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  #1  
Unread 03-05-2015, 12:06 PM
Subreal
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
Default LBTT March: Student vs Los [Student won by 3-0 TKO]


Verses are due Friday, March 13th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic:
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Unread 03-05-2015, 12:06 PM   #1
 
Subreal
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Voted: 44 audio / 258 text
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)


Default LBTT March: Student vs Los [Student won by 3-0 TKO]


Verses are due Friday, March 13th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic:
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  #2  
Unread 03-14-2015, 04:21 AM
Los Los is on FIRE! 20+ wins in a row!
Basic Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 137
Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 3 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
28 Won / 1 Lost
Default

Fog

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..awaiting death in a fuckin hut..
My soul & I, supposed to die, but here we buckle up
with eyes barely open coz of the subtle dust
& wonder what's, about to storm up under us

Nobody to notice, my whole mind isn't focused
This light been up for days, but nobody is showin

I see the future & the past, all equaling zero
trying to make out my life, but can't see through the steam though

I see survival, but expect the doom
Coz I'm in the middle of no-wear, staying in a 6 ft dressing room
I don't get to move, and I hate stagnant
My mind races back to retrieve any memories I don't hate, feeling crazed
I pace backwards, while disastrous waves are splashing
following in a stable fashion
I hold on to this pendant, & wait for the chain reaction..

Takes me back, to when I was just a baby wrapped in
baby blankets, few years later, playin basket, ball on the way to classes
Takes me back, before I lost the world..anyway, I'll take my ass in
try to sleep standing, waiting for the major crashing.
__________________


"I'm the M.V.P, I'm stupid with this rap shit."
Reply With Quote
Unread 03-14-2015, 04:21 AM   #2
 
Los Los is on FIRE! 20+ wins in a row!
Basic Member
Estimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 0/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.53/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
28 Won / 1 Lost
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Voted: 0 audio / 25 text
Posts: 137
Mentioned: 65 Post(s)
Tagged: 3 Thread(s)


Default

Fog

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..awaiting death in a fuckin hut..
My soul & I, supposed to die, but here we buckle up
with eyes barely open coz of the subtle dust
& wonder what's, about to storm up under us

Nobody to notice, my whole mind isn't focused
This light been up for days, but nobody is showin

I see the future & the past, all equaling zero
trying to make out my life, but can't see through the steam though

I see survival, but expect the doom
Coz I'm in the middle of no-wear, staying in a 6 ft dressing room
I don't get to move, and I hate stagnant
My mind races back to retrieve any memories I don't hate, feeling crazed
I pace backwards, while disastrous waves are splashing
following in a stable fashion
I hold on to this pendant, & wait for the chain reaction..

Takes me back, to when I was just a baby wrapped in
baby blankets, few years later, playin basket, ball on the way to classes
Takes me back, before I lost the world..anyway, I'll take my ass in
try to sleep standing, waiting for the major crashing.
__________________


"I'm the M.V.P, I'm stupid with this rap shit."
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  #3  
Unread 03-14-2015, 05:44 AM
Student
LB Historian
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
Tagged: 46 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 2 Lost
Default

As I gaze onto the plain I see nothing but pain,
I'm alone in the desert and it's driving me insane,
I remember the old days where technology was king,
but too much information filled the hate to the brim,
It overflowed into a sea of chaos,
the sky took the smoke, flames and stopped giving raindrops,
It's been like this for years, just me and my thoughts,
I wonder if I should've just died in a box, jumped off that cliff and hit rocks,
I saw the end of the world, people turned into savages
I also become one, that was the only way to handle it
The problem with killing the enemy is that I'm left with the memory,
Now I'm left with no energy, left in a world where everything's rudimentary,
However I'm embarking on a quest, to see if anyone's left,
If we can make life after death because all we are now is the walking dead.
I'm a lone soilder, surrounded by boulders, weight of the world on my shoulders,
I'm a sky hawk, with no one to talk to, I walk around but all I see is rocks,
Trying to find civilianation, plants for vegetation but I'm lacking motivation to deal with these frustrations,
I made my bed and I must lie in it, lonesome, tell myself it'll be fine but I'm not buying it,
While I'm contemplating my fate, I see a stranger off in the distance,
Thinking if I should escape or see what's going to happen and listen,
They finally makes it up, I open the door, filled with hope and I look up,
I can't even describe what I was seeing, I can hardly believe it, fuck...it's...

