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11-19-2013, 08:09 AM
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2013 GC: RD2 - Tha Dog Vs Dirty Work(Dirty Work Wins 3-0 )
Tha Dog Vs Dirty Work
This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship
Rules
Verses are due Tuesday, November 26th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.
Topic
Last edited by Hubert Cumberdale; 11-19-2013 at 08:25 AM.
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11-19-2013, 08:09 AM
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#1
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Guest
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2013 GC: RD2 - Tha Dog Vs Dirty Work(Dirty Work Wins 3-0 )
Tha Dog Vs Dirty Work
This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship
Rules
Verses are due Tuesday, November 26th.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 20-30 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.
Topic
Last edited by Hubert Cumberdale; 11-19-2013 at 08:25 AM.
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11-19-2013, 12:48 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 16
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
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Love is a motive and action a commitment, Stay obligated through resentment
Portrait of love is Agape, bring breakfast to bed your fav bisquick and a frappe
obligate our lives to romance, A slow dance twist and dip we twirl with both hands
Coast in the V to a park, reminisce 'til it's dark
Kindle the flame thru a spark of interest, love is a corridor once you enter the entrance
My mission to provide what's been missing, slow response fast to listen
We dreamt of a world with no form, where aberration's the norm
School of Hard Knocks Co-Ed we shared Dorms, love isn't lust avoiding the man with 2 heads and 10 horns
The quiet before the storm baby, the rainbow coming soon sing to you like Loon
Groom in Acqua Di Gio, baby I'm intoxicated off your B.O.
Strawberries and hershey kisses mwuah you delicious,
we're Christians so to honor God I made your my misses
The miracle worker He granted my wishes, a tranquil wife delight in submission
embeddable tradition love with no condition, Love is an act of the Will - Volition
With women alotta niggas don't Pay Attention, maybe they can't Afford To Listen
But love is cheap my favorite tune playing - that's your heart beat
Not down for a boisterous chick she needs to be discrete, Her culinary arts good knows how to eat
She clips my feet captivating when she shows her teeth
Like Fine Wine love only better in age, anticipating our elderly days
Your ways what drawn me to you, look what love can do....
__________________
God
Last edited by Enfinite; 11-26-2013 at 01:26 AM.
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11-19-2013, 12:48 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Voted:
74
audio / 831
text
Posts: 16
Mentioned: 9 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
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Love is a motive and action a commitment, Stay obligated through resentment
Portrait of love is Agape, bring breakfast to bed your fav bisquick and a frappe
obligate our lives to romance, A slow dance twist and dip we twirl with both hands
Coast in the V to a park, reminisce 'til it's dark
Kindle the flame thru a spark of interest, love is a corridor once you enter the entrance
My mission to provide what's been missing, slow response fast to listen
We dreamt of a world with no form, where aberration's the norm
School of Hard Knocks Co-Ed we shared Dorms, love isn't lust avoiding the man with 2 heads and 10 horns
The quiet before the storm baby, the rainbow coming soon sing to you like Loon
Groom in Acqua Di Gio, baby I'm intoxicated off your B.O.
Strawberries and hershey kisses mwuah you delicious,
we're Christians so to honor God I made your my misses
The miracle worker He granted my wishes, a tranquil wife delight in submission
embeddable tradition love with no condition, Love is an act of the Will - Volition
With women alotta niggas don't Pay Attention, maybe they can't Afford To Listen
But love is cheap my favorite tune playing - that's your heart beat
Not down for a boisterous chick she needs to be discrete, Her culinary arts good knows how to eat
She clips my feet captivating when she shows her teeth
Like Fine Wine love only better in age, anticipating our elderly days
Your ways what drawn me to you, look what love can do....
__________________
God
Last edited by Enfinite; 11-26-2013 at 01:26 AM.
