A Second of Dementia

[The Law]

A Second of Dementia

Just sitting in my room keying an open mic, here at the intro
I've have been feeling weird from the get go
Looked to my right as car lights appeared in window
Human hand prints began to form as if someone was climbing
My breath got foggy and the air turned to the coldest climate
Mental thoughts and pictures turned corrupt randomly
Scared emotions, frightened and beginning to construct insanity
My mind blacking out having electrical shortages
Blowing my fuse and unloading my mental storages
The evil, satanic faces downloading their features around my room
Fire crackers went off, and my surrounding began to go down in fumes
Burning every memory of past without a chance to reminisce a single moments stress
I was the symbol of broken sewn in on the spindle of hopelessness
But realizing this nimble opponent I knew I had to rekindle my focus
and stand up and take a chance without thinking of previous terrors
writers block in its stance and myself as the tedious mirror
I began to change the outlook of my writing to better form
Taking the poetic structure, and using the language of metaphors
because this whole time you thought I was rambling on around the downs of my life
but it was only the process of figuring out what to write

TBH I keyed this up quite quickly. Just felt like writing. Pardon any typo's or grammatical mistakes if there is any. I don't feel like proofing it at the moment.

[The Law]

A Second of Dementia

Just sitting in my room keying an open mic, here at the intro
I've have been feeling weird from the get go
Looked to my right as car lights appeared in window
Human hand prints began to form as if someone was climbing
My breath got foggy and the air turned to the coldest climate
Mental thoughts and pictures turned corrupt randomly
Scared emotions, frightened and beginning to construct insanity
My mind blacking out having electrical shortages
Blowing my fuse and unloading my mental storages
The evil, satanic faces downloading their features around my room
Fire crackers went off, and my surrounding began to go down in fumes
Burning every memory of past without a chance to reminisce a single moments stress
I was the symbol of broken sewn in on the spindle of hopelessness
But realizing this nimble opponent I knew I had to rekindle my focus
and stand up and take a chance without thinking of previous terrors
writers block in its stance and myself as the tedious mirror
I began to change the outlook of my writing to better form
Taking the poetic structure, and using the language of metaphors
because this whole time you thought I was rambling on around the downs of my life
but it was only the process of figuring out what to write

TBH I keyed this up quite quickly. Just felt like writing. Pardon any typo's or grammatical mistakes if there is any. I don't feel like proofing it at the moment.

"My mind blacking out having electrical shortages, Blowing my fuse and unloading my mental storages." I don't know that much about poetry or topicals but I thought this was dope, you had some nice imagery, kept me engaged. Good stuff.

"My mind blacking out having electrical shortages, Blowing my fuse and unloading my mental storages." I don't know that much about poetry or topicals but I thought this was dope, you had some nice imagery, kept me engaged. Good stuff.

[The Law]

Thank you Jimmy.

[The Law]

Thank you Jimmy.

[Erupt da Monsta]

Solid piece here man, I would work on structure a lil and incorporate a better multis, get a more concrete storyline but that line quoted by jimmy was nicely worded... keep elevatin

[Erupt da Monsta]

Solid piece here man, I would work on structure a lil and incorporate a better multis, get a more concrete storyline but that line quoted by jimmy was nicely worded... keep elevatin

[The Law]

Originally Posted by Moses

Solid piece here man, I would work on structure a lil and incorporate a better multis, get a more concrete storyline but that line quoted by jimmy was nicely worded... keep elevatin

thanks for the feedback rupt
I appreciate it.

[The Law]

Originally Posted by Moses

Solid piece here man, I would work on structure a lil and incorporate a better multis, get a more concrete storyline but that line quoted by jimmy was nicely worded... keep elevatin

thanks for the feedback rupt
I appreciate it.

[Sp0ken]

nice little freeverse i see nothing really pertaining to much but the flex of your emotions and how you are doing within the day im am seeing. pretty content with this... some wording was basic and not to flourishing for the rhyme scheme as it was basic as well but it was content and easy read props dude

-keep scribin'

[Sp0ken]

nice little freeverse i see nothing really pertaining to much but the flex of your emotions and how you are doing within the day im am seeing. pretty content with this... some wording was basic and not to flourishing for the rhyme scheme as it was basic as well but it was content and easy read props dude

-keep scribin'