Round 1: Straight Edge Vs Verity (Verity Wins Via 3-0 KO)

[UnEtHıCaL]

Straight Edge (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=883223) Vs Verity (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=35775)
Letsbeef Topical Tournament 2011 Round 1

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me.

CHECK INS ARE DUE FRIDAY (09-16-11) AT 11:59PM PST. VERSES ARE DUE WEDNESDAY (09-21-11) AT 11:59PM. NO EXCEPTIONS.
(Note: Deadlines are 1 week due to Sandman's tournament round. Other rounds will be shorter)

Line Length: 20-40 lines.

http://c.asstatic.com/images/Abbott-8838-Fantastic-Pictures-fantastic-pictures-images-photos-45508-22163-ppt-powerpoint-118_88.jpg

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[Capitalist]

I'll have my verse in.. checked in

[IV]

Checking in! Good luck edge!

[Capitalist]

MOTHA MONSTA

Crack, weed, needles, tears and screams of many, we all Hear It
Resurrected from the dead ones, containing the devils Spirit
Wonder, worry, and fear as we hear her own children Cry
Night time striker as we hear the young and innocent Die
Children never pampered, grown up or had a meal for Supper
Although in the cold hearted women, they found a part to Love Her
They just want a mother, one who is caring and Loving
Shes gone crazed over her issues n feens for the Money
Was once intelligent, wrong path caused her to forget when she was So Smart
Now all thats left is a crazed mother, addicted to drugs, with a Cold Heart
We wonder what flows through the mind once we See Her
Noticing her red eyes and her other monsterous Features
Her children abused, but there still alive and have the story to Tell
The stories of how she once was an angel, sent straight into Hell
She was raised in misery, and was crazed from the Start
Jealously and rage had her swipe a life, stealing a Heart
Always doing the wrong thing, Comitted Three Crimes
Drugs, Conduct and child abuse had her Convited Three Times
Babies weak and defenseless, as her beatings were Lethal
As they Cry stare in the Eyes of someone so Evil
She once said she never forgiven her mother, forgetting the times We Had
Which led her to the wrong path, doing drugs, and rejected Rehab
Raped and abused, as she forcefully had given birth to Six
To strong for abortion, so slit their throats as she gave them a Kiss
Always on the road, as lighting strikes and the Thunders Loud
Looking for another bistander to drag to the Underground
She was always loner, saying she always wanted someone With Me
Though she was friendless as she dropped outta school at only Fifteen
Money hungry, out to rob or go and be maken a Killen
Though it all went to drugs, as she neglected her Children
Then on one sunny day, something has Happened
Someone wanted this ended, and was up for the Challenge
Sent from heaven, struck this creature twice, as he Let Her Fell
Begging and pleading, as she was dragged down to the debts of Hell
As good always prevails, gifting the caring and Lovers
It took ending a life, but of this monster Mother..

Took this picture and found a bit of a different topic to use with it... Enjoy.. Good luck Verity.

[IV]

A mothers pride

As she crawls across the peaceful scene, hanging from her mouth, you won’t believe
A beautiful baby boy, she keeps him safe, he helps her breath
Unconditional love, commissioned from god, the start of a journey confronts her
She stands like a lion, protective and proud, no father to help her, no hunter
Alone she’ll give the baby a fine youth, the pain, the struggle would surprise you
Too much abuse, she been lied to? Define truth, when there’s nobody beside you
The father left after all the bullshit and the lies, abortion, that’s what he tried
Now the mother letting no harm come to her child, you can see caution in her eyes
She does a good job, she does it daily, she’ll never give up, not if, not when, not maybe
It’s her and the baby, nobody else will be allowed in they want to stay free
Because freedoms a gift, they’ll make it through if it means three dif’rent shifts
She gives him everything he could ever want, he just gives her a reason to live
They don’t have any material things, their small apartment is cold and damp
The walls are paper thin, you hear all the wind, it’s okay when she holds his hand
His first days of school tomorrow, she’s been planning it, she’ll show him the way
He picks up his back pack, his sandwiches, she is scared their hands will grow further away
The years fly by, he’s at junior high, shows no love for his mother don’t wanna be that guy
He’s growing up, he needs to leave her wings, and he needs to fly
School, soon it’s ended, she’s so proud she engraves a silver pendant
He wants to do the things all his friends did, she needs to learn he’s independent
He learns to drive which makes a start, he goes out all night it breaks her heart
She’s home alone, he’s been gone hours, she’s worried sick, it’s late it’s dark
She goes to look for him, on the road she sees lines and marks
Flashing lights in the distance, she runs towards them and finds his car
He’s on the floor, she’s sees him flash through the years, her hearts racing, no breath
He takes an inhale, he tells her he loves her, she can’t see through the tears, she's facing his death
In his eyes she see’s fear, she talks about memories, the happy the sad, tries to force out a laugh
But her baby is dying, the future will never be, how’s this happening it’s mad, she pours out her heart
She whispers the feeling only of a mother, I’ll be right there with you, I’m not crazy you’ll see
I love you forever, I’ll need you for always, forever and ever, my baby you’ll be