*Dies on the spot*
__________________
2023
My Final Year
Reply With Quote
Unread 03-14-2015, 05:44 AM   #3
 
Student
LB Historian
Estimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 2 Lost
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Voted: 98 audio / 587 text
Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
Tagged: 46 Thread(s)


Default

As I gaze onto the plain I see nothing but pain,
I'm alone in the desert and it's driving me insane,
I remember the old days where technology was king,
but too much information filled the hate to the brim,
It overflowed into a sea of chaos,
the sky took the smoke, flames and stopped giving raindrops,
It's been like this for years, just me and my thoughts,
I wonder if I should've just died in a box, jumped off that cliff and hit rocks,
I saw the end of the world, people turned into savages
I also become one, that was the only way to handle it
The problem with killing the enemy is that I'm left with the memory,
Now I'm left with no energy, left in a world where everything's rudimentary,
However I'm embarking on a quest, to see if anyone's left,
If we can make life after death because all we are now is the walking dead.
I'm a lone soilder, surrounded by boulders, weight of the world on my shoulders,
I'm a sky hawk, with no one to talk to, I walk around but all I see is rocks,
Trying to find civilianation, plants for vegetation but I'm lacking motivation to deal with these frustrations,
I made my bed and I must lie in it, lonesome, tell myself it'll be fine but I'm not buying it,
While I'm contemplating my fate, I see a stranger off in the distance,
Thinking if I should escape or see what's going to happen and listen,
They finally makes it up, I open the door, filled with hope and I look up,
I can't even describe what I was seeing, I can hardly believe it, fuck...it's...

*Dies on the spot*
__________________
2023
My Final Year
Offline  
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Unread 03-14-2015, 06:37 PM
Insuppressible Insuppressible is on FIRE! 5+ wins in a row!
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,382
Mentioned: 117 Post(s)
Tagged: 3 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.59/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.59/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.59/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
90 Won / 9 Lost
Default

Los - Quite disappointing for a topical imo. Lyrically you were on fine; flow & syllable count was on point givin it a nice smooth read. But you lacked in the consistency w/ a story. For the most part a strong topical would most likely contain a twist, and you basically build up towards the twist. I didn't really feel that in you topical. You had some nice ideas, but as a topical it isn't what it should be.

Student - The approach you took is quite cliche. I would've like to see you take a different angle that didn't have to do with death and destruction. Needless to say i thought you did a great job w/ your topical. Flow & multies were great, syllable count was off in some places but i know your style by now lol. You painted a nice vivid image of the background, literally. If i'm going to criticise a lil further I also felt that your ending was quite cliche.

Overall - Not a bad topical. Each did their thing. For both I would've like to see more metaphors/similes to add a bit more creativity to their topical.

MVGT - Student
__________________
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill


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Unread 03-14-2015, 06:37 PM   #4
 
Insuppressible Insuppressible is on FIRE! 5+ wins in a row!
Estimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.2/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.59/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.59/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.59/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
90 Won / 9 Lost
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Voted: 19 audio / 372 text
Posts: 1,382
Mentioned: 117 Post(s)
Tagged: 3 Thread(s)


Default

Los - Quite disappointing for a topical imo. Lyrically you were on fine; flow & syllable count was on point givin it a nice smooth read. But you lacked in the consistency w/ a story. For the most part a strong topical would most likely contain a twist, and you basically build up towards the twist. I didn't really feel that in you topical. You had some nice ideas, but as a topical it isn't what it should be.

Student - The approach you took is quite cliche. I would've like to see you take a different angle that didn't have to do with death and destruction. Needless to say i thought you did a great job w/ your topical. Flow & multies were great, syllable count was off in some places but i know your style by now lol. You painted a nice vivid image of the background, literally. If i'm going to criticise a lil further I also felt that your ending was quite cliche.

