#Lame... Sam, I jotted a 8 up. Type one up and lemme kno wen ur done. I'll send thru. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-07-30 09:43:06

-XILED : Your opener was very weak..tbh the only good thing about them were the multies... The concept of dividing someone and the whole remainder shit is played and also you should structure your verse differently... You set-up was very weak due to your choice of words and also was your execution but i believe it was cuz the concept you chose cuz theres not much that you can say that hasn't already been said... Remember to stay fresh with concepts, speak about things others haven't and always attack your opponent with as many punches as possible but be sure to be complex with what you say... You said I "BLAST-THE-MATICS' leave the fag species 'EN-DANGER-ED" but you should always make sure there are no typos or make sure everything sounds right cuz i think you should have said I 'BLAST-THE-MATICS' and left this fag species 'EN-DANGER-ED'.. Well tbh i dont think you should of said any of it... All i did was add the word 'and', change leave to left and the to this but it sounds better... Your next bar (Training day/lame get paid) was a bit better on the concept side but still lacked complexity.. You wording is definitely and issue, make sure your typing as proper as possible...You said "your 'pen-failed' cash up front" you switched topics just like that, theres not a word there that shows your switching topics so work on your wording... Your next 2 bars (battle scars faded/convex dreams) weren't to good.. You definitely have to work on your structure and the scheme shit isn't really helping with your bars... Your basically doing abab when you should be doing abba which means your lines should look like this my 'BATTLE-SCARS-FADED' mind on 'cheese' the way I 'RATTLED-HIS-CAR-GRA TED' with 'COMPLEX-SCHEMES' i indulge while my my team engulfs him with bullets while he sleepin' like 'CONVEX-DREAMS.. Thats just an example of the abba scheme but you still have to work on your wording, concepts, set-ups and execution before you focus on schemes... I'll send you a list of necessities for a text battle to get you going... Your closer wasn't good... I really didn't like the multies cuz imo the bigger words that have tion on the end are always executed poorly and your closer is a prime example.. It holds back on creativity and interruption and intersection are to horrible words to try to use as multies cuz if you actually say them they barely even sound like they rhyme... The concept of your closer is played.. The whole crossing path shit and intersection its been done a lot so remember to look for some fresh concepts... Overall you got potential you just need to work on your concepts, structure, wording, set-ups & execution which should elevate with better wording and also you need to be more complex.......... BLUE SPIDER : Cap your multies cuz it helps the reader with an easier read.. Your opener (blood rain/its a game) lacked a lot.. Your multies need to be at least 3-6 syllables and right now there one.. rain and game would be your multie and if you say them you'll see they're only 1 syllable so work on 3-6 syllable multies and make sure the syllable count matches... I'll also send you some necessities to a text battle so i dont have to explain or take up space here in the comment box.. Your next 2 or 3 bars (none of you all/who can you call) was horrible.. Your just flowing with no creativity and you also dont have any set-ups which help attack your opponent and speaking of attacking your opponent you need to do less talking about you and more talk about your opponent but be creative with what you say.. Also you really need better concepts to speak on... Theres so much to spit about and its not hard to turn a simple concept such as cooking or driving or even a bird into a punch so work on saying things no one else has said but make sure it makes sense and its creative.. Make us think of what you mean but you have to word it correctly to make the read as smooth as possible... I cant even find your multies after your 'who can you call' line... I'm sure I told you in the past to cap your multies and you failed to do so... Everything after your who can you call line was just you flowing.. You still lacked set-ups and strong execution and your concepts were not good so feed on everything I'm telling you and let it soak in and then see where it gets you.. I dont think one word in your verse was 3 syllables long which is another thing, you need to work on your vocab but please dont use words unless you know what they mean.. Take a look at the basic text tournament thats currently going on to see some good examples of what you need to become a better emcee.. Overall this wasn't a good battle.. Votes based off of consistency... Voted: blue spider /
Posted on: 2012-07-31 17:40:29

Ait so heres the deal, Xiled..... you need work with them multis, first of all loose the dashes between your words yo all-of-this-isnt-hel ping-readability of your verse.... without them id be able to read it clearly, second, you had a couple multis that didnt match up... like ..'BATTLE-SCARS-FADE D' mind on 'cheese' the way I 'RATTLED-HIS-CAR-GRA TED' .... these multis had different syllable counts, that messes up the flow of the verse so try to keep the counts the same, if u dont understand 'syllables' look up the word. what you lack is a good setup for your punch, try to use punches that are relevant yet out of the box, alot of your punches ive seen before, read up on some heavyweight texters on the site to learn that, if you need names just hit me up and ill let you know of some good people to read. that go's for you too BLUE SPIDER..., but X you had some punches at the end, i like how you tryd to punch punch punch, but you still need a setup like i said earlier, use more multis leading up to the punch, but try to make the multis relevant to the punch youre using. Voted: blue spider /
Posted on: 2012-08-02 00:12:29

BLUE SPIDER..... not too many textcees use the lowercase rap style, because it is seen as a rookie's verse, in this case it is, you lack setups aswell and should see the advice above that i left for Xiled... your verse was all over the place and didnt have any pauses to give the voter time to absorb each punch, it was a run on verse if i may, try not to talk about yourself so much and focus on the opponent, using punches more directed towards him.. half your verse was about you... try to end with a harder hitting closer... your closer was even about you being fly.... but should be about youre opponent and how not fly HE is . Work on adding more complex multis... what i mean by this is make more than one word rhyme .... if you want a simple example of rhyming two or more words... read Xiles verse... but the fair is in, one edged with better multis by a hair, also with better punches, the other had a smoother read but didnt have much impact behind his punches. monsta vote Voted: blue spider /
Posted on: 2012-08-02 00:21:38