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Unread 07-27-2013, 05:40 PM
Hubert Cumberdale
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Writer 1, I really liked the creativity here. It was a very original idea. It may not have been strictly to the image, but I felt that you managed to bring it back enough. Even through simple wording, you managed to give me a really ethnic feeling to the entire piece, like I could instantly tell the setting. There was a few flaws with the flow for me, and at times I felt it wouldn't have been too hard to improve the lyricism, but overall a really good drop. I really wasn't a fan of the ending though. You want a twist or at least a conclusion, but I don't feel we got one.

Writer 4, I wasn't really into the style you set out to do. It was very lyrically charged, but I don't feel the rhyming vocab was out there enough for it really to have been 'impressive'. It was all quite simplistic in that respect, so if you're going to show a lot of rhyming you really want to make sure someone will be taken back by it. I'll try and post something from Black D in next magazine because he's the perfect example of a lyrical topical writer who manages to astound you with his rhyming. The story too was quite creative, but I feel you deviated a little too much. There wasn't THAT much relevance to the picture imo, and there was all these other characters added on and I felt that a more simple set up might have sufficed.

Overall, this one is close enough, but I feel I enjoyed one throughout a bit better and give them my vote.

Writer 1 GMV

---------- Post added at 04:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:39 PM ----------

Writer 1 WINS 3-0
Unread 07-27-2013, 05:40 PM   #5
 
Hubert Cumberdale
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Writer 1, I really liked the creativity here. It was a very original idea. It may not have been strictly to the image, but I felt that you managed to bring it back enough. Even through simple wording, you managed to give me a really ethnic feeling to the entire piece, like I could instantly tell the setting. There was a few flaws with the flow for me, and at times I felt it wouldn't have been too hard to improve the lyricism, but overall a really good drop. I really wasn't a fan of the ending though. You want a twist or at least a conclusion, but I don't feel we got one.

Writer 4, I wasn't really into the style you set out to do. It was very lyrically charged, but I don't feel the rhyming vocab was out there enough for it really to have been 'impressive'. It was all quite simplistic in that respect, so if you're going to show a lot of rhyming you really want to make sure someone will be taken back by it. I'll try and post something from Black D in next magazine because he's the perfect example of a lyrical topical writer who manages to astound you with his rhyming. The story too was quite creative, but I feel you deviated a little too much. There wasn't THAT much relevance to the picture imo, and there was all these other characters added on and I felt that a more simple set up might have sufficed.

Overall, this one is close enough, but I feel I enjoyed one throughout a bit better and give them my vote.

Writer 1 GMV

---------- Post added at 04:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:39 PM ----------

Writer 1 WINS 3-0