Lets Beef - Battle Rap Forums - View Single Post - XplicitKontent Vs The doom - (XplicitKontent Wins 5-2)

**Iron Mike** · #18 08-15-2013, 05:43 PM

I preferred XplicitKontent's verse.It was simple, but it was told with realism. It probably could have used more words that conjure imagery. What gave it that sense of realism was the military jargon, and I understand that you are in the military, so it's probably a story that not too many can tell as well as you. But a bit more imagery words would've helped the audience to dwell within the story more. I felt the Doom's story was slightly all over the place. 1st of all, the brother's name suggests an Islamic background. But then, he started talking about reaching a state of samadhi which is of the Indian tradition. And then before we know it you're talking about a Judeo-Christian Moses and God etc. it just didn't seem focused. On top of that, I felt the 1st verse did more to capture the idea of "last breath". My vote goes to XplicitKontent.

**Iron Mike** · 08-15-2013, 05:43 PM

I preferred XplicitKontent's verse.It was simple, but it was told with realism. It probably could have used more words that conjure imagery. What gave it that sense of realism was the military jargon, and I understand that you are in the military, so it's probably a story that not too many can tell as well as you. But a bit more imagery words would've helped the audience to dwell within the story more. I felt the Doom's story was slightly all over the place. 1st of all, the brother's name suggests an Islamic background. But then, he started talking about reaching a state of samadhi which is of the Indian tradition. And then before we know it you're talking about a Judeo-Christian Moses and God etc. it just didn't seem focused. On top of that, I felt the 1st verse did more to capture the idea of "last breath". My vote goes to XplicitKontent.

08-15-2013, 05:43 PM	#18
Iron Mike <Wild Wild 100's> Ranked Text Record 4 Won / 0 Lost Join Date: Apr 2012 Voted: 0 audio / 34 text Posts: 319 Mentioned: 84 Post(s) Tagged: 1 Thread(s)	I preferred XplicitKontent's verse.It was simple, but it was told with realism. It probably could have used more words that conjure imagery. What gave it that sense of realism was the military jargon, and I understand that you are in the military, so it's probably a story that not too many can tell as well as you. But a bit more imagery words would've helped the audience to dwell within the story more. I felt the Doom's story was slightly all over the place. 1st of all, the brother's name suggests an Islamic background. But then, he started talking about reaching a state of samadhi which is of the Indian tradition. And then before we know it you're talking about a Judeo-Christian Moses and God etc. it just didn't seem focused. On top of that, I felt the 1st verse did more to capture the idea of "last breath". My vote goes to XplicitKontent.
Offline