Round 1: Supersonikkk Vs Ill Phenom (Ill Phenom Wins Via 3-0 KO)

[UnEtHıCaL]

Supersonikkk (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=883204) Vs Ill Phenom (http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/member.php?u=883314)
Letsbeef Topical Tournament 2011 Round 1

House Rules Apply. Any questions, contact me.

CHECK INS ARE DUE FRIDAY (09-16-11) AT 11:59PM PST. VERSES ARE DUE WEDNESDAY (09-21-11) AT 11:59PM. NO EXCEPTIONS.
(Note: Deadlines are 1 week due to Sandman's tournament round. Other rounds will be shorter)

Line Length: 20-40 lines.

http://www.acreswaycats.com/rainbow_bridge.jpg

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

GOOD LUCK

[Ill Phenom]

Checkin in on it.

[Supersonikk]

yaw B ,where i hav to post my thing??

[UnEtHıCaL]

I said PM me any questions, but regardless, you post it in here. Check the Topicals Archive to see the kind of thing we're looking for. Post the verse in this thread, and post it like..

One Line
Two Line

Not battle box style of

One Line, Two Line, Thr
ee Line, Four Line

You get me?

[Ill Phenom]

FINDING THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN


I've been traveling this place, My Whole Body, Subdued, Gone
But I kept Battling For Days, Moving My Soul Without Any Shoes On
I've Watched My Family when they Weeped and Cried as they were Droppin the News
Now I just walk through darkness with shrieks and Eye's, and Goblins And Goons
Demons Are Dreadful, The Heartless That Seek My Life for Bargains and Food
and the Legions and Devils that deplete my sight and darken my views
But I'm Keeping It Level, This Part of Me Seeks the light as an Honorable Move
Am I Clever Enough to Get Thru It? "Idk" But I'm Still Hoping Despite
The Days passed.. I'll Need Better Than Luck To Get Moving and Cope Thru Da Night
Searching Rigorously without Jennifer Love Hewitt To Show Me The Light.
Is this Purgatory? Am I in hell or being tested by the almighty god?
Is heaven just unheard of glory,that they tell, before your rested in tiny pods?
Or is the Word just Faulty, the religion they tell, just a psyche Fraud?
Answer Me Dammit! I'm Dead n 'Lost The Fight', and Even Cecil Gets To Keep Rappin
I've been hunting forever, Like when eagles ready to feed madly
Putting up with all the Evil Vessels as they reach at me.
I'm Losing faith and belief in you, Show Me a Sign Christ
The Longer I Search The More I Stay Retreating You, I can't Find Light
No Pathway Leading me To The Golden Gates
Just Wrath and Beating me until My Soul Is Old And Grey
I've Praised and Gave you Glory Throughout My Lifetime
Please God, Jesus Christ, I'm Tired, Send Me a Lifeline
As I my soul dropped to the floor, and the sorrows took over
The Sky Brighted Up, Topped with a Roar, Which Followed A closure
I peaked over the Horizon, as a Dove swooped down and Nudged me to Follow
So I leaped, went Floating and Flying, and Running thru Grotto's
Then My Life Flew Past as the sky lightened up like some usable bleach
and at the end of the path, Was bright green grass and a beautiful beach
The Bird sat at a stairway, filled with vines, blue and red roses
It spilled at this time, At last through the dead, I have been chosen
I took each step slowly treasuring my success and achievement
Thru the tests and the beating, when I lessened believing
he still brought me up through the golden gates, and mended my broken core
and I was greeted at the entrance, with friends and family to open the doors
I no longer need the Caution to fight, Since I've received the promise of light
I stepped in.. The world behind me dissappeared along with darkness and life.