[IV]

Please read all the way through! The last line is famous one! Good topical straight edge let's hope it gets some good fair votes

[Capitalist]

Thanks Verity... Good luck and good drop.. Hope for some fair votes now.

[Black Book]

Rhymescheme/Flow = Tie. Both had good flow & the same level of complexity w/ their rhymeschemes. So I'll just leave this category a tie.
Vocabulary = Verity. Verity slightly edged this. An extremely close category here.
Topic/Meaning = Edge. I feel Edge related his piece to the picture better. The picture gives the vibe of a bad mother, which he depicted. Verity painted more of a picture that depicts a loving mother. Edge just related to the picture better.
Storytelling/Progression = Verity. Again, an extremely close category, but I feel Verity's plot moved along better, & had more elements in it.
Emotion = Verity. Verity barely edges this category too. I felt Edge delivered good emotion, but Verity's last few lines had such good emotion that it took the category.
Imagery = Tie. Both delivered the same amount of imagery. Verity's ending made me want to lean towards them, but it wasn't really enough to break the tie in this category.
Poetic Techniques = Edge. I think Edge just barely got this category. Neither delivered much w/ poetic techniques, but I think Edge did a little more.
Ending = Verity. Edge came w/ a good ending, but Verity's just came to a conclusion much better. It left you w/ a sense of satisfaction of how the story closed.
Vote = Verity. This was EXTREMELY close! Verity won the majority of the categories though, so the vote goes to them. Great battle to both.

[Sean Cron]

very dope, read them both once. gonna come back to the vote.

[BFNE CEO™]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow::EDGE Ver's line where a little lengthy...it still flowed well, but Edge's flowed smoother
Vocabulary::TIE was close not alot of large vocab, but they both had a lil and the skill was equal
Topic/Meaning::EDGE this was a tough cat to vote on...but edge was just in another place with his meaning
Storytelling/Progression::VERITY this plot was just awesome. i loved the progression in his drop it lead up to a great ending....edge didnt progress very well even though his story was great as well i couldnt put myself in his story as well as i could Ver's
Emotion::VERITY i could feel what the mother felt in his...i got where edge was going with his but again i couldnt put myself in it....but very hard to choose in this cat also
Imagery::VERITY again i could put myself in his story...he painted a very good picture of how this story was going from begining to ended. it was a very well written drop
Poetic Techniques::EDGE hands down got this category...as good as Ver's was edge was giving a whole nother level with his...i mean the dope head mother killin her kids and all was just crazy and grotesque, but it has happened and its a touchy subject to get on i applaud you sir....
Ending::TIE i loved the build up in Ver's and i felt the ending, i was digging the realism and streetness of edges and his ending was very fitting to his story,

i dont know if we can giv tie votes if we can my vote is a TIE
but if we cant im sorry i have to flip a coin on this one......

and the vote goes to.......(drum roll)

VERITY good job both i really enjoyed reading both of your drops......

[IV]

Thanks for the educated votes! I loved straights verse think it was it was really well thought out. Just gunna drop a quick expo- the way the mother is holding the baby from her mouth is the way that dogs and cats hold their puppies and kittens, and lion cubs etc :) good battle straight could go either way still

[Eye G]

Both had nice stuffs on their way...

rthyming : Tie
Vocabulary : both were basic same level
Topic/Meaning : both were good...
Storytelling/Progression : verity
Emotion : both were on same level
Imagery : both tie
Poetic Techniques : nice from both
Ending : both were good./...

Overall : both were on same level...ma Vote goes To Verity..

[Dizz Da Dogg]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Verity
Vocabulary - Edge
Topic/Meaning - Verity
Storytelling/Progression - Verity
Emotion - Verity
Imagery - Edge
Poetic Techniques - Verity
Ending - Verity

Some cats were close but either way mvgt Verity.

[Capitalist]

4-0? I believe it's yours Verity. Pretty sure thats the rule right? Good stuff, good luck furthur in the tournament.

[IV]

I think the winner has to get 5 buddy :high:

[UnEtHıCaL]

Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO and 5-{2,3,4} Decision.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

added

tbm