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Offline
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11-27-2013, 04:20 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 399
Mentioned: 189 Post(s)
Tagged: 6 Thread(s)
Ranked Text Record 76 Won / 36 Lost
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Squirming in my chair, I couldn't wait for the glorious skies. When will this training video end? I was rolling my eyes.
So terribly bored... Staring at nothing but wasted space, when suddenly a shocking goddess wistfully graced my gaze.
Her eyes were stars that shone through depths of the gentlest blue. Her lips were vermilion velvet, like ripe rose petals in June.
Angel skin, akin to the sun- Arachnea’s golden silk. A luminous smile -pearl perfection- had me frozen still.
The dull sky-diving class was now the last thing on my mind. My thoughts were glued to this treasure I never thought I'd find.
In mere minutes I had conceived a thousand fantasies Of spending every day with this deity attached to me.
Swimming so deep in my daydream, I had almost missed the intoxicating bliss of her hand on my wrist.
Looking straight into each other's souls, we nearly undressed. The proverbial "love at first sight" was clearly expressed.
The intense connection had required no mention. In attempt to break tension, I asked her a question,
"So, are you ready for this? We'll be launching soon." Her voice melted my bones when she softly crooned,
"I feel like I've been ready for this forever, Let's go!" We joined hands in sweet embrace, I thought we'd never let go.
Up in the plane we felt so transcendant of its flight line, for in just an hour we had already shared a lifetime.
Each jumper was to partner with instructors at random, but we convinced them to let the two of us jump in tandem.
The parachute on my back, and my love on the front, our hands seemingly inseperable, we shoved off and jumped.
Through our hearts and minds, and through the air us two sailed. Imagine my sheer horror when the parachute failed,
And my wild groping had unbuckled a clasp, separating us as I struggled and grasped.
Joined only by our hands now, I prayed I could hold the grip, but fear-born sweat was causing our hands to slowly slip.
For a brief moment before our hands would fatefully part, our desperate fingertips were forming the shape of a heart.
The fleeting symbol signified, while flying above, that we would perish, but remain undying in love.
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11-27-2013, 04:20 AM
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#3
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Ranked Text Record 76 Won / 36 Lost
Join Date: Jan 2010
Voted:
17
audio / 386
text
Posts: 399
Mentioned: 189 Post(s)
Tagged: 6 Thread(s)
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Squirming in my chair, I couldn't wait for the glorious skies. When will this training video end? I was rolling my eyes.
So terribly bored... Staring at nothing but wasted space, when suddenly a shocking goddess wistfully graced my gaze.
Her eyes were stars that shone through depths of the gentlest blue. Her lips were vermilion velvet, like ripe rose petals in June.
Angel skin, akin to the sun- Arachnea’s golden silk. A luminous smile -pearl perfection- had me frozen still.
The dull sky-diving class was now the last thing on my mind. My thoughts were glued to this treasure I never thought I'd find.
In mere minutes I had conceived a thousand fantasies Of spending every day with this deity attached to me.
Swimming so deep in my daydream, I had almost missed the intoxicating bliss of her hand on my wrist.
Looking straight into each other's souls, we nearly undressed. The proverbial "love at first sight" was clearly expressed.
The intense connection had required no mention. In attempt to break tension, I asked her a question,
"So, are you ready for this? We'll be launching soon." Her voice melted my bones when she softly crooned,
"I feel like I've been ready for this forever, Let's go!" We joined hands in sweet embrace, I thought we'd never let go.
Up in the plane we felt so transcendant of its flight line, for in just an hour we had already shared a lifetime.
Each jumper was to partner with instructors at random, but we convinced them to let the two of us jump in tandem.
The parachute on my back, and my love on the front, our hands seemingly inseperable, we shoved off and jumped.
Through our hearts and minds, and through the air us two sailed. Imagine my sheer horror when the parachute failed,
And my wild groping had unbuckled a clasp, separating us as I struggled and grasped.
