Los - Quite disappointing for a topical imo. Lyrically you were on fine; flow & syllable count was on point givin it a nice smooth read. But you lacked in the consistency w/ a story. For the most part a strong topical would most likely contain a twist, and you basically build up towards the twist. I didn't really feel that in you topical. You had some nice ideas, but as a topical it isn't what it should be.
Student - The approach you took is quite cliche. I would've like to see you take a different angle that didn't have to do with death and destruction. Needless to say i thought you did a great job w/ your topical. Flow & multies were great, syllable count was off in some places but i know your style by now lol. You painted a nice vivid image of the background, literally. If i'm going to criticise a lil further I also felt that your ending was quite cliche.
Overall - Not a bad topical. Each did their thing. For both I would've like to see more metaphors/similes to add a bit more creativity to their topical.
MVGT - Student
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You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill
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