Really, this battle was night and day for me. [Dej]: In your opening bar, the first multi was filler.. the EJ punch was super soft.. fillerish multies after that part (beat ya melon strong? That's not even saying anything.) BUT..... the PETA punch was fucking great. Second bar, "kill em for sport" like hunters with buddies? That's not even wordplay, dude. You're saying you'll kill him for sport like hunters kill for sport, and started your scheme with a horrible multi. Hell, it's not even a similie, it's just saying the same thing twice. The $20 part should've come *after* the mother part, and *before* the funny puns part for it to make more sense and flow better.. so, your structure is iffy in this bar so far. "Instead of bland ones"? A bland $1? wtf is that.. more filler to fit a scheme. Your "AI" wordplay doesn't work for several reasons. You're trying to tie "AI" to "Allen Iverson" & "run for his money" according to your expo. Iverson doesn't run for his money, he plays ball for his money. If there were a famous track & field guy, a marathon runner, or hell even a fucking soccer player with the initials "A.I." that punch *could have* worked.. the Rev Run / ransom punch was mediocre.. a better setup for that punch (while scrapping the AI part) would've made for a harder bar. Ounce/Liter wordplay was iffy just because of the wording - "he wanna be leader". I get that it has to be worded that way for your scheme to work, but don't let schemes force you to word your shit all ugly. The outta shape/geometry punch was okay.. but it's only saying he's bent out of shape, which isn't hard hitting. Also, outta shape matches overweight and shape matches geometry in the wordplay. Nothing matches "bent".. that's why it's just okay and not any better. The porn part was decent.. average punch. Whore swing multi = filler. Reign/weather is too easy of a connection to be considered hard. The formspring thing.. I looked at that line for a while trying to pick at it. I get all the connections you're trying to make within the bar which is clever, but ask yourself: What are you really trying to say? The wording you chose is just weird.. example: "full of yourself" is in quotes. Why? Nothing else in that bar remotely relates to that.. unless it's a far stretch, or it's something soft and irrelevant. Your next bar was okay. I wanted more out of it, like the others. Your second and third strings of multies are pure filler... the Dundee line was straight, but the end punch lacked uumph. If you're just saying he's okay, then sure.. it's an okay diss and tie in, nothing more. If you're trying to say two things at once like real wordplay, then it failed.. because of the way it's worded.. assuming they'd claim something else other than UK. Eventhough I've seen more pride/lion etc.. lines on this site in the last month that I want to see in the rest of my life, your closer did connect, and it was the hardest, cleanest, and best-worded bar in your entire verse. So, in all for you, you had a decent drop but it seemed like you were trying to hard with your concepts.. you thinned yourself out, and in turn, crippled yourself. Work on polishing up the wording if you want your wordplay to connect. Also, WTF was with that enormous expo? LMMFAO. Absolutely not needed, kid... this isn't kindergarten. [Askari]: knight/valiant was an okay tie in. Piracy/pyro see is a little stretched, but I'll let it slide with a soft "a" sound for the end of pyro, making that tie in with Somalia pretty nice... but "lying flat" doesn't belong with that play on words as it has nothing to do with the ship capsizing... "washed up" woulda been a better substitute. The whole setup for the entity punch was okay, but.. ah, fuck it. After reading over it a few times I'll let this one slide too. Slightly imperfect pronunciation but it was a very nice concept. The next bar was solid, all around. SEVERAL good punches in that bar alone.. literally more than Dej's whole verse. The closing few bars with the personals were pretty nice.. good hits in there, very solid flow and good use of your scheme. If you want more of a breakdown or anything else explained, PM me. Posted on: 2012-01-26 00:51:43