[Supersonikk]

bats all around ma house ,typhoon hittin d city
it was mayhem ,can see a baby boy born who was me
made in hell was curse wid the worse
it was the darkest day the first evil born in universe
the earth was loosin its grace like dementors suckin its soul
sky lost its beauty it lookd nothin less dan a coal
the humanity was over with it,not a single one on dis globe can be seen
it was only me who was visible ,only me the king and the queen
earth dividing in two,the hot core swalloowwing everything
ma eyes open realised it was a dream ,saw white sky and empty swings
finally saw life in sky ,went outa d house and realised it was fake evything evaporated
a bright beam into my eye,made me watch a flashback made me realised what mess i created
the god standin next to me broke the sky apart ,saw two stairs where they end i thought
one to hell one to heaven ,one choice is all that i got
the doves with joy swinging accross the bridge to heaven
got attracted to the beauty and strted moving but at last i had a meeting with the demon
he forced me to join his army to finish the god
me his last hope i neglected and he neva again gotta chance to completed his squad
ended my journey i had hands of god over my head
i saw back to the demon but my that time he was turning into ashes he was dead
PEACE!

[GRizzEAT]

Rhymin n Flow- I give Phemon a slight edge. He had somewhat of a more complex drop

Voc- Ill most deffo used a boarder range of words and used them more effectively

Topic/Storytellin/Emotion- Ill has this. His drop took me from here to there with only a few rough patches.. Where as Sup's drop had me stuck in one place for waaay to long.

Endin- I didn really get a 'ENDIN' feel from niether.. N both were rather predictable.. But still One edged this. IMO

Overall Vote goes to Phemon. G'look on tha read to both tho.

[UnEtHıCaL]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Tie. Both had slightly choppy flows, and simple enough rhyming, but neither nudged ahead of the other. Ill, try to keep the end of line rhyme to a multiple of 2, 3 times throws a reader off.
Vocabulary - Ill Phenom. Super was quite decent in this cat, but Ill has slightly elevated in it and snatched it.
Topic/Meaning - Ill Phenom. Ill, although predictable, had a better storyline all in all.
Storytelling/Progression - Ill Phenom. Ill should have made his smaller. There was a lot of repeatitive mood setting in the beginning. Super was going well, until he "woke up" half way through, which I never understood happening.
Emotion - Ill Phenom. All in all a higher level in emotion.
Imagery - Tie. Again, Ill added words in but I felt that he was struggling to find the correct visuals to give a picture. Super had some okay images at the start but it fell.
Poetic Techniques - Ill Phenom. Althought some never connected, the presence of metaphors takes this cat convincingly.
Ending - Ill Phenom. The ending was exocuted well, but could have used some more originality.

GMV// Ill Phenom. I'd have loved to put Super against a weaker opponent or no shower to give him sone more experience because he undoubtabley could cause some upsets with a little more work, but being drafted with one of the favourites and most experienced has seen him take the early fall in my books. Good contest.

[Black Book]

Rhyming Scheme/Flow — Like EtH said, neither did anything to set themselves apart from the other that much in the flow aspect of it. I'm giving the rhyming aspect to Ill though. He used a more complex rhyme scheme, & Super used a one word rhyme scheme.
Vocabulary — I'll give it to Ill. His vocabulary was better, but Super also did well here.
Topic/Meaning — Ill got this one. Super's storyline was a bit confusing(?) Ill's story was more clean-cut & related to the picture better.
Storytelling/Progression — Ill. His had more of a build to it. Super didn't have much of a build to his conclusion.
Emotion — Ill got this one pretty easily. He had some pretty good emotion, but could have came off better in places. Super just didn't really have the emotion he needed to take this category.
Imagery — Ill. Super did paint a picture w/ the bats around the house & the typhoon & the sky, but Ill just painted a more in-depth picture. His imagery was at both an emotional & physical element when Super was just at a physical level.
Poetic Techniques — Ill. The metaphors & puns were just a lot better than what Super came with.
Ending — Ill. He wrapped his story up in a way that made you feel like the story was closed, but there were a few lose ends that make you think, "Hmm. That could have gone somewhere." Super closed the story in a way that leaves you thinking, "There should have been more to that."
Vote: Ill Phenom.

[UnEtHıCaL]

Ill Phenom Wins.

[Hubert Cumberdale]

Bump for formatting.

[RULE]

added tbm