Overall - Not a bad topical. Each did their thing. For both I would've like to see more metaphors/similes to add a bit more creativity to their topical.

MVGT - Student
__________________
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill


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  #5  
Unread 03-17-2015, 07:42 AM
Subreal
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
Default

bump, cant vote cuz crew aff
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Unread 03-17-2015, 07:42 AM   #5
 
Subreal
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Voted: 44 audio / 258 text
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)


Default

bump, cant vote cuz crew aff
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  #6  
Unread 03-18-2015, 06:09 PM
Student
LB Historian
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
Tagged: 46 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 2 Lost
Default

__________________
2023
My Final Year
Reply With Quote
Unread 03-18-2015, 06:09 PM   #6
 
Student
LB Historian
Estimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.63/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.91/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
97 Won / 75 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
6 Won / 2 Lost
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Voted: 98 audio / 587 text
Posts: 10,280
Mentioned: 2492 Post(s)
Tagged: 46 Thread(s)


Default

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  #7  
Unread 03-21-2015, 05:28 AM
Subreal
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
Default

bumpin
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Unread 03-21-2015, 05:28 AM   #7
 
Subreal
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Voted: 44 audio / 258 text
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)


Default

bumpin
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  #8  
Unread 03-30-2015, 03:26 AM
11
Shodan
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,962
Mentioned: 1225 Post(s)
Tagged: 61 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
2 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
111 Won / 71 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
3 Won / 6 Lost
Default

Los: Honestly, I'm not sure if this just went straight over my head. Your scheming was nice, flow fell off a bit in a couple of places. Overall, this wasn't terrible, but confusing and a bit rough around the edges.

Student: Good verse, fairly straightforward take on the picture until the not-really-a-twist ending. Your flow was on point, but the lack of multis really hurt this piece. Everything about this was solid except that.

MVGT: Student
__________________
I'm retired from LetsBeef.
Spoiler for Ya Boi's Signature:
Spoiler for My punches hit you like:
Spoiler for GIF, courtesy of NOBLE:
Spoiler for A wise man once said:
"Wtf are yaw readin nigga this nigga dont even make ssince and have the niggas who comment be garbage but tryna give at vice i been in real battles for money and won i haven't seen not one hot verse on here accept maybe a couple yaw some fuckin haters o. Me i punch this nigga like a speed bag smoked boots"

- space_dabree, discussing the outcome of his battle with Shodan.
Spoiler for More words of wisdom:
"Your iq is too low to vote on my shit. Grab ddthabeast, take some literacy courses, get hooked on phonics and come talk to me then."

- Teeteegee, discussing a fair vote left which Shodan left on a battle of his.
Spoiler for ILLoKWENT's declaration of love:
"fuck off lil faggit.. before i tare your dick off , and shove it up your dads ass while your slut of a mom makes a home video documenting the whole situation as your sister masturbates to mozart.capeesh?" The first person to notice the existence of this line of text and PM me about it is entitled to 50 of the credits on my account. Let's see how long this stays undiscovered. - Added May 1, 2019 - EDIT: Good job Culture for finding this on May 11, 2019! Faster than expect. Prize now rescinded. Will remove this sometime...
- ILLoKWENT, in response to a rhetorical question.
Spoiler for More love from illokwent:
"Because he lacks any form of maturity to do grown folk stuff... And u can quote me on that.."

- Read, and then sigged.


Reply With Quote
Unread 03-30-2015, 03:26 AM   #8
 
11
Shodan
Estimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 6.18/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
2 Won / 4 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.18/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.74/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
111 Won / 71 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
3 Won / 6 Lost
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Voted: 35 audio / 1022 text
Posts: 2,962
Mentioned: 1225 Post(s)
Tagged: 61 Thread(s)


Default

Los: Honestly, I'm not sure if this just went straight over my head. Your scheming was nice, flow fell off a bit in a couple of places. Overall, this wasn't terrible, but confusing and a bit rough around the edges.

Student: Good verse, fairly straightforward take on the picture until the not-really-a-twist ending. Your flow was on point, but the lack of multis really hurt this piece. Everything about this was solid except that.

