Both were pretty damn good. Lmao @ "more backward than a chinese comic strip" and execute's "filled brushes with tooth paste" Voted: Arsine / Execute
Posted on: 2013-06-09 01:27:02

Creative speaker, i think you had some pretty nice concepts iwas diggin some of that shit. Your multis are sort of meaningless though, it seems like you're just putting random words together to make them longer. Like what does "LOCHNESS KIDS" mean? where does it fit in to the punch? The chinese comic strip punch was dope but those multis make the setup weak. Try to focus more on making the multis fit the concept and less on making them so extravagant. Execute you got some nice flow and the multis were decent too. I don't know where youre going with some of these punches though. I was completely lost on the BLUSHING WITH NEW GRACE and BRUSHES WITH TOOTHPASTE line. A lot like Creative Speaker, i think youre letting big multis control your concepts. Don't sacrifice getting your ideas across for a nice sounding scheme. Both verses had similar strengths and weaknesses, it's really a close enough call for my winner to be edging it with one bar Voted: Arsine / Execute
Posted on: 2013-06-09 20:56:51

good battle fellas Comment Only
Posted on: 2013-06-11 03:19:43

fv Voted: Arsine / Execute
Posted on: 2013-06-16 22:54:10

Arsine, you seem to have the setup/punch concept under control, however it is evident in reading your verse that you are getting your punch and working backwards. Now this is the way you should probably be writing, but it should be done in a way that doesn't make it obvious. BLAST SIX IN GROANING DOPES sounds forced and its obvious that you are just using whatever you can to make the multi work. It might be better to use less syllables in your multi. In this case its 6 which is really overkill. same with CATCH THIS COUNT SO AVOID HIM, 7 syllables, sounds weird and forced. Takes away from the punch. Other than that your doing things well, try out some more wordplay and some more intricate metas and you'll find yourself elevating quickly. Comment Only
Posted on: 2013-06-19 19:28:33

Ex, you have some hella busted multis and your setups and punchess are often senseless. your biggest most consistent problem is that you throw these multis in that just don't make any sense. Many times I finish reading your verse and i'm just scratching my head trying to make sense of what I just read. You really need to work on creating set ups that are relevant to your punch if you ever plan on elevating here. Comment Only
Posted on: 2013-06-19 19:32:05