Plays = drug deals.. that's why I said my reefa smellin bomb & I dont feel his plays.. also his wordplays.. nameplays.. etc. Elton John is gay & he plays the piano. Keys as in keystyles. Dear Life / Deer Life.. people call in to telethons to donate money.. often left on hold due to the high call volume. The transition line about killin'em for sport & hunters connects with deer life.. A.I. = Allen Iverson.. plays basketball & gets paid.. "run for his money".. A obviously being Askari. Rev Run.. from Run DMC.. get it? lol.. also the concept is I gave his mom money easy just for being the dirty hoe she is.. & although Ask has d riders I'm not gonna be so kind to him & give him a run for his money. Ounces.. liters both used for measuring weight of liquid.. Geometry deals with shapes.. out of shape.. fat duh. Hail & rain are both different kids of weather.. whether.. d's a war king. Formspring is a social network where all you do is Ask questions Ask being nameplay for Askari. What I mean by form spring is also his substance hasn't jumped forward or improved.. or blossomed.. because things bloom in Spring.. the season. Creative eh? Also lots of rain in Spring.. connectin with the weather pun. The next pun is implying that he prolly thinks this'll e over no problem & say it's already done d(ej).. like the place he's from.. but I'm flipping that on him & saying people where lives would only claim he's (o)k(ay) at spittin.. and thats prolly the best rapper they have so they're ashamed & only claim UK. GET ON MUH LEVEL BRUH N E wayz. Pride Rock = the place Scar pushes off Mufasa in Lion King & vice versa with Simba to him.. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-19 19:24:43

woah. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-19 19:24:58

Expo: First bar is regarding the recent news story about the caspcized Italian cruise ship, pyro-see/piracy, crews/cruise. The second bar: end-ta-d/entity, existential visions - philosophical - put it all togather to understand the punch (question his existence). Third bar: seen this before/dej-a-view/de javu, sit with A/front row seat (row AA is generally front row) then 'slaughter his whole team' links onto bar 4. Bar 4 is self-explanitory. G'luck dude, Always 100. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-23 05:52:48

These expos are mad ignorant lol, ima read tho. If i get stuck with words like 'The' and 'Why' i'll pm you lol. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 06:10:36

LMAO, now I look back I agree, not giving the LB voters enough credit here. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-23 06:13:58

Dej: Peta bar was mad nice, Run for his money was dope, Form Spring was a cracky concepts, UK bar was a swing n a miss imo, Closer was decent. Ask: Cruise line was nice & relevant, Entity was nice, felt the wording could of been stronger, Front row seat was fuckin dope, altho the president bar and its build wasnt really relevant to this battle it was a nice piece of lyrical flexing no doubt, closer wasnt that great a way to finish. Ok, this is easily the nicest battle ive read in a minute! Both had consistancy issues that stopped it getting legendary but you both proved you could be MAJOR fuckin problems. I loved Dej's spring line & Ask's dejavu line. Honestly i think one was just more consistant with attacking his opponent. Gonna toss dimes to help this on its way to the hotlist, cracky battle here. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 06:19:46

I had an overweight geometry teacher lol. Anyway, dope shit ya'll. Go.On! Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-23 07:02:51

Ima come back and drop a vote. Fire guys... Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 07:35:34

dope ass battles for sure. i think one was more consistent giving him my vote. both had some sick concepts and no1 really out-did the other here it came down to who i thought had a few more bars that hit and who had a slightly better approach. props to both, you had some dope lines one just attacked harder overall.. fairs in Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 08:00:31

I fux with this battle.. Some haymakers on both sides. One was more consistently strong to me in a dead heat Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 08:49:03

ukno......... Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-23 08:57:57

Goon Sauce Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-23 10:55:28

fuckin hell that was dope! I had never heard of Dej before but dude got bars. Anyway...both had nice punchlines throughout the battle however I do believe that was consistancy was to the level of his opponent's and that caused him the battle...close one tho Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 10:59:34

one's constistancy wasn't*...Fuckin typos Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 11:00:19

