this motha fucka think HIS CUNT, ASS is ,RAW Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-07-27 22:29:20

could throw ONE HUNDRED MEDAPHORES sorry spelling typod Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-07-27 22:30:42

Easy win...fv Voted: IndicaL / RAPfORever
Posted on: 2012-07-27 22:42:38

INDICAL : Cap your multies cuz it helps for an easier read... Your opener (hull n that/hit with a bat) is horrible... There was no creativity whatsoever due to the lack of good wording and concepts and also you didn't provide a set-up to help with your punch or multies... I sent you a tip list explaining the necessities to a text battle so i dont have to explain what a multie is or metaphors or anything else like that here in the comment box... You need to work on your wording though and make sure you go back and re-read your verse for any typos and always edit til you feel your verse is perfected.... Your next bar (phantom menace/play tennis) was bad... Dont talk about yourself during text battles, you need to attack your opponents in every line... Your problem here was also the lack of set-ups.. "tight" like dennis, tight would be your set-up but thats not to good of a set-up cuz it could apply to so many other people and things.. Also you lacked complexity.. Creativity is another helpful necessity you need to win a text battle... You didn't have a strong execution/punch cuz you were basically talking about yourself... And remember that your multies need to be at least 4-6 syllables.. And throw in some references or metaphors that are creative... You wanna make us think of what you say but you always want it to make sense and be true... Your next 3 bars (play run/your mum) were good either.. Your wording was awful and you you used the word run twice as a multie and thats not good either... Your concepts need to improve and in order to do so your need to take a look at new things and not just rap about what the last guy does... Do some research on things and make some similes or metaphors out of them... Theres so much you can spit about and right now it shows that your just starting out so take the tips i sent and use them... Example : you better not talk OR PLAY THOUGH cuz I'll leave you 'twisting in the air' like a TORNADO.... This was just an example on how i can attack an opponent using the concept of a tornado and nothing else.... I feel if you take a look at some of the vets battles you'll see what you need to elevate and you can also go to the tourney section and take a look at whats going on there... Your next bar (what a pity/act shitty) was pointless to be honest.. It was basically filler but to be honest most of the verse is filler but this bar is short and there is nothing to it at all... Your closer had nothing to it.. I can see that your can attack your opponent but the lack of creativity doesn't make your punches strong and also if had strong concepts and worded your bars better then maybe you'll have a better shot... Make sure you look and take in the tip list i sent you and provide them in every battle.............. ........ RAPFOEVER : Your opener was not good at all... In your 'DIFFERENT SPECIES' line you have different capitalized and it doesn't rhyme with anything so dont do that... And you said pest like feces which doesn't really make sense cuz your basically saying hes annoying like shit or your saying hes a bug like shit so work on your choice of words here... And also your concept needs improvement cuz good concepts are also a necessity in text battles... Your next bar (one hundred metaphors/his whore) once again your capitalizing what doesn't need to be.. Also there was no set-up and to be honest i believe your execution/punch would have been weak with one anyways... Work on your wording and flow of your verses cuz they will help... The concept was not good at all, it lacked creativity and it didn't really hit hard at all.. I think I'll send you my tip list also... Anyways i sent it so use all of what I'm talking about and you'll elevate in no time... Your next bar (up to date/in your face) is better due to the scheme but still that capitalizing unnecessary shit really annoys me... heres what the bar should look like... it aint up to DEBATE, this guys A WASTE, you so fuckin 'wack' even when you cooked 'crack', it blew up in your FACE! or you could have said YA FACE either way though the concept, the execution, the rhymes, and the flow to the bar was weak... You need to provide some metaphors or references to help strengthen your bars... Your next bars (local bar/into a car) were very weak... You need to work on wording ,concepts, set-ups and your execution and also only capitalize your multies and always provide at least 4-6 syllable multies cuz right now yours are only 1 syllable.. Check out some of the vets battles to see what I'm talking about... I believe with a little help and time you'll elevate.. Your closer was very weak you jumped from spreading like a disease which is a played out thing to say to saying he'll end up with lock jaw which was not good at all... Heres what your lines should look like.........Build up line.. then in the next line goes the set-up then the execution/punch or you can go with the aabba scheme or you can do the build up line then in the next line it goes set-up, punch then use a simile to the punch.. Overall this battle wasn't too good to be honest... Voted: IndicaL / RAPfORever
Posted on: 2012-07-28 18:45:38

RAPfORever took this one easy. FV. No hate. Vote back Voted: IndicaL / RAPfORever
Posted on: 2012-07-30 21:46:44