Edged this in all categories.. readability, flow, creativity, vocab/slang/wordplay , really.. besides forcing a few multies, one was just better. LOL @ Student's breakdown. So many flaws in that paragraph.. Posted on: 2012-10-26 15:38:44

ACish even Murk em in the Text rooms...Banana Bars famo..we global! Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-25 21:36:20

Need An Expo, Ask. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-25 22:10:53

AC's.. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-25 22:23:08

read both verses 3 times each...need an expo ask....new here COMPLETELY BIAS Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-25 22:48:32

~Ace Ease~ Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-25 23:25:15

Fairs in fellas. Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 04:03:04

Battle submitted for FVC contest so no expo. Fairs. Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 13:25:39

Generalization: Fir st Of All, Don't Do ALL CAPS BRO It Takes Away From Your Readability Factor (Which Really Isn't A Big Deal But Come'on You Want People To Read It Right? It Hurts My Eyes Lol) Alright Now To Vote... Bangers Doesn't Rhyme With Trainers So That's A Point Off. (Maybe In An Accent But I Don't See It) First Line Was "Okay" Nothing Really Creative Or Hard Hitting. You Also Need To Work On Your Vocabulary Because "Folding" Fakers Doesn't Make Sense And HOMIES NOT GREATER Seems Out Of Context, It Just Doesn't Make Sense Where It's At. Next Line Was Equally Worded Incorrectly. Where's The Rhyme To Condom? And Why Would You Even Say That? No Hate But It Just Makes You Look Bad. Plus The Articulate Bit Also Didn't Make Sense. Which Is Really Ironic When You Say His Wording Is Awful. No Hate I'm Just Giving You Some Pointers, Don't Take It To Heart. Fossil Line Was Meh, Didn't Really Have A Set-Up To It. So Far You Only Have The Opening Line As A Punchline Which Isn't Good Cause I'm Like Halfway Through Your Verse Already Dude. Next Bit Was Weak And Wasn't Really Directed At Your Opponent. Next Line Was Just Stretched WAY Too Long And Has Broken Multi's Everywhere. The Punch Wasn't That Great Either. Finisher Was More Or Less The Same. Overall You Have A Few Jabs In There But Nothing Really Awe Worthy Or Hard Hitting. Work On Being More Creative With Your Punchlines And Just Make Sure You Direct Them At Your Opponent. Plus Stay Away From Gunplay For The Most Part. You Can Have A Few Bars About It But Your Whole Verse Was Pretty Much About How You'll Blast The Guy Instead Of Dissing Him. Lastly Work On Your Wording And Vocabulary So Your Verse Can Flow Better And Not Have People Stumbling To Read Your Verse. I'mma Give You A 5 For An Average Verse, No Hate. CoRe sOuL: First Line Was Okay, Not That Hard Hitting But A Nice Lil' Intro. Got Her Jeans Bit Didn't Really Make Sense To Me With The Otter Dreams In Front, It's Like Your Just Put That Cause It Rhymed But It Doesn't Go With The Rest Of The Bar. Body Stack Line Was Okay But The Whole Seen/Scene Wordplay Is Pretty Played Out Already, I Liked The Set-Up Though. Next Line Was Cool But It Didn't Have A Set-Up Really (Which You Don't Really Have To But It's Kinda Random When You Just Start Another Line Without Building Up To It). Rock Her Beams? I Have No Idea What A Women's Beams Are So I'm Scratching My Head On That One. Next Line Was Okay-ish And I Got The Wordplay But What Do Plato/Socrates Have To Do With Soccer? Next Part The Multi's Were Okay But I Didn't Get The Whole Acrobat/Cat Bit ??? Next Bar Was Alright. The Nervous Streak Bar, The First Part Didn't Go With The Punchline. (Selling Drugs = Shitting?) Next Bit Was Again The Same, Your Not Setting Them Up For The Punchline Your Kinda Just Rhyming Words With Either Boasting Bars Or Stuff That Doesn't Go With The Punch At All. Finisher Was Probably Your Best Line. Overall You Gotta Work On Wording In Order To Just Have Things Flow With Each Other And Work On Setting Up The Punchlines With Relevant Subjects. Your Multi's Are For The Most Part On Point And Did For The Most Part Direct Your Punchlines Towards Your Opponent But Just Try To Be More Creative Line Your Last Line. I'mma Give You A 6 For Above Average. Let Me Know If You Guys Need Further Explanations Or If You Need Help With Anything. No Hate At All, Fair's In - Student Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 14:07:47

Good battle, dawg. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-26 15:39:20

Excuse me for this wordy essay I'm about to drop.. I figure its only proper to fully analyze this battle. :) with that being said.... Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 18:01:40

