt have many things that stood out.
Topic/Meaning- imma go with phe on this one also....i feel he was closer to the topic meaning. thoughh i liked MD's angle of it.
Storytelling/Progression-this was a tie...both told nice storys...
Emotion- this was a tie also...both showed alot of emotion here....
Imagery- this also was a tie....i got good images from both emotional aspects.
Poetic Techniques- i feel phe takes this cata, his was more poetic imo...
Ending- i feel like MD's ending was ehhh, phes ending was ok, so tie

mvgt PHENOM

Co-sign this one hunnid.

Mvgt Ill.

[ozark]

Oooo i didnt know lol

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

added

tbm