Lets Beef - Battle Rap Forums - View Single Post - ATT SF: Writer 1 Vs Writer 4 - (Writer 1 Wins 3-0)

**Iron Mike** · #4 07-26-2013, 06:15 AM

I felt both pieces could have been better. Writer 1's story didn't really have any conclusion/didn't really go anywhere. The writing was nice as far as wording and imagery, but if the flow had been more regular, I might have enjoyed it more. I thought the people in the image looked more Far Eastern (Oriental) than South-East Asian (Indian/Pakistani) so the names and descriptions made more sense to me in Writer 4's piece. I had to force myself to finish reading Writer 4's piece tbph. The story was hard to follow. It seemed more focused on flow, but that actually got in the way. Words were repeated quite often. One of these pieces I mildly enjoyed. The other i didn't enjoy at all. My vote goes to Writer 1.

**Iron Mike** · 07-26-2013, 06:15 AM

I felt both pieces could have been better. Writer 1's story didn't really have any conclusion/didn't really go anywhere. The writing was nice as far as wording and imagery, but if the flow had been more regular, I might have enjoyed it more. I thought the people in the image looked more Far Eastern (Oriental) than South-East Asian (Indian/Pakistani) so the names and descriptions made more sense to me in Writer 4's piece. I had to force myself to finish reading Writer 4's piece tbph. The story was hard to follow. It seemed more focused on flow, but that actually got in the way. Words were repeated quite often. One of these pieces I mildly enjoyed. The other i didn't enjoy at all. My vote goes to Writer 1.

07-26-2013, 06:15 AM	#4
Iron Mike <Wild Wild 100's> Ranked Text Record 4 Won / 0 Lost Join Date: Apr 2012 Voted: 0 audio / 34 text Posts: 319 Mentioned: 84 Post(s) Tagged: 1 Thread(s)	I felt both pieces could have been better. Writer 1's story didn't really have any conclusion/didn't really go anywhere. The writing was nice as far as wording and imagery, but if the flow had been more regular, I might have enjoyed it more. I thought the people in the image looked more Far Eastern (Oriental) than South-East Asian (Indian/Pakistani) so the names and descriptions made more sense to me in Writer 4's piece. I had to force myself to finish reading Writer 4's piece tbph. The story was hard to follow. It seemed more focused on flow, but that actually got in the way. Words were repeated quite often. One of these pieces I mildly enjoyed. The other i didn't enjoy at all. My vote goes to Writer 1.
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