TPS: You wording is bad, forced if you will. Need more time on your set ups and punchlines. You've no actual punches in your bars here. I suggest reading some material of seasoned battlers to get a better idea and understanding of how to construct a set of battle bars. Dean: Done enough to take the win here with all round better bars. Fairs in, Fuels out. Posted on: 2014-06-23 19:24:23

Yo I want someone on my level to jump on this no rookies or new guys please N thanks I want a challenge so no virgin rappers Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-23 18:27:38

Yo dope drop dean G luck Bruh Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-23 19:03:28

Yeah thanks for the advise 2 fuel I'll look into that this is why I wanted to go up against vets to learn how to they do it now I'm seeing it better than ever so I'll continue battling veterans tho no virgin rappers haha Comment Only
Posted on: 2014-06-23 19:33:04

One had a much better all-around battle verse with decent punches and despite a somewhat awkward scheme, a better flow. The other needs to try and use harder/more creative concepts and a much cleaner/ straight-forward structure if the want to get better. FVC votes in. Voted: Savage Bangz /
Posted on: 2014-06-25 21:53:41

TPS - To start off, terrible verse. I am just going to be blunt about it. You need to read some other verses and see how they construct their set ups and bars and try to develop your own style from there. I felt there was too much fillish in your verse. The flow was off because it took so long to get the multi's and the scheme was very simplistic. No real punch, creative, or anything real direct in that verse. Gotta improve on your verses as a whole if you want to compete on the battlefield. Voted: Savage Bangz /
Posted on: 2014-06-26 01:14:10

Dean - The "Change states" punch as the best of your verse. I thought the others were light to average. "Eye to Eye" bar was cool, but as an overall punch it was light. I thought you could have turned that into a heavy bar with the concept, but I didn't feel that was executed to it's full potential. From there, the flow and multi's were on point. A pet peave I have is the stops in the multi's just to make them work. it doesn't sound as smooth as you think while your reading it. I hate reading shit like See him, (Pause) Hell… Your not the only one that I have seen do this, I know people on LB don't mind it. I just don't find that a smoothly written multi' seems more forced to me that you had to add like the "Text ad-lib" in there just to make the multi work. Either way, just a pet peeve like I said. Good work, I know you didn't need to do much to beat this verse. Voted: Savage Bangz /
Posted on: 2014-06-26 01:18:34

ye Voted: Savage Bangz /
Posted on: 2014-06-26 04:42:33