REMOVED vs Letum - Text Tournament Battle - Rap Battles and Freestyle Battles at LetsBeef.com

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Masked-Reaper vs CulpritT
8 Lines (4 Bars) Blind Drop

5 Votes

Masked-Reaper vs Row
32 Lines (16 Bars) Blind Drop

6 Votes

Hek Teafy vs Phracture
8 Lines (4 Bars) Blind Drop

5 Votes

DEADSm1Le vs Hand Me Down
8 Lines (4 Bars) Blind Drop

1 Vote

Hek Teafy vs noyouwont
8 Lines (4 Bars) Blind Drop

2 Votes

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Topical Tournament #5
Length: 40 Lines

REMOVED (50%) Won

Ranked #-- This Month (#-- All Time)

None

Reppin: Unknown

Letum (50%) Lost

Ranked #-- This Month (#474 All Time)

Crew: Turnbull AC's

Reppin: Bedford, Texas, United States

Letum

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                                                                          INVISIBLE 










Maybe thirty.. Is that the age when you see?
Jacob Murphy is eight, and imagination is king.
Anxious Nerdy,  infatuated with dreams.
Waking early to play, having no friends as it seems.
Not to worry's, he'll  make friends appear in a blink. 
He's happy, even though 'real' kids are visably mean.
Its crappy, to not have friends must be a miserable thing. 
In fact he only has one thing on his mind, an invisible ring. 
Not to be seen? How exiting, he gets that feeling a lot. 
It arrives today, anxiety has him dealing with thoughts.
Inside's are not feeling so hot, his stomach's reeling in knots.
But hey, it only took twenty five tops thank you cerial box! 
He plays tag with Tucan, and Captain Crunch in anticipation. 
Then a bath just to dance, and splash so munch, the water's now vacant.
Then he laughed just a tad, now he's loosing his patience. 
The mail man with his hope shows at eight thirty, Just in time.
A pail tan evelope to Jake Murphy, ''Yes it's mine''!! 
Bare hands tear the note to take a ring, behold it's shine.

Voting has ended for this battle (battle finished on 2012-11-19 03:01:21).

You are not allowed to vote on your own battle.

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AfterThought <CHALKLINED>	Claaaaaaaaaaassick! Posted on: 2012-11-12 04:24:27
Revan <iRULE> Hall Of Famer Grand Champion Topical Champion	fuck around n leave you... murdaaaaa Posted on: 2012-11-12 15:02:47
AfterThought <CHALKLINED>	Topic: Invisible. Goodluck to both of you! Posted on: 2012-11-12 16:01:31
Letum <AC's>	AC's - U- Know Posted on: 2012-11-12 16:28:49
NOBLE <FITTEST> Hall Of Famer	Good luck fellas! Posted on: 2012-11-12 16:46:56
Racs Basic Member	Good luck guys. Posted on: 2012-11-13 06:13:13
Phil Banks <LoD> Hall Of Famer 2x Grand Champion Scheme Champion Live Battler Discord Battler	ok this is hard one...i felt one had a better rhyme scheme an writers voice throughout but felt his ending sucked noone likes to be left hanging... another had shit that didn't rhyme an at times stretched count your syllables yo... loved to shoot/into drugs too doesn't work its a super forced multi an not the only one... i felt one got this but barely both need to work on certain mechanics Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2012-11-19 03:30:19
Dono <CHALKLINED> 2x ATT Champion 2x One Bar Champion Topical Champion	Enfinite, I like your concept a lot, but the execution wasn't great. I need more emotion linking me to these characters or stronger relationships or something. It wasn't flushed out enough for me. If you want to do an out of the box concept I need you to deliver it well. Unyqe, I would have loved if you would have taken the concept of invisible and ran with it about a kid who has invisible imaginary friends and took that concept and threw in some cool mental/emotional stuff for the kid. Instead you went on about an invisibility ring....not really that much depth ya know? I need you to flush it out and give me a strong character, because the idea is rich. Also, the coherency was good. Fair is in, hope the feedback helps, good luck to the winner. Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2012-11-19 03:40:11

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