I like the direction Fidel was going at the end but it was more of a epilogue than an actual twist. It didn't surprise me at all. There were some issues with wording and grammar that made the read a little awkward for me. Dys had some issues as well, as DW said, with syllable count, flow, and wording, but I felt more of an emotional response from his verse and that has me leaning in that direction.
Dys gets my vote.
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