Joined only by our hands now, I prayed I could hold the grip, but fear-born sweat was causing our hands to slowly slip.
For a brief moment before our hands would fatefully part, our desperate fingertips were forming the shape of a heart.
The fleeting symbol signified, while flying above, that we would perish, but remain undying in love.
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Offline
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12-01-2013, 10:41 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 220
Mentioned: 109 Post(s)
Tagged: 6 Thread(s)
Ranked Text Record 89 Won / 54 Lost
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Dog: you had a very interesting concept and the flow was on point. Although, topically it wasn't very clear. Almost seemed like you wrote 2 different verses at times. Good verse though. It was technically sound but this being a topical, i feel it needs to paint more of a clear picture.
Dirty work: Extremely good verse. I liked the story and it was written eloquently with great description. The topic was a little meh at first but you stayed on topic and it paid off because the ending really took a nice twist. I had no problems envisioning what you were saying which in a topical, is most important.
One of the better battles in this round of all the topixals i read but in the end, i gotta choose a winner. Therefore, my vote goes to:
Dirty Work.
__________________
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12-01-2013, 10:41 AM
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#4
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Ranked Text Record 89 Won / 54 Lost
Join Date: Jul 2013
Voted:
0 audio / 355
text
Posts: 220
Mentioned: 109 Post(s)
Tagged: 6 Thread(s)
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Dog: you had a very interesting concept and the flow was on point. Although, topically it wasn't very clear. Almost seemed like you wrote 2 different verses at times. Good verse though. It was technically sound but this being a topical, i feel it needs to paint more of a clear picture.
Dirty work: Extremely good verse. I liked the story and it was written eloquently with great description. The topic was a little meh at first but you stayed on topic and it paid off because the ending really took a nice twist. I had no problems envisioning what you were saying which in a topical, is most important.
One of the better battles in this round of all the topixals i read but in the end, i gotta choose a winner. Therefore, my vote goes to:
Dirty Work.
__________________
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Offline
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12-01-2013, 12:55 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)
Ranked Audio Record 1 Won / 0 Lost
Ranked Text Record 18 Won / 17 Lost
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Tha Dog: Verse wasn't bad, although flow was kind of choppy at times. The whole thing kind of had an 80's hip hop feel to it, which you don't see very often but was kind of cool if not a bit simple. I liked a lot of the imagery you used, although the story wasn't exactly a story as much as a string of little anecdotes. You didn't explicitly tie in the picture, which seemed pretty hard to do sp I normally wouldn't have counted it against you, but your opponent specifically mentioned the heart being formed by the hands.
Dirty Work: This was a really good verse overall, one of the best in this round. The imagery was awesome, and you showed a really advanced vocabulary. Usually when people use too many big words they compromise some of their flow, but you didn't do that at all. You also told a really emotional yet clear and easy-to-follow story. The last line especially hit hard, and the twist at the end was pretty gut-wrenching in general. Keep writing verses like this and you'll have a good shot at the championship.
MVGT Dirty Work
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12-01-2013, 12:55 PM
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#5
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Ranked Audio Record 1 Won / 0 Lost
Ranked Text Record 18 Won / 17 Lost
Join Date: Sep 2013
Voted:
0 audio / 85
text
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 382 Post(s)
Tagged: 27 Thread(s)
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Tha Dog: Verse wasn't bad, although flow was kind of choppy at times. The whole thing kind of had an 80's hip hop feel to it, which you don't see very often but was kind of cool if not a bit simple. I liked a lot of the imagery you used, although the story wasn't exactly a story as much as a string of little anecdotes. You didn't explicitly tie in the picture, which seemed pretty hard to do sp I normally wouldn't have counted it against you, but your opponent specifically mentioned the heart being formed by the hands.