THE GENERALIZATION: the first line seemed kind of forced. The flow was off a little. When you say three multies like that, unless you are rapping in 3/4 time (thats 3 beats a measure, every whole note gets 1 beats) then you should have a set of 2 multies or won multie a bar. For example, (rapping in 4/4 time) a fitting flow for a first bar would be. "i spit crazy BANANA SHIT meaning all these flunkies could monk-me/monkey seeing the world in PANARAMA CLIPS" (terrible punchline but gets the point across.) if you were to rap that to a metronome you would see that the end of every main multi lines up with the end of every bar. Its a small picky mistake that wouldnt cost you much points but as a big music theory buff... flow kinda errks me when its not perfect.. Also another problem with that first line is using those multies in rapid succession like that made that punchline more weak then it already was. and its a terrible thing to start off a battle with a weak punchline because thats what sets up the tone for the battle. having a drop with a weak opener is like starting an esay with a weak intro with no hook. you lose your audience automatically that way. In the next couple of lines following the opener you had alot of none rhyming words capped. now I understand you might have things you want to stress but in a letsbeef text battle it is inappropriate or misleading to drop caps anywhere you want. "HARD, FLIPPIN BRICKS but he's not ARTICULATE" the rhyming on that is kinda forced. and "BURNING A CONDOM" and "WORDING IS AWFUL" if thats what you were going for. A couple more minor mistakes in their exactly likethat but overall towards the middle it started to get better.One thing you should work on is more wordplay and more knock out punches. Overall slightly above average verse. My fav line: "If you YEARNING TO DROP DUDE I'll GRIP THE CHROME that will LIFT YA DOME and TWIST YA BONES like TURNING A FOSSIL" Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 18:03:44

CORE SOUL: the first line your flow was there but stinging punchlines seemed to have missed the memo to show up to the battle. the otter line is defiitely my first time see that but i've never seen it because of how weak of a line it is. im not trying to tear you down. your multies were actually ok. kinda simple yes but it was more than 2 syllables so i'll give you a break. The next few lines managed to save face though. the whole bars and shots thing was played but the addition of the liver support bit made it orginal. As i read i felt like i was going on roller coaster ride of going p and down better fillers and right hooks. A little advice that i would give to you is you have a style of just coming out swinging from jump with a little braggadocio but still punching while bragging. So my advice to you is just focus on developing that straight punching style. Right now your right hook is good but if you get the knock out left hook in action with some more technically suited multies (or finesse) you could be heavy weight champ of LB. You are the classic style boxer. Some wordplay could have been executed better... like the service weak line was exactly the last word of that line because you the hooker's mentality thing didnt really go with that. I would have used a place that is known for terrible service or either that or use a cell phone provider. and add in the next few lines something to feed off that and make it less played. also i recommend you make your punches cohesive. use your concepts to throw combinations. dont be content with throwing one punch at a time using one concept. For example, if you have a line about bars takin shots.. in the next line add in something about basketball/more alcohol reference then in the next line through in some gun play then switch to another concept... I only saw this in your drop one time. Overall you had some nice punches and lines and i enjoyed this drop minus the minor technique mistakes. I would like to see you explore 4 word multies and 5-6 syllable multies. My Fav Line:"my 'Bars Takin Shots' with more 'Liver Support' than SOCCER TEAMS. Ya Bitch? I'll ROCK HER BEAMS she play footsie, i 'Don't Play-Toe/Plato' i 'Teach A Lesson'...like SOCRATES & have her "Face Sponsor Balls" like models in SOCCER-T'S" Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 18:07:11

Overall better punches took this for me. As always Fair Soul Fresh Vote. Nothin but love. Hate Free Zone. SF. Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 18:07:46

Well.. two folks came prepared, huh? Haha. FVC contest or not, I appreciate your input, time, and criticism. Although there were a few things I didn't agree with within your expos, I would say that it means the world to me yo. You guys don't understand how helpful it is to acquire information from legitimate voters. If you guys ever need anything from me, please let me know. Once again, thanks for your time and patience. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-26 18:16:39

^i like that. someone that can take real criticism even when they dont agree. thank you Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 18:23:19

Errrr okay. Gen; You had some nice parts where you showed some definite potential, you cap way too much though which takes away from your punches and gets confusing, also some of your stuff was forced and just didn't make sense. You're clearly trying to find a style and putting in work, so it's cool to get stuff wrong sometimes, take feedback on and improve, that's how things work, so I'm gonna point out your strong points - Vocab, you clearly got a big range of vocal and not just simple rhymes which is cool, i'd build on that if I were you, just re-read what you're saying man and check it actually works out loud. Keep elevating. Core; Quite basic compared to your normal stuff, also seems like you're experimenting with a different style. Nice concepts used throughout, good rhyming and structure, work on the punches though, also seems like you took your foot off the gas in some place, fix up that consistency, deff got the creativity edge though. Overall; work on it, keep battling, and don't take criticism as hate. Fairs in. Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 18:54:07

Lol @ Phro. Come At Me Bro. Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 21:51:13

No Prob @ Gen, Just Doing What You've Been Doing. Props On That. Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-26 21:51:44

It's time consuming but it's good to know that the criticism put out is beneficial and appreciated. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-26 22:02:47

Student says Bang don't rhyme with Train. LOL Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-26 22:47:28

Lol it isn't a perfect rhyme but it is a slant rhyme so it does. I didn't wanna say nothin' about it, though coz that was his input. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-10-26 22:52:07

Good battle. Felt one had better concepts here which led to better punches. Kwon and soul both my boys so i'll drop a 9-9 to get higher in the hotlist. Stay up Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-28 02:26:12

close one good beef Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-28 07:01:31

Like wet water otter Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-28 13:48:47

Beyyyy this was hella dope, I liked both verses had to read couple more times before I chose a winner, one edged it out to me FV Voted: Kwon / Q
Posted on: 2012-10-28 22:09:20