ET: Solid piece. Was rather surprised. Your flow and rhyming was good. The story progressed nicely and was decent. Imagery seems to be a common element that everyone could work on more. I pictured this as a guy talking to himself. I feel like you can up your vocab though with the rhyming and the filler. A good vocab brings a lot to pieces. Good piece.
Dys: I liked your piece as well. Good flow due to short lines, but I think you made them too short. I honestly felt like you could of put a lot more into the writing of this piece. The story was good, but I think you could of worked on it a bit more. Next time, make sure you use longer lines, keeping it between 10-15 syllables is usually safe for flow. You had some lines that were longer, but a lot of short lines, I felt there was a lot of space you could of filled in.
MVGT: ET
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