Dirty Work: This was a really good verse overall, one of the best in this round. The imagery was awesome, and you showed a really advanced vocabulary. Usually when people use too many big words they compromise some of their flow, but you didn't do that at all. You also told a really emotional yet clear and easy-to-follow story. The last line especially hit hard, and the twist at the end was pretty gut-wrenching in general. Keep writing verses like this and you'll have a good shot at the championship.
MVGT Dirty Work
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12-02-2013, 03:38 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,034
Mentioned: 813 Post(s)
Tagged: 32 Thread(s)
Ranked Audio Record 9 Won / 1 Lost
Ranked Text Record 131 Won / 38 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 3 Won / 0 Lost
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Dog: Solid verse fam, if you were going up against anybody else your probably would have won. But your verse lacked in a few key areas, mainly a hard to follow rhyme scheme & lack of sticking to the topic. You would delve in, & then quickly get off topic which took away from its overall effectiveness. You ran into a buzz saw my dude, Dirty Work's verse was flames. Good shit though, keep writing my dude.
Dirty Work: great drop my nigga, I was really feeling this. Your vocabulary was superior, you stayed on topic throughout the verse & your use of in depth imagery really set you apart from your opponent. I agree with JewFro, sometimes ppl get too cute with their words & it kind of losses some sting, but you incorporated everything well. The ending was a beautiful tragedy. Even in the face if death, their love knew no boundaries. Good shit homie...
Vote: Dirty Work
__________________
Your Punchlines? Miss me with that Bullshit...
ELOH_STACKz - "Money Callin": http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/prodd...2116-Money-663
Quote:
Originally Posted by ET the Refugee
I'm so old i have trouble holding my poop in when i fart.......Hows that for imagery?
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Might be a bit premature, but... Quote of the Year? Lol
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12-02-2013, 03:38 PM
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#6
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Live Battler
Ranked Audio Record 9 Won / 1 Lost
Ranked Text Record 131 Won / 38 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 3 Won / 0 Lost
Join Date: Oct 2012
Voted:
61
audio / 623
text
Posts: 1,034
Mentioned: 813 Post(s)
Tagged: 32 Thread(s)
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Dog: Solid verse fam, if you were going up against anybody else your probably would have won. But your verse lacked in a few key areas, mainly a hard to follow rhyme scheme & lack of sticking to the topic. You would delve in, & then quickly get off topic which took away from its overall effectiveness. You ran into a buzz saw my dude, Dirty Work's verse was flames. Good shit though, keep writing my dude.
Dirty Work: great drop my nigga, I was really feeling this. Your vocabulary was superior, you stayed on topic throughout the verse & your use of in depth imagery really set you apart from your opponent. I agree with JewFro, sometimes ppl get too cute with their words & it kind of losses some sting, but you incorporated everything well. The ending was a beautiful tragedy. Even in the face if death, their love knew no boundaries. Good shit homie...
Vote: Dirty Work
__________________
Your Punchlines? Miss me with that Bullshit...
ELOH_STACKz - "Money Callin": http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/prodd...2116-Money-663
Quote:
Originally Posted by ET the Refugee
I'm so old i have trouble holding my poop in when i fart.......Hows that for imagery?
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Might be a bit premature, but... Quote of the Year? Lol
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07-06-2014, 10:42 AM
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Upping for formatting.
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07-06-2014, 10:42 AM
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#7
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Upping for formatting.
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01-04-2020, 04:17 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 28,180
Mentioned: 3427 Post(s)
Tagged: 69 Thread(s)
Ranked Audio Record 32 Won / 5 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record 3 Won / 1 Lost
Ranked Text Record 187 Won / 34 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 11 Won / 5 Lost
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added tbm
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01-04-2020, 04:17 PM
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#8
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Ranked Audio Record 32 Won / 5 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record 3 Won / 1 Lost
Ranked Text Record 187 Won / 34 Lost
Exclusive Text Record 11 Won / 5 Lost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Voted:
241
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text
Posts: 28,180
Mentioned: 3427 Post(s)
Tagged: 69 Thread(s)
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