MVGT: Student
__________________
I'm retired from LetsBeef.
Spoiler for Ya Boi's Signature:
Spoiler for My punches hit you like:
Spoiler for GIF, courtesy of NOBLE:
Spoiler for A wise man once said:
"Wtf are yaw readin nigga this nigga dont even make ssince and have the niggas who comment be garbage but tryna give at vice i been in real battles for money and won i haven't seen not one hot verse on here accept maybe a couple yaw some fuckin haters o. Me i punch this nigga like a speed bag smoked boots"

- space_dabree, discussing the outcome of his battle with Shodan.
Spoiler for More words of wisdom:
"Your iq is too low to vote on my shit. Grab ddthabeast, take some literacy courses, get hooked on phonics and come talk to me then."

- Teeteegee, discussing a fair vote left which Shodan left on a battle of his.
Spoiler for ILLoKWENT's declaration of love:
"fuck off lil faggit.. before i tare your dick off , and shove it up your dads ass while your slut of a mom makes a home video documenting the whole situation as your sister masturbates to mozart.capeesh?" The first person to notice the existence of this line of text and PM me about it is entitled to 50 of the credits on my account. Let's see how long this stays undiscovered. - Added May 1, 2019 - EDIT: Good job Culture for finding this on May 11, 2019! Faster than expect. Prize now rescinded. Will remove this sometime...
- ILLoKWENT, in response to a rhetorical question.
Spoiler for More love from illokwent:
"Because he lacks any form of maturity to do grown folk stuff... And u can quote me on that.."

- Read, and then sigged.


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  #9  
Unread 03-30-2015, 04:16 AM
NOBLE
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 3616 Post(s)
Tagged: 76 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
4 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.71/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.71/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.71/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
30 Won / 8 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 1 Lost
Default

I think Student's piece had more of a direction, more of a story with a conclusion in the end. Los's piece was more like a moment's introspection along with some reminiscing. Los had better flow, use of multies, etc. Los's piece tied into the image more directly as he described what was in the picture whereas Student's piece tied into the image more metaphorically as he describe an almost post-apocalyptic world after technology. I normally prefer the more direct approach so I'd have to give Los the edge in the category of image-relatedness. I felt Student had slightly better vocab. Both could have done better with imagery. I felt that emotion was slightly better conveyed in Student's piece. Student also had a better ending which kinda leaves the reader intrigued while trying to figure out what he saw which makes him die on the spot. Overall, this was really close and both had certain categories they did better in, but I felt one did slightly better overall. Vote goes to Student.
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Unread 03-30-2015, 04:16 AM   #9
 
NOBLE
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.05/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
4 Won / 0 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.05/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.71/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.71/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.71/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
30 Won / 8 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
1 Won / 1 Lost
 
Join Date: May 2011
Voted: 407 audio / 1061 text
Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 3616 Post(s)
Tagged: 76 Thread(s)


Default

I think Student's piece had more of a direction, more of a story with a conclusion in the end. Los's piece was more like a moment's introspection along with some reminiscing. Los had better flow, use of multies, etc. Los's piece tied into the image more directly as he described what was in the picture whereas Student's piece tied into the image more metaphorically as he describe an almost post-apocalyptic world after technology. I normally prefer the more direct approach so I'd have to give Los the edge in the category of image-relatedness. I felt Student had slightly better vocab. Both could have done better with imagery. I felt that emotion was slightly better conveyed in Student's piece. Student also had a better ending which kinda leaves the reader intrigued while trying to figure out what he saw which makes him die on the spot. Overall, this was really close and both had certain categories they did better in, but I felt one did slightly better overall. Vote goes to Student.
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  #10  
Unread 03-30-2015, 04:20 AM
Subreal
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
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Closed, student wins via 3-0 TKO, good verses from both.
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Unread 03-30-2015, 04:20 AM   #10
 
Subreal
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 6.61/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
41 Won / 37 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Voted: 44 audio / 258 text
Posts: 2,572
Mentioned: 1040 Post(s)
Tagged: 39 Thread(s)


Default

Closed, student wins via 3-0 TKO, good verses from both.
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