LMAOOOOO wow this REALLY impressed me. Shit Dej where'd you come from though?? Ima break it down a bit - Dej - started well, your mutlies were nice, not always relevant but created a good flow resulting in a nice readability, though.. it took a while to come to the punch, but the bar was entertaining in itself, it stayed like this most the way through a LOT of nice flow and entertainment with the occasional K.O punch, your verse was well rounded, clever and funny. My favourite line of yours had to be that geometry teacher line extremely creative. You stayed quite consistent, a couple occasions i thought you might drop off but managed to keep it going and you ended on a very nice closer, few nice personals in there also, dope. - Askari - dope dope dope opener, very creative bar with nice punch which was kind of hard to follow IMO your next bar was more of a down point, good concept but the multies were a tiny bit broken which made the flow slightly off. After that you picked it back up and the whole middle part was nice.. but then you went hard as fuck towards the end with those relevant multies, comical lines, dope personals and just point blank entertaining bars. my favourite line of yours was your opener, but the last few bars were cracky no doubt. This was one of the best 16 lines i've seen in a while, and for sheer entertainment value and creativeness of this battle ima give you a high.. and a low... Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 11:36:07

DAMN Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 12:04:08

Both definitely went in. IMO one had more personality and humor, but the other had better connections and punchlines. Concepts were piff on both sides. Both had one line that actually made me chuckle. Good shit. After 2 reads my edge goes to the one who had a few harder punches.. Fairs with expo's always. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 13:26:11

wow that was good Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 13:34:53

Dej coming out the wood works on our ass!!! lol dope ass battle though... my loser had nice multies and flow... alot of nigguhs cant transfer that from audio to text but you did it very nicely... i liked the punches too... the winner had some sick ass lines in there... and the personals were very entertaining... FVC vote dropped Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 15:05:20

dope as fuck... Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 15:07:27

get that 5-5 nonsense the fuck outta here Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 16:31:05

deleted swaying comments too...havent we talked about this before yo... Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 16:32:44

ok... major dopeness. did not expect it to be this good. showstoppin bars from both (that with better wording could have been harder).. but one kind of dissappointed in the end. fv. highs i suppose. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 17:00:57

fv Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 18:12:05

gb fv Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 18:33:51

gb Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 19:15:49

Lol ahhh shit...Askari gettin at me? lol good shit from both sides! GOON SQUAD!! Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-23 19:27:04

fire!! Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-23 20:05:31

ait. dej. i fucks wit most of the wordplays. the peta line was dope. the closer was dope too. the rest were cool. the multis were nice but part of the time they were out of place . like the reefer part in the opener didnt correlate to the peta bar. id also fix the structure a lil. make it a smoother easier read. real solid ish tho Ask... the verse was real solid. some hard jabs in there. i like the complexity it was real dope here. i fucks with the front row seat line. hit pretty hard towards the end u started to go on a tangent about his other crew members and the president but i dont think that really coinsides with dej personally. alotta multis towards the end. both showed they have mad potential. the the winner took this by slightly harder hittin lines. the illest votes in. 9's for hotlist. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-24 14:40:55

Fair vote. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-24 17:16:28

Good battle fair is in Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-24 21:05:10

Good bars guys Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 00:32:29

Dej..no one needed an explanation to your verse, other then why you spit it.. Askari muuuuuuuuuurdered you in his first bar. Goodbye. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 02:23:39

Lol funny guy. Comment Only
Posted on: 2012-01-25 02:26:18

The fuck is with a 64 bar explanation on a 16..hahahahaha Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 02:27:34

send something Dej..Promise those one two word broken rymes get ate like yuh mammys pussy baby boy Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 02:28:52

GB Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 04:16:05

Whore Swing was a good hit. Epic wordplay. Selling Sickness and flowing dope was cool. Dej-a-vu was sick. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 06:33:28

GB. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 06:36:18

This battle was fuckin nice, I've literally read each 4 times a pop and find something new everytime. To me although both we're insanely complex and flowed nice, one's consistancy was a little more on point which edged them my vote. Still no hate to either, nice spar fellas. Props. Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-25 19:25:02

This was probly the best battle ive ever read respect to both Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-26 05:38:59

didnt rate Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-26 05:40:39

? whys this shit not tryin to work lol Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-26 05:43:20

spam Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-26 05:43:55

im filin a complaint this sites racist as hell Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-26 05:46:09

9-9 MOTHERFUKERZ NICE SHIT Voted: Dej / Askari
Posted on: 2012-01-26 09:43:42